Man-cessorizing
  • Posted Jul 31, 2014
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The majority of men don’t take fashion very seriously, and that only makes sense, since women have so many more options for accessorizing. Men, however, have to work within a much more narrow scope. They are left with basic touches like fedoras or class rings, but he may always wonder if it’s really a good look.

Accessories on a man can be the fashion flair he needs to catch your eye, but too much may push him into an awkwardly metrosexual zone. Men, look no further than this blog for clarity, because I’m here to dispel all your nagging concerns about man-cessorizing.

Hats

On a man, a hat should be less fashion and more function. Protection from the sun is a legitimate concern, so a baseball cap or a sun hat may be appropriate and even charming for a day outside. However, true colors may come into question when a guy is rocking a pinstripe fedora. There is no function with this pseudo-gangster headwear, except to look like kind of a tool.

Bracelets

When worn tastefully, a leather band or cord can look stylish. A man wearing a bracelet may seem a little androgynous, but it can be a total turn on for women who prefer someone more metrosexual or fashion-forward. Don’t let that be a segue to raver fashion, since plastic beads should never be flaunted outside festival walls. Check out modern mens bracelet-maker Miansai for acceptable arm candy.

Timepieces

On the other hand (pun intended), watches are always a good look. A chronograph watch can make you look like you have somewhere important to be, and a digital one offers a an athletic aesthetic. Plus, a woman of substance will greatly admire an elegant Patek Philippe or timeless Rolex. Spending a significant amount on a watch shows that he values the finer things, and it may eventually become a treasured heirloom.

Necklaces

Remember puka-shell necklaces? Most of them used fake shells, but when paired with a tribal armband, they made the ladies of the ’90s swoon. Sadly for wannabe surfers, these necklaces are a trend best kept in the past. Unless a necklace is really unusual, subtle, and somewhat masculine, a clean clavicle will serve you better than an ornamented one.

Cufflinks

Granted, most men do not wear dress shirts with French cuffs. However, don’t let that discourage you. There is nothing sexier than a man who understands the subtle elegance of this classic style, especially when paired with a handcrafted link. If he’s not the chic type, a fun riff like these Lego cufflinks can be just the transitional element he needs.

Earrings

Unless you’re Kanye West (who is openly and proudly a giant douche), earrings are not okay on men. Maybe ten or twenty years ago, you could get away with a single pirate stud, but those days have long passed. At the risk of embarrassing a future child or dissuading a potential flame, skip the ear wear.

Rings

Are you a Super Bowl champion? Are you a casino pit boss? Are you married? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are permitted to wear a ring. Otherwise, this look is straight out of a Robert De Niro heist movie, and not the kind where everyone lives.

It’s not completely out of the question for a man to adorn himself with jewelry or accessories. But keep in mind to take off the last accessory you put on. Or, in the case of a man, limit yourself to one or two statement pieces.

One Response to “Man-cessorizing”

  1. DollyS says:

    Do all of the men you date come out of the same factory? This article was one of the most depressing “advice” pieces I’ve ever read. You should’ve titled it “GET IN THE BOX, LOSER”.

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