Online Dating Profiles that DON’T Get Replies
  • Posted Jun 15, 2012
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When it comes to online dating, the first impression isn’t made at the dinner table of a lavish restaurant. Rather, in front of your very own computer.  If you succeed, she replies. If not? Well, at least you tried. But that’s the beauty of online dating: You have the time to send a well-articulated message without being put on the spot.  With that said, avoiding the following introductions will be the difference between gazing at a woman and staring at a computer screen.

The Top 5 Introductions to Avoid

Mr. Bland and Boring: “Hi, how are you?”

The Problem: This isn’t a check-out line—you’re trying to date the woman, not kill an awkward silence. Be more original and prove that you have a personality. While a message isn’t an actual physical

encounter, a quality introduction always leads to an actual date.

Mr. Bold and Brass: “Hey baby, here’s a picture of me shirtless. Wanna do it?”

The Problem: If you want to post pictures of your chiseled set of abs, more power to you—some women may appreciate the gesture. However, gym, tan, and laundry alone won’t get you a first date—especially if you go straight to the “sexting.” Then again, there’s an exception to every rule. Right, Snooki?

Just please, whatever you do, don’t take a picture “down there.” Only two outcomes arise: She freaks out and calls the cops, or she literally dies of laughter.

Mr. Mail Merger: “Hello there, you are very beautiful and seem like a nice person. Want to go out sometime? I’d love to take you out for dinner.”

The Problem: This isn’t fishing, gentlemen. When online dating, avoid using “copy” and “paste.” It may seem easier, but you’d be surprised at what an extra five minutes will do to any message. Remember, quality over quantity. You’re looking for home-runs, not hits. Needless to say, so are they.

Mr. Marry Me: “Excuse me, have I died and gone to heaven? Because you’re an angel! Please give me a chance—I will change your life. Can I introduce you to my mother? And yes, I LOVE children.”

The Problem: Slow down, tiger. Being affectionate in your message is respectable and often appreciated by women. However, being overtly affectionate is borderline desperate and creepy. When a woman wants to “get to know you,” she’s not asking for the number of kids you want. Save the serious talks for after the first date.

Mr. Money Bags: “I’m a CEO, I’m very wealthy, and I want you. How much will it take for you to take care of me?

The Problem: Women are attracted to power, seek a sense of security, and especially love being indulged. However, they never want to feel objectified. It’s completely fine to state your success—in fact, it’s encouraged on our website. Just don’t let it define you as a person. If you combine this respectable quality with a personable approach, you’ll be on the right track to more replies.



Have you ever encountered these types of people? What other personalities do you avoid when replying to messages?

How can men improve their chances of getting a reply?


What works best when introducing yourself through messaging?


49 Responses to “Online Dating Profiles that DON’T Get Replies”

  1. Blue says:

    Good ones!! I especially glad you put the one about the shirtless guys in there. While it may work in gay dating for men, I see it as more of a red flag than anything. The copy/paste – oh my, that’s about 90% of them. So boring. I don’t know if guys realize that these 5 are some of the reasons they are the ones paying traditionally.

  2. Maaria says:

    A good habit is always to reply!

  3. bobby the K says:

    Excellent advice. Definite learning curve for myself. I used to have incredible dating anxiety before using this site, and with each date I get better and better. Better late than never, right?

    For all the inevitable foul ups, I try to stick to being genuine. I don’t know if that works. Then afterwards I read more books.

    It would be nice if you could ask the woman how you might improve if she doesn’t want to date anymore.

  4. bobby the K says:

    About the type of reply, they should also add “Timing is inconvenient”. There are women who I would have replied to, but the only options for the reply seem to be negative.

  5. Saffron says:

    One major turn-off would be crude comments about a woman’s appearance. I am on an adult social network site (like Facebook, but NC-17), and I do have pictures of myself on that site in a bra, typically showing off a new one I’m happy about. Far too many people leave comments along the lines of “cute bra, but I bet you look better without it.” I don’t even respond to those people – I just block them.

  6. Sophie says:

    The problem with what’s your price is the lack of being able to have a quick chat with someone before a date offer.

    Seeking arrangement is good for assessing messages. I think the best thing is for guys just to be themselves. That comes over much better than constricting a message to sound like someone you are not.

    As for pics, a guy in a nice suit or clean jeans….yummy!

  7. Sophie says:

    Can mods change constricting to constructing in my last message. iPhone changed it lol

  8. Lore says:

    I wish there was an option, if someone replies back to far, that I can offer to drive to their area or 1/2 way.

  9. Lore says:

    I also wish they get rid of suggesting only $5-$10 dates, cause that won’t even cover my gas. I would never ever accept such a low offer, and honestly I’m insulted by it.

  10. sheena says:

    The shirtless pics are gross. I dont even reply to those guys.. i hate the “copy/paste” because its so insincere.. i hate the young guys who feel i owe them sex because they are young & dont want to admit to “paying for it”.. hate the posers who think they can afford what they really want but really cant.. hate the picture collectors with no intention of meeting

  11. Saffron says:

    I have one more pointer: please, PLEASE use proper spelling and grammar. Few thinhs turn a lady off more than being unable to decipher your message, whether it be from a garbled “txt tlk” message, or just plain laziness. Web browsers and cell phones have spell check, so please make sure you utilize this valuable tool.

  12. FLFunSB says:

    Yes I hate the copy and paste guys. I mean its not to hard to just say a few sentences. Shirts and rude guys get blocked.


  13. mystic says:

    I’m so over the grammar to the point where if I have to decode the message it just gets deleted. I mean how can I take you seriously that you are a professional making money when you can’t learn how to properly spell and make simple sentences to communicate wanting to go out with me?

  14. Angel says:

    I’m no cheap-o by any means, but when a girl counter offers with $200 that’s an automatic reject for me. I’m paying for the chance of getting to know you and a date, not to pay your car note for the month. Whenever I get a counter offer that ridiculous it just makes me feel like I’ll never really have an honest, open minded chance ’cause she’s just going on dates because she wants a new pair of shoes and really won’t take the date seriously.

  15. blankenship says:

    I just had a date and I was quite creative. It was a really nice date and the woman was great company.

    But there’s one thing that annoys me more than anything on women’s profiles, and that’s the “Be creative” comment.

    Anyone know why I find it annoying? I’m trying to figure it out even though I’m a very creative artistic type. It just really annoys me.

  16. chris says:

    Why do guys complain when the whole site is about offering money? I do not see how 200 is loads of money. If one has a hatd time parting with that then one can not afford a lady friend.

  17. bobby the K says:

    I agree. The guys shouldn’t complain, just reject and be done with. If you can afford it, take it.

    I just rejected a real offer, not a wink. The only choices that could come close to why I rejected were, “Not enough info” and “Not interested”.

    I just had had a date, which is why I rejected. None of the descriptions fit. They should add “Other, but I liked your profile.” or something like that to show you might be interested later.

  18. bobby the K says:

    Also, I think to get new people on this site, they should advertise in City Papers. That’s a good target and is how I found this site.

  19. wiscman039 says:

    I have found that if you truly read someone’s profile you always have a potential connection. I believe if you are genuine and sincere, treat her like a lady, and start off with friendship in mind, your expectations are more in line and you are apt to have a great first date. I also have a firm policy of no kissing on the first date. Yes, strange for a man to have that, but it eliminates the option and also avoids tension. My experience is that few people actually listen and ask questions. I try and ask as many questions as possible because I am interested and women generally find that to be attractive.

    I also don’t mind paying. I am 40 and the girls I see are mid to upper 20s and are in a different placew in life than I am. If I can meet a new friend and help out what’s the harm? The upside for me is a beautiful young lady on my arm who feels good about herself for an evening.

    Drop the silly opening lines. Make your first sentence a genuine question. Show her you are interested in learning about people in your profile. Its amazing how much women love genuine sincerity.

    As far as the “be creative”. Its annoying to most guys because the girls are telling us “you have to pay AND you have to entertain me”. To me, that’s what I want. I plan my dates and they are usually quite simple, but they require major interaction. I had a date two weeks ago and all we did was have appetizers and played pool for three hours. How lucky am I? I had three hours of constant contact as I taught her how to play pool. Don’t do movies or just dinner….find something that’s interactive or has a goal requiring you to work together.

    Sorry its so wordy and I hope someone can use this. 🙂

  20. sune says:

    hahahahahaha… you people making me Laugh all your comment, when you all get a chance, read all through it. what you been saying it?
    life is tooo short. lets have date and have fun. fun. that’s all what I have to say. good luck to all of you!!! and stop, complaint. just do it with your pleasure!!!

  21. chris says:

    I have noticed when i travel some areas have more people serious about meeting in person and some areas are just flacky types!

  22. Kitten says:

    Here’s a tip for men:
    Dont talk about your money, or crazy parties all the time, ask a few questions, and answer them as well, show the ladies that youre not just some empty extravagent jerk. Youd be surprised how positively women respond to casual and simple conversation.

  23. blankenship says:

    Great improvement on the blog. Can you target models again like when you first started? I’ll pay more. 🙂

  24. Maaria says:

    I don´t like at all this blog´s style. Like a headline is directly blaming members, who have contacted their match! That maybe their text´s style isn´t good etc. They are not the problem, the problem is another person, who doesn´t respect another members in this site to reply. It is so great to contact, when there are members, who don´t do anything after the match and I am talking about especially men! I am myself a woman and thought that a woman need to contact a male match first, because of it was so in instructions, I wrote myself three times quite long and very nice, personal email and only two so called “gentleman” from three replied to me. It hurted a lot! Men have hurted me in common in this site more than anywhere else! Sending ridiculos low offers etc. for a woman almost 10 in a photo rating. I don´t think that I am the problem, I have over ten years experience in dating sites, so know a lot what to write. There are a lot of not friendly men in this site, they actually play with women and enjoy it, this site allows that. Actually so called generous members look very “disabled” to travel too to meet a lady somewhere else than near them, they are something else than generous, I got from a traditional dating site dating requests in my homecountry (they would have traveled here by an airplace) and on WYP? Nothing. LOL, can only laugh, because of these men are actully a joke.

  25. bobby the k says:

    Hey don’t feel bad. I just had a date with a woman at a nice French restaurant. I had a blast. Keep trying.

  26. FLFunSB says:

    I agree with Maaria about making contact. I don’t understand why some men make an offer than never reply. :-/ I mean I would say I’m a 8-9 but the guys tell me I’m a 10. I have had tons of offers and atleast 6-7 dont reply. I block them so they cant see my pictures (Im hoping lol).

    @Bobby the k or Chris care to look me up and tell me what you think of my profile. I enjoy criticism, its the only true way to make yourself better. 🙂

  27. bobby the k says:

    Suggestion for the advanced searches. The list of previous searches should show also the city you searched in. It only shows the time and date of the search and so it’s not easy to determine a previous search.

  28. Candybar says:

    My only question is being a african americam woman who has 3 degrees very pretty nice body tiny waist no children, drive a range rover has a good job and have trouble on this site, as far as getting any responses at all! I dont get any interaction, i date outside my race so it has been very hard to find white mwn that date black women! i only been a member for about 2months. I have 100 rejects and im like wow they need to give suggestions on who dates interraciallly so people can know who to contact i dont like winking at every white man hoping to hit the mark! I feel i need to know why im rejected and can they delete therejections it looks aweful on my page a constant reminder i got rejected by a bunch of morons who dont know their ass from their face! I just need some guidance on how to use the site more effectively!

  29. Candybar says:

    not to mention Im starting to wonder is the site designed only for white women because once again no response come on whenever i go out I cannot get the men to leave me alone and all of my exboyfriends have always had lots and lots of money i never dated anybody who wasnt wealthy or had a job making 6 figures i just dont get why onthis site its a problem getting any reactions at all its kinda od disgusting! CAN ANY BLACK FEMALES Respond to tell me they got some offers dates etc. anybody can repsond but i would especially likento hear from black women its like alll the advertsiing is white females and whte men no pretty black girls and you bet itssome pretty black girls justv like it is white girls

    • Lana Boo says:

      Yes, it actually hasn’t been that hard for me to find good dates every now and then 🙂 Plus, all the guys I went out with so far have been white. I think next week I should be going on my 8th date since I’ve been using my site. I have also never gotten less than $100 per date and it has been going pretty well for me 🙂 I don’t really know how I do it, but whatever it is it’s working. It might have something to do with what kinds of pictures I selected or what I say in the “about me” section of my profile.

    • N2deep says:

      @Candybar,Im guessing it has to do with your ad,pics,discription or the region in which your dating. As for me,white male age 40 who grew up in the bayarea ca. Even though Ca is known for its acceptance with interracial relationshiops but in comparison to the genders its been less an issue for a black guy to date a white girl by black men but but it always been a huge issue for a black girl to date a white guy by blacks,If a black girl dated a white guy the black guys would put so much pressure on the black girl that it just wasnt worth the headache so they stayed dating within their race. This is my honest perception on the matter. Ive always liked and dated outside my race and its only with age ive noticed its much easier getting looks,smiles,dates with black women. Its as if theve said this is my life and im gonna date whomever i choose.I feel things have changed alot in the last 20 years but its still think in this situation its probably still hard for white guys to date black girls as a teenager to mid 20’s. Anyother race much easier. Hope this helps you Candybar. What do you think about my perception? If your local id love a date and discuss in person over dinner:)

      • N2deep says:

        I appologize for the typos etc.I didnt proof read my response before sent it And not because im lazy rather im just tired..Good luck!

  30. your_hungarian says:

    Some dates have been good and some not so.. I am still seeing a few I met on here so I can not complain. Opening lines? I generally comment about something I see in the picture.. like great smile, or the dress you are wearing really looks good on you .. and etc. MY longer Biography IS cut-n-past though.. after all, it is not going to change LOL. Total honesty works for me too, since I am trying to find a good match, I don’t want to have to rectify lies later on if we hit it off and see more of each other. I follow the recommendations and provide the fees up front at the beginning. If she takes off then it is better that we know right away. I have a friend (lady) that is always saying she does not get the fee at all. she is too shy to ask for it when here date shows up.. ladies ..don’t be shy.. and if the men are constantly pushing for sex.. well.. its always ladies choice.. just remember that.

  31. blankenship says:

    i’ve gone out with a black woman on here and I’m white. It was a great date. I’ll probably go out again in the future.

    Brandon, I think you should advertise again like you did when you started the site towards really super hot beautiful women, like with that guy sitting at the table with that line of women in front of him. I think super hot beautiful women are competitive, and more would join, and that would attract even more generous men, and more dates. Nothing against the medium generous men and medium beautiful women on this site(I’m one of them), but I’d imagine there are guys out there who want to pay a higher price once in a while for super attractive women on this site. When you’re paying for a date, you want something out of the ordinary.

    I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone.

  32. ifyougotit says:

    I think a man offering a girl under $200 bucks is an insult period. You want an attractive women and take her out… her time is important, and just the fact it cost money to look good, pay for an outfit to come see you.. EVERYTHING… if you got it.. why complain… And the fact you are on this site… doesnt make sense at all.

  33. agre8tguy says:

    My question is why I am unable to find a local Woman who wants a LTR, any women around ask for a sugar daddy, mutual benefits, ect. Where did true love go? I find many women asking for someone real, I then respond & never hear back!
    I own my own business, am a Christian, I treat others the way I would want to be treated,
    For those wanting only sex, there are sites for that, so where do I meet a Woman to spend forever with?
    Here is a longshot: my name is charlieboy2040 found on uwho, everyone knows where this common place is.
    Now lets see if I am censored for honestly trying. 🙂

  34. arealcad says:

    Include a reference to the potential dates’ profile in the first communication.
    It shows that some effort has been made.

    BTW – you know what’s really annoying? Getting a first response like this:

    “wats up”

    I don’t even make an effort to set up a date if I read that crap and I blew through some credits.

  35. sabaca says:

    I dont mine paying ,but most of these girls want the cash and run. Some can care less about the dinner .They sit there with these fake smiles and counting the mintues to get out. They have no intention to see you again young or old. I had a few that want thosand to see me again ! The ones I met are not really into any thing just the old buck..
    I’m not a stiff , i respect them treat them nice and they can care less.Move on to the next sucker.Some want to know your strory you ask them theres zero…

    This is a good site to throw good money away !!

  36. Al says:

    If there will not be a guy version of this, alI want to add is that escorts need to get lost. For a good while, that’s was all that winked me and they are at least half my winks on this site.

    Heck, I got a 2nd wink from a chick from Minnesota and I am in TX. I clearly state that I do not deal with anyone outside of Houston metro, so I guess without an option allowing her to tell me she is going to be in town, she can’t tell me she’s hanging here for some time. Somehow, I just think she can’t read and thinks I would just buy her a plane ticket here…sure.

    The one date I went on was with a gal who was nice enough, though I thought her $300 initial offer was a joke (she “settled” for $200) for nothing more than a first date and no guarantee of a second at least. I guess she’s gotten tired of guys who don’t bathe and is willing to travel now. Interesting.

    Before I ponied up for premium membership, I did have an offer of $75 from a nearby gal around mid-December. Fair enough. Problem is…she’s got a profile on another site that says she has Herpes-2. Yikes.

  37. Al says:

    Oh…women asking the guy to be creative. Well, with two lines in a profile “about me”, she best not be a vegan when I plan a night out with lots of meat laid out on the dinner table. See how that works, ladies? I can be more creative when I know MORE ABOUT YOU.

  38. Al says:

    One last thing…a $200 offer should be more than enough.

    My date arrived in an outfit that is already in one or two of her pics. Don’t tell me that you honestly buy a new outfit for every date!

  39. Laurie says:

    I always appreciate when a man writes me a genuine message. A sincere compliment never hurts, either.

    I also appreciate a generous gentleman, so $200 is the very least that I’ll usually accept for a date. Any offer less than $100 is rather demeaning, in my opinion. But if someone requests an offer price, I ask $300, as I have a lucrative career, and I feel that my time spent on a date with a man I’ve never met is worth at least that much. And I must admit that when I’ve met these gentlemen, most have gifted me even more than agreed upon originally…a “tip” for having had a lovely time, I suppose. So it seems that there are enough men in this site who do “get it”…and they understand that if you are generous, as well as a respectful gentleman, you will have a better time…at least with a lady of grace and poise. And isn’t that the kind of woman most gentlemen desire?

  40. ChocolateXL says:

    As a man who prides himself on being creative, reading a person’s profile, and being unique in all my messages; I can tell you …it doesn’t matter.
    Women get a slough of messages, and rarely read all of them. At best they might skim; but most of it is all about “first impression” , which is of course visual.
    I have assisted my female friends with their online dating; most of the time they pick the same type of guy they date in person.
    If you’re not her “type”, or don’t look a certain way, most times your profile and message isn’t getting read.

    I signed up for this site out of curiosity; I have no problems getting dates in person locally. I wanted to know who/what I would be getting for said “price”.
    As a southern gentleman, I normally pay for the first date anyway; this is an interesting concept for me, but I am keeping an open mind.

    I suppose I am hoping there are quality women with ladylike tendencies; who know how to appreciate an ambitious man.

  41. Sophie says:


    I am a black female and I have had many ‘offers’ on this site. I accept and then nothing comes of it. I find this more annoying than if they never made an offer at all.

    People do have a ‘type’. If we do not fit it, we just have to accept it I guess 🙂

  42. enchantedmuse says:

    Something else to consider, if you’re going to make an offer, take gas into account. I would never ask for a couple hundred bucks, but don’t offer me $30 if I’m going to have to drive 117 miles. At least make it worth it. Maybe I’m not like most women on here because I’m really just trying to have a good time, not make a living out of this site, but there’s a point where an offer is a little offending.

  43. amiebabie says:

    Hi Candybar
    I am a young, cute, black female also. I agree w/the man that said some ppl tend to be more flaky in certain areas, except its men also. I have had a few dates so far but also had 2 offers that never got back to me so I suspect they just wanted to view more private type of pics as many of the other women have stated.
    I work & am in school so time is a valuable commodity to me. 1 date lived way out of my area-although he stated Orlando-was very nice and made me feel very comfortable during the date but I suspect he figured he would get “some” that night so, he gave me the offered amount-although after reading some of the posts will up my offer or counter offer now-, was courteous, hands and hugs were welcome though. He wanted to spend more “time” w/me and come over to my place. Needless to say that didnt happen especially since I felt he thought it was deserved. He never tried for another date. Its not the site its the particular guys.
    On another note
    I read 1 post where a man stated he paid the girls what he offered and they always gave him what he wanted. Ofcourse we know that sometimes it can happen but he needs to also figure that his words imply something unrealistic to most other men and unless the offer was a whole lot more than the 200 dollars most girls here keep speaking of. Either he is very personable and or sexy or they wanted to show their gratitude lol.
    I think lots of guys here aren’t really looking for love/dating. Just to be seen with us attractive women and get back at society since normally may not give them a chance or they just pic collect.

  44. T says:

    The worst initial messages I get are the ones asking for my phone number. Then the guy wants to call me several times per week, sometimes for 2-3 weeks, trying to discern whether I’m worth the $150+ he offered. I feel like I’m on trial, and I have to prove myself. It’s the worst approach ever. What a way to position a girl not to act like herself, first of all. Secondly, how rude. Since when do we ask someone for something that we know they will give as soon as they want to. Dating sites are just the modern day equivalent of a blind date, except you might get a couple pictures and a paragraph or two to go by. But, when in the history of blind dates have you got someone’s phone number in advance. I understand you want to know a little something, anything, about the person before meeting them, but then have some class. I’m really attracted to the guys who have the forethought to ask, “So, what is the best way to contact you?” Then I tell them Skype. Note only it is not as personal as my phone number, but you can actually see the person you are talking to, not to mention you can gauge whether the person is really up on modern ways of doing things. If they care enough about being ‘with’ things these days, then they’ll have a smartphone, and you can contact each other through Skype on your smart phone. Personally, I have poor reception in my basement apartment, and I have to go outside to make/take phone calls, and then my nosy ridiculous herd mentality neighbors know my business, and no I’m not going to just go sit in my car in 100 degrees heat to talk to you when you should be up on Skype anyway. Really, it takes 3 minutes to make an account…if you’re not willing to do that, how attracted to the other things you are not willing to do am I really going to be? Whatever happened to ladies first? If the lady wants Skype, then get Skype. Guaranteed you’ll use it again. Part of the purpose of the money is to compensate the girl if she doesn’t like you. You are removing the point of that by insisting on multiple (usually lengthly) phone conversations beforehand. For what I’m worth at work, your $100 date gets you know more than 3 hours with me. I’m not in it for the money, but don’t remove the point of the compensation by doing this. I hope I’ve removed a bit of the ‘women are mysterious creatures’ from this. Someone has to say what is really going through our minds, so allow me to martyr myself, lol.

  45. Sha says:

    @Laurie- I totally agree with you
    @Candybar -I’m a African American woman there are guys on here that are our color and whites guysetc.which I dont mind because Race isnt a factor for me! Keep looking ladies and keep your standards HIGH!

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