“Knocking boots, bumping rumps, getting it on” … any way you describe “it”, it still means one thing: SEX. You’re in the beginning stages of a relationship and sooner or later you two are going to sleep together for the first time. We’ve all been there. Sex is a very personal experience and it means different things to everyone. The age-old question is – How long do you wait to become intimate?

The First Date

You’re both on your best behavior trying to impress the other. The date goes well and you have a thousand butterflies fluttering around in your stomach when it’s time to leave. A “goodnight kiss” is okay to do on the first date, but please, hold the tongue. Also, it’s never okay to sleep together on the first date! If you want the relationship to go beyond a one night stand you have to hold out a little longer than that. No matter how sexy the guy / girl is sitting across from you, make sure to stick to kissing.

The First Sexual Encounter

The butterflies haven’t stopped since the first date. Your interest in each other is growing and you want to be on a more intimate level. Is it too soon? Have you made him wait long enough? Over the years, the “three date rule” has become standard when deciding to do the deed with your new partner. New research has now revealed that the average single girl isn’t ready to sleep with a new guy until after the fifth date. You could feel ready after three dates or prefer to wait a month (maybe even more!).

The point is, there isn’t a right amount of time to wait on giving it up. When you feel like the person you’re seeing is serious about taking the relationship to the next level and you’re comfortable with them, then do it. No one should judge you for waiting or not waiting a specific time period. Do what you feel is right. If you are more comfortable waiting longer and your dude is pressuring you, forget about it! If he was the right one he would be down to wait for you until you’re completely comfortable to get down. When you feel the right connection, you’ll know.

The First Night Together

Fireworks! It’s been done and hopefully it was everything you two were waiting and hoping for. As if planning the timeline for that wasn’t stressful enough, now you have to think about when the right time would be to stay the night. Maybe you waited long enough to have sex together that you two don’t want to leave each other after the first time. That’s cool, too!

The first sleepover is just as intimate as the first time having sex. Your bed is your most holy personal space. This new person is sharing your bed all night and waking up face-to-face. Are you a sound sleeper or do you toss and turn? Do you sleep mostly on your back or prefer to sprawl out to takeover the entire bed? Is your hair crazy in the morning? How rank is your morning breath? It’s a big step to have your new boo see you in all your morning glory. You may feel more comfortable waiting an extra month after you’ve been sleeping together, or it could happen after the fourth time. Again, this is based off of your comfort level in the situation.

The Final Factor

You are the deciding factor in any sexual encounter. If it feels right then go with your gut!