Relationship Milestones: Is it Love or Lust?
  • Posted Jan 3, 2013
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Love is blind, but the same can be said about lust. That strong, physical attraction one feels at the beginning of a relationship can often be misinterpreted as something greater. As men, we are genetically programmed to reproduce. This is why we make rash decisions or engage in questionable relationships: sex.

Sex is powerful, and at times, a driving force. And it is the most common element among love and lust.

So how can one really tell the difference between simple infatuation and a potential storybook ending?

Ask yourself the following questions…

Do you prioritize her looks over everything else?

Do you habitually disregard/lose focus of conversations?

Do you only call her on weekends and/or late nights?

If you said yes to ONE of these questions, you have fallen in lust, not love. A man in lust believes that a woman’s beauty if her most important attribute. While beauty is valuable, it will never anchor a relationship. After all, one can only look at a girl for so long before they have to actually engage in meaningful conversation.

Let’s try some more…

Do get lost in conversations and kill time very easily?

Do you know how to make each other laugh?

Do you share common goals and interests?

Do you actively find reasons to hang out or spend time with her?

Has she met any of your family? Closest friends?

If you answered “yes” to the majority of these questions, then you are in love. A man in love values chemistry as much as physical beauty. After all, a great relationship is about two things: appreciating the similarities, and respecting the differences.


What are some other characteristics of love and lust?

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8 Responses to “Relationship Milestones: Is it Love or Lust?”

  1. Leroy says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome on this blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements, but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” section for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!

  2. Nathalie1955 says:

    First of all about definitions. What is “love”?
    According to Erich Fromm “love is act of WILL”.
    or “It is ACTIVE care about of well-being and development subject of love” (c)
    If somebody “declare LOVE” it is about responsibilities and commitments.
    (..” until death… blah-blah-blah ..”).
    Usually this type of is unconventional love . (as for me,everybody need to be loved “unconventionally”)
    and again, according to E.Fromm, only very small part of human population able (really) to love…

    “Lust”-it is something about s.c. “chemistry” (or desire, etc)..
    Sometimes both exist simultaneously (in the same time and place and the same people -and it is beautiful)
    “Art of Love”-title of book E.Fromm (antroposoph*)
    *Anthroposophy is a modern spiritual path that cherishes and respects the freedom of each individual, based on the writings and lectures of Rudolf Steiner.

  3. bobby the k says:

    Thanks for the great questions posted, LeRoy. I think they are really good guides.

    And nice points made about Fromm. I’ve read his book and it’s a great read.

    I had another date for the holidays. It was a lot of fun. I’ve pretty much enjoyed every date I’ve been on here. I feel very fortunate and am enjoying this site.

  4. Nichlole says:

    How does a female go about attracting offers on this site? I’ve had a few but they were all $100 or less

    • Robert says:

      Those are all “offers”. You’re asking how can you receive higher offers, but that might just be what the market says you’re going to get. Only you can decide if you can accept it.

  5. Dina says:

    Hi Nichlole,

    I’ve only been on here for a few days, and have gotten some good offers, although $80. I have been offered 50-500. Having good pictures and a great profile are critical. Showing men that you understand them is really important. Let me know if I can give you some pointers.


  6. APB says:

    How does a female go about attracting offers on this site? I’ve had a few but they were all $100 or less

    And what? You took them, right?

    A smart guy, which you probably would value, isn’t blowing $500 on a few hours with a woman. Guys who are well off are so because they don’t burn their money.

    From the guy POV, we don’t want to feel like we are paying your rent, so rejecting an offer that isn’t enough because you need nothing but $300+ dates to make rent isn’t attractive.

    We aren’t convinced you need $300 every time out to buy a wardrobe. I had a date initially ask for $300. She went for $150. She wore something in one her pics that was more than adequate even without getting a mani/pedi/hair did.

    Besides, “love don’t cost a thing” and “the best things in life are free”. Stop expecting the biggest baddest offer right off the bat, because it won’t last.

    I did have one that gave me a $75 offer, which is fair, but other things about her weren’t so desirable. Oh well.

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