The Cost of Saying No


Perhaps you didn’t think twice about it. You fell into the habit of turning down or ignoring date bids here and there. First, you found yourself saying no to only a few men, but before you knew it, you found yourself saying no all too often. What were the repercussions?

Attractive members let $75 million slip through their fingertips last year. That’s right, over $75 million.

More than half a million date bids were denied or ignored in 2013. Isn’t it time you started giving guys a chance?

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The Offer is Too Small

Are you setting your standards too high? On a previous blog, we stated how many females embrace offers over $500. While this holds true for some ladies, the average date bid is a little over $100. This means if a male is creating bids around that range, he is making a solid effort. Learn to appreciate the gift of giving as much as the gift itself.

Words of Wisdom: “Learn the wisdom of compromise for it is better to bend a little than to break.”

He’s “Not My Type”

You joined a dating website so you can meet more people, but alas, you find yourself falling into the same old trap. Why revert to the same thinking that lead you here in the first place? If you wanted to keep dating the cheapskates you found in dimly lit hotel bars or overcrowded sports bars, why go through the trouble of creating a profile? Online dating is about seeing what is out there because of your limited proximity or social circles.

Words of Wisdom: Join a dating site with an open mind. “Your type” is not necessarily the right type.

No Profile Photo

This one is rather tricky. Should you be accepting bids left and right from people who have zero profile photos? No. But, should you count them out altogether? No.

It’s okay to accept a bid from someone without a profile photo since you are simply opening the window for communication. Once you start messaging this person, ask them if they can personally send you a picture. If they say no to your private request, then proceed with caution. At least you can say you made the effort.

Words of Wisdom: Trust your instincts while proceeding with caution.

The Deal Wasn’t Closed

A bid was made and you accepted. You opened the door for communication, but nothing happened, is this the end?

Don’t let this offer simply pass. Sure, you are the woman, but you can still reach out. Remember, it took ample courage for a man to step up and ask you to accompany him in the first place, it doesn’t hurt to offer a few encouraging words in return. Say “hi”, ask him a few questions, and get the ball rolling.

Bonus: Men love it when you start off by asking “Where should we go on our date?” or “I’m really looking forward to our date. What did you have in mind?”

Words of Wisdom: Take initiative, and make the date happen.

Date Smarter

Ladies, it’s time to give more men a shot. Stop overlooking good men with great intentions, and even better, offers. Try looking beyond “your type” or ignoring the shy guy. It’ll result in more dates and more eye-opening opportunities. is anything but conventional. It’s about time you start thinking similarly.

50 Responses to “The Cost of Saying No”

  1. The Truth says:

    This is a great article. It’s speaking of what is more real instead of making men out to be below the standards of women. The last paragraph is the best part. Thank you author of this piece.

  2. Josh says:

    @The Truth

    Actually thank yourself and other male members who spoke out consistently and in unison against the idiotic trend this website was creating by egging on these female serial first date fraudsters.

    This site is toast if it does not post semi-sensible articles, such as, this one.

    Its about time this site stop calling female members as attractive members. Most of them are not attractive at all and are still demandimg hundreds of dollars for the “pleasure” of their freaking useless company.

    • The Truth says:

      @Josh. Thank you for your kind words towards me. I always read your comments. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

      It’s time for everyone to be realistic. The $500 date article was very upsetting to me. It’s time to stop dreaming in fantasy land and live in the real world.

    • Linda says:

      Josh, I will go out with anyone anytime, and just about anywhere. It is a circus on this site, and doesn’t everyone love the circus ? That word useless only applies when there is no honesty.

      • Marie says:

        I couldn’t agree more. I find that the more offers that I accept, the fewer dates I go on. If someone doesn’t want to date me, then why accept the offer? It’s frustrating when good faith efforts are placed forward and the other member doesn’t bother to show…

    • Josh says:

      @The Truth

      This site could be a goldmine for men if the first date fraudsters were not proactively and idiotically egged on by this site.

      The women on this site lack the “gorgeousness” factor. I think only 5%-10% could be called gorgeous or even really beautiful. The others are just regular every-day woman. More power to them to try to find a non-deadbeat date here.

      There is nothing wrong with that. Who wants to deal with xbox playing junkies who expect their women to work to bring home the bacon to eat while playing that damn steam.

      But when these women read idiotic articles,such as, the one related to $500 dates, and the fake $130 average bid, then they start hallucinating that they may make good money for their deadbeat xbox playing junkie boyfriend.

      Keep your bids lower than $100. Screen, screen, screen the ones in the $80-$100 range. These are borderline fraudsters.

      Use your discretion with those in the $50-$80 range.

      Go on date with those on $50 or less.

      Report the results.

      • I’m not going to comment on how gorgeous I am, lol, i havent modelled in a few years but I do think I have a lot to offer a man, and am honestly sick to death of giving all I am to men who take and offer nothing in return. I cook I clean I massage I really love to keep a man happy, and then find myself alone, and drained!

        For someone like myself however, it costs me more then $100 to go on a date. To start with, with a disabled child I need to pay $33 an hour for babysitters, and usually need to travel into Sydney – so for a 3 hour date I need a sitter for 5 hours, and am paying $165. Add to that travel costs, waxing etc incase things become intimate, (yes i have been known to sleep with men quickly, call me what you choose, its important to me that the… chemistry is there) and even if I wear an old dress and shoes, new stockings and nails done are a must in my book for a first date, and before I know it its costing me a few hundred dollars.

        Now I understand that is MY problem, and that without the finances to cover these costs, I simply can’t date! Its too high a risk i am spending too much money, on nothing! That is why I wouldn’t post on a normal dating site. If its left up to me to cover it all, thats FAIR but it also means i simply wouldnt date, At All. its not worth rhe risk.
        Here, men can decide if they want to take a chance on me or not – men who can afford to take a chance. My profile makes it clear I don’t expect gifts or fancy dinners, I would be happy with a burger on the beach, but its entirely up to you if its worth paying the costs to get me out of the house to begin with!

        I understand how many fakes and gold diggers are on sites like this, but I feel its unfair to have a site like this and then insist that anyone asking sums over $100 is fake – because I’m not. I also think this attitude about “useless company” and reducing us to how beautiful we are actually contradicts what is being said about wanting genuine girls – if you want a lady who is more then a pretty face who you are paying to sit across from, stop looking at it like “they’re not that pretty and not worth paying that much”. Think instead “after carefully reading her profile and looking at her pictures I think we could be a good match. She needs me to pay the costs to get her out of the house the first time, or it could cost her a fortune to meet a total stranger who may not like her in the end or vice versa, I am/am not confident enough of our match to take that risk”.

        It might also help to keep in mind for those of us who are nervous about mistreated/used/hurt/taken advantage of in all sorts of relationships and are here so we can at least rid ourselves of the financial risk involved in a first date, we are going to feel more confident and happy knowing you haven’t put us down saying “you’re only Worth ‘this much’”

        And lastly I would love to be with a man who thinks IM special, IM amazing, puts ME on a pedistal. I don’t wants gifts or bills paid or phone bought as I’ve seen some suggest, that’s not what I mean. But I’d love to meet a man who says simply “you’re worth me taking a risk” instead of “are you good enough for me”.

        I feel there needs to be more rules about how full a profile should be. All I get is a request to meet for $100 and a profile that says “relaxed guy looking for open minded girl” or something. NO I am not willing to risk hundreds of dollars on men I know nothing about. If you’re offering less then a date would cost a woman, give her a reason to say yes, at least give her an idea of who you are in your profile!

  3. Josh says:

    “Attractive members let $75 million slip through their fingertips last year. That’s right, over $75 million.

    More than half a million date bids were denied or ignored in 2013.”

    Am I reading this correctly?

    If I were to average out $75,000,000 over 500,000 denied bids in 2013, then the number is $150 per denied bid. What that means is that if there were some bids at $100, $50 or less then there were also other bids at $200, $250 or more.


    Are these not-so-attractive idiotic women living in some bizarro fantasyland where they think that they should be getting more than $150, $200 and $250 just for a freaking date?


    • Perhaps some didn’t like the men offering…. This assumption we only say no because of the amount offered is slightly insulting. How many of those were sent by men over 50 to 20 year old women? How many by people from different lifestyles/religions that a girl may not feel she could adapt to? How often because of lack of attraction?

      Your attitude is a little upsetting

    • And to talk about us like that “not so attractive bizarro women” is quite rude. I understand there are scammers here and women you may not be attracted to, but you really seem to look down on us girls here and I wonder why you’re not on a different dating site if you think of us like that. I’m actually very close to tears and considering closing my account. One reason i came here to AVOID the kind of men who look at women that way and put them down. In my head this site would be full of men with love and respect for women, that’s why they feel its worth helping with costs to get a chance to showcase themselves. Instead I’ve found… This. It’s really upset me.

      • bbman says:

        Hey there, SweetLadyBlue, please don’t let one jerk ruin the site for you. I am sad that his crude comments almost brought you to tears. I hope you can ignore those guys, just like us guys have to ignore the few inevitable scammers and escorts on the site, and just keep searching for the right partner. There are real, genuine and caring people on the site.

  4. DarkHorseSD says:

    Was it during the $500 article that WYP trumped up the $130 average, and now its a little over $100?

    Very good looking girls can get $200 in NYC pretty frequently.

    • The Truth says:

      Most women on here don’t live in New York City and are not very good looking.

      It’s time to be realistic.

  5. badou njaay says:

    hi i m a young boy guy african and i need help to out my continent.because i have lot of problem

  6. Cash says:

    Stop whining truth, josh and others. I love high bids…the higher the better because that ensures motivation. It also gives ladies a chance to weed out the studs from the duds. I always accept whatever is asked.

    And Ladies!! Please keep your bids where you would be looking forward to the date. Remember if a guy cannot give you 250 or 500 for the first few dates, he probably will not be able to afford a 1500-2000/monthly allowance.

    • EMMALINE says:


  7. Josh says:


    “Was it during the $500 article that WYP trumped up the $130 average, and now its a little over $100?”

    I noted that as well. Actually the uproar created by the male members since that stupid article has caused the girls to significantly lower their bids. Some of them are still living in their la la lands, but who gives a f**k about them.

    “Very good looking girls can get $200 in NYC pretty frequently.”

    “Very good looking girls” living in NYC, LA, SFO, etc., should and must get $200. They are “Very good looking girls” and the rent is so damn high in those cities.

    However, average looking girls living in Boondocks, Arkansas must take a reality pill before sending those damn $250 offers.

  8. Josh says:

    I do have good news. It could be a fluke but after spending 100 credits ($50) on 6 different girls, I was able to bed one, and hopefully going to the second date again soon with another one.

    The devil is in the details. None of these women were offered more than $100. The one I bed accepted $50. The one I am going to the second date with is less than $50.

    So I am progressively reducing my highest bid, and screening these women like crazy even after accepting any level of bid. Actually, I will go to dates with girls at $50 or less.

    There is are three main reasons for that. First, it is not a whole lot of money. Second, those demanding lower amounts have some shame left in them to not try to make free money from a random man they don’t even know from Adam.

    These women are not doing it for serial first date frauds, as it will take aweful lots of dates to make a decent monthly income. They are basically screening out deadbeat men. And THAT is the correct use of this site.

    Anything above $50 gets serious screening and what I am finding out is that the fake ones stop responding at some point because they complain that I am “coming on too strong.” Maybe I am turning away some good women, but I’d rather lose a few good women than waste all my money on the serial first date fraudsters.

    I will have more to say when I do have the second date with the new girl.

    • The Mirror says:

      “I was able to bed one”

      Well, I hope you don’t allow others to speak of your mom or sister like that.

      It’s funny how guys can complain about women being fraudsters, but then turn around and treat a woman like she’s a plastic bag, with a new one ready to be pulled from the roll.

    • The Truth says:

      @josh. Teach me more, o’ great master. Just kidding. Lots of good information and good opinions in what you are saying. Thank you.

    • Josh says:

      Thanks The Truth.

      You don’t know how much such words of appreciation mean to me that my efforts are being appreciated by others in the same boat as I was/am.

    • You’re the first date fraud! You are dating numerous girls seeing who you can get into bed cheaply, then moving on – “I actually managed to bed one”

  9. DarkHorseSD says:

    The $200 girls in NYC end up being serial date frauds and they counter or initiate for $300 too.

    I hope josh is on to something with the lower bids. I’m afraid to go low because I’ve seen it be just credits wasted on never meets.

    In the end its easier to use SA’s all you can eat system. WYP is end result of taking everything a man could possibly do wrong using SA and turning it into its own dating site.

  10. Josh says:


    Where I am from, there are not many women on SA. I am not into long distance arrangements yet.

    WYP has plenty of women who would never be on SA. They are not as pretty as the ones on SA but some of them are really cute at least in pictures.

    So I don’t mind spending $5-$10 worth of credits to unlock communication with any of them since I know that I will screen them good. ;)

  11. Josh says:


    Where I am from, there are not many women on SA. I am not into long distance arrangements yet.

    WYP has plenty of women who would never be on SA. They are not as pretty as the ones on SA but some of them are really cute at least in pictures.

    So I don’t mind spending $5-$10 worth of credits to unlock communication with any of them since I know that I will screen them good.

  12. David says:

    I won’t go above $50 anymore. Every single one of the higher priced dates was a serial date fraudster.
    I usually spend a couple hundred on a first date for dinner and drinks. I always pick up the ladies extras too like the parking and valet.
    I am not here to provide income for this sites members. So if they want more they are welcome to fish for some other guy…..

  13. DarkHorseSD says:

    It has been fairly impractical in NYC where the bids are so high that the fee just to communicate becomes $20+, then the date costs 50% more than elsewhere and the date fee is $200 plus. You spend $400-600 to have a quality date, $250-300 to meet for coffee.

    That said, I’m noticing offers coming in at lower fees now while I have not tried to get a date lately. Maybe something is happening.

    A $50 cancelled after 2 days pending – strange and impetuous. I have a new $100 I have not pursued.

  14. The Truth says:

    The women on SA seem to be almost as bad. Most of them want you to take them shopping, go to dinner, and give them money AND alot of them have boyfriends. In return, they say they will activity partner (spending more money on WHAT THEY want to do), conversation pal (younger women’s intellect isn’t worth paying for), or work dinner date (hey guys here is a girl that looks nice-I spend tons of money so she can pretend to like me in front of you). NOT GOING TO WORK WITH ME!

    Time for things to get real. There are more and more girls on these sites everyday. If someone wants to not be this princess crap, and be real, I will be very good in many ways to the right girl.

    The movie “Pretty Woman” is just a movie, it’s about as real as “Harry Potter” or “Star Wars”. Also Anna Nicole Smith was banging a dude in his mid 80s who was in the last little bit of life. She was a Playboy playmate and famous model.

    Time for women to get real…..

    • David says:

      I got one that was married. We went out a few times before I figured it out. Then she wanted help getting away from her husband.
      I think she wanted me to pay for that too.

      • DarkHorseSD says:

        That’s one of the better ones. I got a separating with under two year old, has to have a $3000+ apt, nanny, car fare, etc, etc. plus money for the divorce lawyer.

        Basically a $10K/mo and up budget.

        Nothing special about her either.

        • The Truth says:

          Did you laugh in her face?

        • David says:

          Unbelievable. These girls are really unbelievable. It seems they are drawn to this site like moths to fire.
          I am sure there have to be some good ones here but the bad ones sure spoil it for everyone.
          So sad, such a brilliant idea.
          Tried the Carrot site, some of the same ladies are there. Since it’s not income based they don’t even check in. That one is going to sink fast.

  15. dave says:

    Well, most women will not date you if they think you’re not attractive…even if you offer $200. Which his why WYP is not that different from Match or OKC. The only difference is that your wallet is quite a bit lighter after the date.

    Yes, about 70% of the women on WYP are not attractive. They are entitled and think that they deserve $500 to go on a 2 hour date, while guys on here would not want to pay more than $50 for the whole evening. There is a huge disconnect, which is why the site is not working that well for most members.

    To the guys – if you want to get laid, you’re not going to get it by offering money. If you want to do it that way, just buy yourself a hooker (much cheaper). The women on WYP want to get paid for a date without having sex. If you’re a guy in NYC spending $600 on a date with one of these women, I feel really sorry for you.

  16. dani says:

    thanks.. I tend to hope the guys really would make the offer they intend to make. Example: He wanted to spoil me and his offer said so. Then he did just that.

    So if you WANT to spoil the girl you are meeting, just be up front. That’s #1. And guys, don’t pretend to be entitled to anything. You’re coming to us, so stop acting like you are alpha ANYTHING.

  17. Josh says:

    Guys. I promised you to report on my findings with the second date that was supposed to happen Tuesday. I will make it short and bitter because someone is waiting for me in bed. LOL!

    It seems that this girl has vanished as well. I am done with this fucking site. I will use up my credits and call quitz.

    More details when I have time.


  18. Josh says:


    “That said, I’m noticing offers coming in at lower fees now while I have not tried to get a date lately. Maybe something is happening.”

    This site started with a novel idea but was hijacked by fraudster women who are interested in paid first dates only. The site does not care if men are being scammed because it makes money by selling credits.

    Offers are lower now because of the uproar created by yours truly, David, The Truth and others when the stupid article egging women to charge $500/date was posted on this site.

    THAT article was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and was the “jump the shark” moment for the ever-rising first date fees. LOL!

    And as you can see this site is now telling women to be reasonable in their expectations. What we really need is a way to weed out fraudsters so that the men have at least a 50/50 chance of subsequent dates with the same woman who they paid the first date fee to.

    I doubt that this site has any intention to eliminate or even reduce fraud. Therefore I am calling it quitz after my credits are used up.

    • The Truth says:

      Thank you for the mention. $500 is way too much for a date, atleast where I live. $500 take home is more than most people earn here in a week.

      I don’t mind helping someone out. I am willing to pay someone each date/time but $500 is unreasonable.

      And I also value a women’s inner beauty and how she treats me over looks.

  19. Josh says:

    All of the articles on this site are written as if they are addressing honest women who are merely trying to get compensated for their date expenses while trying to find their Mr. Right.

    Snap out of it. I repeat…SNAP THE F***KING OUT OF IT. Ninety percent or more women here are serial first date fraudsters. Address them to get the hell out of here. It will reduce the fee collection for a while but will build a solid and loyal male customer base to keep the site going.

    No business, I repeat NO F***KING BUSINESS can sustain this level of sustain fraud forever.

    • DarkHorseSD says:

      Josh, suckers are born every minute. Very few men can penetrate the flaws of this site merely with their minds.

      • And how are we supposed to work out the genuine men who want to get to know us and the ones talking about us like this? Like we are just dumb bitches made for sex, and aren’t even pretty enough or our company is useless etc… I’m really upset. Men who are taking lots of girls on dates and trying to get all of them in bed, and men who complain about a girl setting her own worth instead of being measured up like a horse that’s being sold… How do I find a Real Man on a site like this? It’s not easy for us girls with men with bad attitudes and lies around every corner. I feel so stupid for thinking this would be a site with men who like and respect women. It may as well be CL with the class and attitudes shown here :(

    • The Truth says:

      I don’t think women are first date fraudsters on here per se, they just want quick cash. As long as a guy is paying, they will do most things. The site it just a cash grab for women.

  20. David says:

    Yes if we are dumb enough to pay them without question based only on how they look.
    If they won’t talk before the date run don’t walk, sure sign that they have no interest in who you are.

  21. Dan says:

    Why do you only approve comments from a handful of people? What about everyone else? I’ve talked to 3 other people as well and they all say you never approve their comments.

  22. Josh says:

    Additional update on the girl who was supposed to meet me for the second date. She keeps on contacting me for more money to enabale her to meet me but does not go for the alternatives I suggest.

    So the theme is I have X problems, which need to be resolved before I can meet. So send the money. My conter proposal has been that if you meet me then l will resolve the issues and then some.

    Response is always. OK I will let you know.

  23. victoriamodest says:

    well i didnt have any offer and i still didnt talk anyone of a date or something like this… i use this site few months already and no offerts to be honest ill go out without any pay only if i know hes a good guy…

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