Maybe It’s You, Not Her
  • Posted May 16, 2013
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Ever wondered what exactly is preventing you from finding your “Perfect 10?” All egos aside, what if I told you that it’s you, and not her? Maybe it’s the realist inside me, but I think finding “the one” is entirely dependent on your own mindset.

Sure, there exists high-school sweethearts and first-timers, but know that love-at-first-sight is the minority. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience this, so more idealistic men should be open and aware to the following realities.

Now before you jump to conclusions, hear me out: do any of these situations apply to you or someone you know?

Ignorance: You have already found her, but have yet to realize it.

  • The Truth: Stop comparing what you have with what you want to have. Many men in current relationships share this perspective. Yes, you may think you have met someone better, but why risk that for something that is already good? If it ain’t broke, don’t break up.

Infatuation: You have already found her, but she shows zero interest in you.

  • The Truth: Disregard every rom-com you have ever watched and know that very few things in life (that are worth it) are handed to us. So if you find great interest in this girl, don’t just sit on the bench. The first two steps to becoming impressionable are simple: improve your look and learn to become gentlemanly. Ultimately, girls will fall for the jerk, but women will fall for the gentleman who is respectful and generous.

Complacency: You haven’t found her, and are waiting for her to appear.

  • The Truth: Don’t ever depend on fate. Personally, I don’t believe in a higher power introducing me to my dream girl. We’ve all witnessed one who hangs onto the ideal of serendipitously meeting “the one.” Be proactive, not reactive, towards your love life. The more you improve yourself, the more likely you will find her.


What Other Factors Help/Hinder One from Meeting “The One”?

7 Responses to “Maybe It’s You, Not Her”

  1. Leroy says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome on this blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements, but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” section for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!

  2. Jersey Darling says:

    Generosity won’t always win depending on the type of girl you target, but it’s certainly a good head start. I think the best rule of thumb for men is if you want something, GO for it. Most women love an assertive man and will notice if your actions match your words!

    • guywitdignity says:

      i pampered the girl and changed who i am as a man…

      she then turned around and dumped me….

      • ESFJVixen says:

        No matter if you’re male or female, changing yourself to suit someone else’s view of what you should be is NEVER a good thing. You have to find someone who will love you as you are.

        Unless the changes you make are changes that you legitimately wanted to make prior to meeting someone and they just provided that extra dose of encouragement you needed. Otherwise, just don’t no it.


  3. BeehiveBlonde says:

    Hey Joysie Girl, took your advice, we’ll see how it goes.

  4. CenturionBaby says:

    Expecting to find a 10 on a site like this is pretty damn insane if you ask me, being the closest you could likely get to one.

    Should we subtract a point for the fact that the girl is broke?
    Minus 2 for the fact that he seeks to purchase his companions ie: control people with money?

    I know this is fantasy but let’s be real for a second, nobody’s getting a 10 here.


  5. onemoo says:

    @centurionbaby I’m not saying I’m a 10 at all but what I do know is that I could support myself with any help. I just like the idea that a wealthy man would be willing to pay to hang out with me. It’s very exciting to think about.

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