First Date Drinks
  • Posted Jul 8, 2014
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A drink of choice is more than just a beverage. It says something about you, and it will be one of the first things your date learns about you. To make the perfect first impression, you must manage what message your drink sends to your date.

These are some of the most common drinks, decoded.

Beer

When a guy orders a beer, it’s like “duh.” The majority of guys love beer. When a lady orders a beer on a date, it sends a signal of being laid back. Either she’s trying to be cool (which is so not cool) or she actually likes beer. If it’s the latter, be prepared for questions. For instance, I like lighter beers like lagers and hefeweizens. Knowing the actual name for the beer I prefer usually makes men melt.

Gin and Tonic

A timeless drink like Gin and Tonic is classy, but can also seem a bit stale. A man with this drink looks rich, but like he doesn’t have the courage to try something new. When a woman orders this, it shouts ambiguity. The opinion on this drink is utter indifference, so maybe spice things up by substituting tonic for ginger ale.

Long Island Iced Tea

This drink only has one connotation: this person wants to get fucked up. With four different kinds of liquor, there is no question that you will be feeling a buzz after your first drink. Don’t order this on a first date – you’ll look like an alcoholic, regardless of gender or body mass.

Margarita

Aye, papi! Un margarita por favor? Admittedly, frozen drinks seeming with sugar are one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Unless you’re at a cantina or tortilla chips are present, this drink just doesn’t fit for a first date drink. Since a frozen drink doesn’t typically work on a first date, a mojito is a better alternative and still screams “I’m fun!”

Martini

If you actually know what’s in a martini, props to you. This gem is composed of gin and vermouth, and it turns “dirty” when you add olive juice. Martinis are sexy, I mean James Bond orders them so you know it’s good. A guy ordering this looks slightly feminine because of the signature glass, so gentlemen should opt for stemless.

Mojito

Without a doubt, bitches love mojitos. Muddled mint is not only fun to say, it’s also refreshing. A woman who orders this wants to keep things light. She also isn’t afraid to let the bartender earn his tip, since this beverage takes considerably longer than the average pour. If a guy wants one of these and you’re not poolside, I’d say that’s a red metrosexual alert. The mojito remains a strictly female drink, at least one date number one.

Rum and Coke

A classic mix of rum and coke is a bar staple, but not ideal for a first date. Rum smells, and if you are drinking it you will smell too. This can be a major turn off for your date, especially if they don’t care for the taste or odor of rum You’ve been warned, and note that clear rum is not nearly as smelling.

Scotch

A man with scotch is refined like Ron Burgundy. While this liquor is usually reserved for guy gatherings, a solo stud with a scotch seems upscale. A woman, with scotch just looks confused, like she thought it would be sweeter. If you order this as a lady, be sure to know the difference between Brandy and Cognac, lest you look like a phony.

A Shot of Anything

Are you out of college? Do you plan on driving home? If the answer to one of these was yes, you should not order a shot. If someone offers you one, the socially acceptable thing to do is take it out of their hand then pretend to drink it with everyone before setting it on the bar or a neighboring table.

Vodka Cranberry

Requesting this cocktail begs to be uncomplicated. No bartender can mess up this drink, and every location will have it. At a club this is what I order because when I have to yell it over the bass, I know the bartender won’t question me. It’s simple enough that a guy can order it without looking lame, and basic enough that a girl can enjoy it as well.

Vodka Red Bull

You’re a little tired but you still want to drink with everyone, so you order a vodka Red Bull to balance the depressant of alcohol. It’s understandable, but also really, really unhealthy. Caffeine is also a laxative. Perhaps in a room full of frat bros, this drink has a certain appeal. With that said, frat guys are usually assholes, no pun intended.

Vodka Soda

As a time-honored favorite of women trying to lose three pounds, vodka soda is the ultimate skinny girl cocktail. It’s mundane, but shows a certain understanding of alcohol. Guys choose this if they have little imagination, and girls will go for it if they think they’re fat.

Wine

As far as I’m concerned, wine is the only appropriate alcohol to order at a restaurant, especially on a first date. Skip the specialty cocktails and order a Malbec. Any woman with half a brain should know what her favorite wine is because it’s the easiest way to get drunk with family and avoid looking like an alcoholic. Knowing about wine is an excellent conversation starter, and can easily bridge the age gap and make you look hella sophisticated.

Understanding what your drink says without speaking will give you an edge in dating. So just order the vino and don’t forget to put your pinky out.

7 Responses to “First Date Drinks”

  1. Peter Frank says:

    A little copy-editing and opinion:
    1. Gin & Tonic (and any other mixed drink staple): You can sex it up by calling the brand of [gin] and saying something like, “just a splash of tonic [or you mixer]”
    2. Margarita: I agree about the frozen drink, but they don’t have to be frozen.
    3. Rum and Coke: “Jack and Coke”? I don’t know of a brand of rum with jack in the name. That said, never order any drink by some diminutive. Say the whole name, own it! And maybe what you meant was, “Never order any liquor with a mixer designed to hide the taste of everything else in the glass.” [eg. 7 & 7]
    4. Scotch: If you like it, order it. Props if you like it neat.
    Lastly, 5. Wine. Agree 100%.
    PS. Never order a named cocktail from a bar menu. It displays lack of imagination and they are usually designed to increase the bar tab.
    PPS. Never is a long time. At some painfully genuinely craft bars, the only way to play along is to order these strange mixes. I have enjoyed one or two. If the bartender is going to spend 5 minutes with a mortar and pestle and fresh herbs working on my drink, I’ll pay attention. National franchise chain ‘signature cocktails”, no thanks.

  2. David K says:

    This was an interesting article, but the author shows very little understanding of what a proper Margarita is. If made properly, it is neither frozen nor is it particularly sweet. I agree that wine is a good “go-to” drink overall, and I also agree that a Margarita would be best limited to Mexican restaurants, I feel that the Margarita is minimized in a very strange and unfair way. This drink can also leave open a discussion of favorite tequilas without falling into the “shot” trap.

  3. AMarie says:

    The difference between Brandy and Cognac is that Cognac IS Brandy, and neither of them is scotch.
    I’ll stick with my “ambiguous” gin and tonic, I think I’ll pass on whatever gin and ginger ale says…

  4. Tom says:

    And it shows that the author forgot the classical drinks – a glas of champagner or prosecco.
    Oh what is with Cider or Cidre or an Calvados?

    Rum and Cola is nothing for any date.

    Gin Tonic is definitly possible. And the author shows his lack of knowlegde. there are 1000 ways to make a Gin Tonic.

    Back to the Wine. A Malbec is without food not a drink for the first date. If you want to show style or knowledge choose a white wine, a light one from Loire or D’Alsace or Austria.

    And Vodka is inacceptable for the first date. it doesn’t matter how it is served.

    Well the Mojito shows a lot of prejudices. In Summer Mojito is refreshing and could be drunk by man and woman.

  5. Kevin says:

    Sounds like Brook is dumping on just about any kind of alcohol on a first date.

    Hey lady, if he or she doesn’t want to drink, fine. Have a diet coke or stay home.

  6. Benjy says:

    An amusing article. Some of it’s correct (particularly the entry on long island iced tea), and large portions of it are presumptuous. None of it applies to gay first dates, though. :/ (Except, again, the long island iced tea)

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