Stop Groundhog Day-ting
  • Posted Feb 2, 2015
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In the cult-classic film Groundhog Day, Phil Connors (Bill Murray) relives the same day over and over and over again in the backwater town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Originally there to cover the groundhog’s meteorological prediction for his TV station, Phil ends up spending dozens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of years reliving February 2nd until he can get his inner self to realize his full potential as a person.

Fortunately, most of us aren’t stuck in a glitch in the space-time continuum, but Groundhog Day can teach a valuable lesson about your dating life and help you understand the rewards and the challenges of turning over a new leaf.

In fact, for many of us, Groundhog Day is a mirror on our own repetitive dating faux pas.

Groundhog Day Pull Quote Phil Connors

Does This Sound Familiar?

Oftentimes, we ignore the value of ourselves and solely focus on pre-set expectations, perspective, and evaluations  of others. As a result, we become people-pleasers and spend all of our time attempting to emulate the perfect person that we believe our opposite numbers is looking for.

How Does This Impact A Relationship?

For starters, finding a meaningful relationship playing the part of a “people pleaser” can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. Should you manage to successfully attract your desired someone, an overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction will probably soon develop. You will find yourself reliving the same first dates over and over again. The same restaurants, servers, drink and food order. Ultimately, the same empty feeling when you lay your head down to sleep at night.

Why Is This?

You have not actually managed to attract someone to you; you’ve managed to attract them to a façade. All your time and energy is spent trying to have as much in common as possible, regardless of whether or not it interests you. You’re saying and doing things that you believe he/she wants to hear/do. Not only that, but all of the things you “have in common” will mostly be the interests of the other party.

A person has been projected that doesn’t actually exist.

Groundhog Day Pull Quote 2 Phil Connors

What’s The Solution?

The solution is simple: invest more energy in yourself.

Spend time getting to know who you are, what you enjoy, and what makes you tick. Build up your value as a person by participating in activities and hobbies that you find enjoyable. Not only will this add a healthy boost of self-confidence, but you’ll also be more interesting as a person overall. Added bonus: it will provide a ton of new date ideas/options!

There will be less of a need to emulate and people-please because you have a greater sense of self. You’ll be happier, more confident, and people will be drawn to you.

If this lesson learned can pull/dig Bill Murray out of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, it can certainly get you out of the relationship rut. So, get out there and set a dinner reservation for one. It’s time you got to know yourself a little better.

Is six more weeks of bad dating ahead for you?

 

2 Responses to “Stop Groundhog Day-ting”

  1. Mike Murphy says:

    Hey there –

    It’s true that dating tends to follow a format for each of us. Generally, that format is established in the first few dates we have. Women, or better yet, girls, when we first start dating generally teach men what it takes to get a ‘date’. Then we learn advanced techniques, IE things we have to say and do to get to the holy grail. That being said, I believe there to be a precedence for modification to all of our original learned styles, but I don’t believe we will ever unlearn our basic mannerisms because we know that got us to our goal at least once. I fully believe that WYP is a modification of most of our behaviors, but still a basic extension of our core values. Men and women are going to play this game over and over, and even though we believe the rules are changing if we look at the ever-present cycles those cycles are going to remain the same. I ‘caught’ my first woman just by being a good guy, and generally a much better choice as a person than those around me. It was a very small social group, and it wasn’t hard to stand out. :) – So, for me, while this site is interesting, and kind of fun, the real fact here is and I’ve even posted this on my profile:

    Here is how I see this thing working. I enjoy going out on dates. I’m looking for serious, not a roll in the hay. I’m going to take you somewhere nice, where is more about what kinds of things we enjoy about a dinning experience. I’m buying, I’ve too much pride to let you pay, all you need for the first date is ID so we can go whever we want.

    Offers are, to me, just proof that I like your profile and look. I dont see the offer as something to make you hang with someone your not attracted to. If your not remotely attracted, best of luck, if you want to be princess for a night, lets go out. If we go out, I’ll assume your looking for a friend that eventually could be more. I’m not a FWB, NSA, Weed Token Seattlite. I’m classier than that.

    I think that is pretty honest. But it is a open face attempt at being a safer option than most guys, which, in truth, does put me at a disadvantage. (Just so you guys out there banging the chicks serially on one night stands know, you do get more than those of us that present as a safer option. Mostly because we safer options are in fact, safer and not as exciting.) I’m always seen as the safer option, till she tests that theory. LOL –

    Personally, I put up 5.00 to 20.00 bids, for that, all I ensure is that she reads the profile. I can’t see anyone serially dating for 5.00 or even 20.00. But if she reads that profile and is genuenly interested, I’m good to go. I’m out 20.00, I could go on 1000 dates at 20 bucks a shot if I had too. I girl that I have to induce into a date for 100.00 isn’t interested ENOUGH in me, so I have no desire to see her. The scoop here guys is that if you want to get the prices into the realm of reasonability, then make reasonable offers. If you want to cover babysitting, which is reasonable, offer 49.00, that will cover the baby sitter for a night out. What is the point in offering more?

    Sure, there are a ton of women out there that have 100′s or 1000′s of offers, but the fact is, unless someone is using this site as an income generator, they aren’t making their date decision based on your 100, 200, 300 or even 100000000 offer. Many of these women aren’t going to friend zone you on as of the first date no matter what the remuneration is. Deal with it. LOL – Be a friend. Keep your offers under the 50.00 cap. you’ll get much better quality, and much happier dates. You’ll also be in the realm of sustainable.

    And before you make a poor assumption, I won’t tell you how much I make, it doesn’t matter, but lets say, I’m a bit better than a 5%er. The only reason I mention that is that in a discussion about this site, someone said that I only feel the way I do because I don’t make enough to play on the same field as some others. The fact is, I actually can play on that field, but just like being a sugar daddy, when money becomes a visible component, it brings in the veracity of the relationship into question. I’ve dated some very very hot women, who each came on to me, and they all left when they found out that I’m not an ATM machine. If you want to spend your $$ dating vacuous women, they are out there, and they will try to bleed you dry, this reply is really aimed at those that want a heart connection, just just a penial deflation tool, or want to rent or lease company.

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