The Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Man
  • Posted Apr 25, 2014
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There is a fine line between hot and Hefner.  Recently we have seen the media portray age-gapped relationships in a variety of ways. With gossip staples like Courtney and Doug there are a variety of thoughts on these sometimes controversial relationships.

Cons:

Dad or date?

Realizing your new boyfriend is just a few years younger than your father is a harsh reality.  Remind yourself what ignited this initial attraction and focus on that.  After all, there is something innately sexy about a silver fox.

Power

He inevitably has a few years on you – professionally and personally.  You might love his deep pockets, but with his great power comes your vulnerability.  There is potential that you could never be financially equal to him, accepting this is key.

Socially

You may need to start skipping the traditional Thursday through Sunday bar scene with the girls to appease his lifestyle.  While this may seem like a much-needed break, there is potential for you to end up at a home-dinner party socializing with a group that may tell you about their son or daughter that is “just about your age.”  Awkward.  Try to create a balance.

Desire

Dating someone 20 to 30 years older than you means you’re probably going to see time take its toll in many ways.  When the allure of dating someone new wears off, it’s important to accept your partner for the person that you met – even if they are 20 years your senior.

Pros:

Stability

An older man usually has an established work, social and home life.   As a younger, or transitioning individual, this stability may be exactly what you need.

Security

Money honey!  Drinks, dinner, and gifts all on his dime.  Older men are often looking for something consistent. You can be sure that he won’t play games like millennials, since he’s past his prime player years.

Sex

The more experienced, the better.  Mature men have refined tastes, and that isn’t limited to his pallet.  He can show you things you never knew possible, and you can teach him that new trick you learned in Cosmo.

Chivalry

Older men are more old-school about courtship.  You won’t be dealing with the same texting, mixed signal bullshit that you’ve experienced in the past.

Advice

You’re going through something stressful?  Chances are he has been there too.  Advice and wisdom will be readily available from someone who isn’t your parent, but is equally wise.

Desire

You will never feel more wanted in your life.  Your body next to his will feel like a temple.  You won’t catch yourself with lingering thoughts of other lovers or competition.

Remember:  in the wise words of Aaliyah, “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number.”

What’s your favorite thing about older men?

20 Responses to “The Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Man”

  1. Cristina says:

    Quality older men feel great to me. They are settled in their personality and character. Solid. Established. They can give you advice. The biggest thing is that they are solid & mature. I luv having dinner & conversations with older men. “A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books”… very true!

  2. DarkHorseSD says:

    Need me to write an article “The Cons and Cons of dating a younger woman?”

  3. Jersey Darling says:

    I’d expect to find this article on SA. In my experience, most of the men on WYP are far younger.

  4. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    How about “The Cons and Cons of dating a woman?” LOL!

  5. The Truth says:

    I liked this article. Older men are much better than little broke punks that think they are cool.

  6. Jenny Alaniz says:

    We cant help who ourvhearts love

  7. Mostly correct. It is amazing not having to take care of myself… however, the sex part… He does know some tricks, but the stamina is lacking. He doesn’t have his 20 year old body anymore. That’s all I had to add.

    • lol says:

      lol. maybe its just that guy. im 18 and my bf is 34 and he has more stamina than any guy ive ever been with.

    • Tiana says:

      It all depends on the person. I am 23 and the love of my life is 49 and he has great stamina. We stay active together, workout, encourage each other to eat well, and sometimes his sex drive is even higher than mine.

  8. Tom says:

    Funny article. it shows a lot of the author. I thought we are in modern cultures where age doesn’t count. But it seems not every culture is on this step yet.
    Noone asks how old you are because it doesn’t matter.

  9. ugh says:

    this is a great article except you could have picked a song that didn’t have underage sex vibes. ugh.

  10. ExoticCandi says:

    I enjoy older men. I usually attract younger, cocky guys that do not know how to treat a woman. Lately, I have been attracting more older guys and I find that I like the maturity, conversation, I can tell them my 1-5 year goals and they get it.

  11. j says:

    Age does matter. Take dating an older men at least 15 yrs your senior, they tend to give lectures about every little thing you shouldn’t do and sleep by 9pm every night. Yikes!

    • Tiana says:

      Everyone has their opinion on age difference in a relationship, but the theme I’ve come across in it all is that if you love each other unconditionally than everything else shouldn’t matter. My boyfriend is 26 years older than I am but we have never loved and trusted anyone more.

  12. in love and confused says:

    I love my boyfriend who is few years older than me, but I just found out his weird kinks recently and am confused as have grown to love him too much,he loves to suck dick once in a while n always expresses to see other dicks fuck me, it’s a turn on for him.. .am confused as I don’t know what to do and I love him completely. .toldh him I’ll give it a try once with a threesome. ..is that weird?

  13. Ms thomas says:

    At first i loved my older man ge gave me things we went out.i got preganet left him cause the living situation wasnt stable came back after our son was born.again the living situation went bad again.so hes made theses promises to me.going in 2yrs im going to.save my money.but he keeps going out with his old.buddies thats means him no good. He want listen to me treats me like im a child. Im 6 mths preganet. I planned on leaving things not working out

  14. Nomae S Sithole says:

    Am also dating a guy who is older than me and I love him so much.

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