Ever wondered what exactly is preventing you from finding your “Perfect 10?” All egos aside, what if I told you that it’s you, and not her? Maybe it’s the realist inside me, but I think finding “the one” is entirely dependent on your own mindset.

Sure, there exists high-school sweethearts and first-timers, but know that love-at-first-sight is the minority. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience this, so more idealistic men should be open and aware to the following realities.

Now before you jump to conclusions, hear me out: do any of these situations apply to you or someone you know?

Ignorance: You have already found her, but have yet to realize it.

• The Truth: Stop comparing what you have with what you want to have. Many men in current relationships share this perspective. Yes, you may think you have met someone better, but why risk that for something that is already good? If it ain’t broke, don’t break up.

Infatuation: You have already found her, but she shows zero interest in you.

• The Truth: Disregard every rom-com you have ever watched and know that very few things in life (that are worth it) are handed to us. So if you find great interest in this girl, don’t just sit on the bench. The first two steps to becoming impressionable are simple: improve your look and learn to become gentlemanly. Ultimately, girls will fall for the jerk, but women will fall for the gentleman who is respectful and generous.

Complacency: You haven’t found her, and are waiting for her to appear.

• The Truth: Don’t ever depend on fate. Personally, I don’t believe in a higher power introducing me to my dream girl. We’ve all witnessed one who hangs onto the ideal of serendipitously meeting “the one.” Be proactive, not reactive, towards your love life. The more you improve yourself, the more likely you will find her.

What Other Factors Help/Hinder One from Meeting “The One”?