Online Dating: Writing the First Message
  • Posted Sep 2, 2015
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression, especially when it comes to online dating. The Pew Research center reports one in 10 American adults have used dating apps and websites, but how can users ensure success when messaging a stranger online?

WhatsYourPrice pulled member data from the 500 most successful members to discover what tips and tricks singles are pulling to better communicate online. Results reveal a five-point formula to score more dates.


The Five Point First Message Formula

Three Sentences or Less

No one wants to take the time to read a lengthy letter from a stranger, yet sending just a word or simple sentence will hardly ever elicit a response. Keep the first message at three concise sentences.

Allude to Things Read in User’s Profile

Let the person of interest know that you’re genuinely interested. Read through their profile and get an idea of who they are and what they enjoy – make sure they seem like someone you’d like to match with.

Comment on Personality, Not Looks

In the era of swiping to find a match, it’s easy to focus on glossy eyes or Instagram-filtered photos, but leave most of the compliments for the first or second date. Instead, search for context clues; if someone has photos golfing or on an exotic vacation – bring this up as a topic of interest.

Less “I”s and more “you”s

Nobody enjoys engaging with someone who only talks about themselves, and that holds true when dating online. Focus the first message on your potential date, and gauge their response to begin discussing yourself.

End With A Question

Be sure to receive a response by closing your first message with a question. Keep it simple, allude to content read in the profile, and wait until you’ve received a response to ask for a first date.

 While there is a formula for the best openers, there are some sure to fail. WhatsYourPrice also pulled messages from the least successful profiles, and compiled the worst one-liners in a hilarious parody video titled “Online Dating: In Real Life.”


What tips do you recommend to ensure success?


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