Six Dating Approaches to Avoid
  • Posted Feb 26, 2014
  • Views 28190
  • Written by 


In my earlier years, I used to think picking up girls was easy work: act like an asshole, throw of one liners, and be persistent. I approached every girl similarly to much success. But this was college, and the real world was a real wake-up call. Little did I know at the time that I was dealing with naive girls, not mature women.

The truth is, women analyze an entire situation much faster than men–objectifying, lying, and misleading maneuvers are easily picked up by women. Forget what the pick-up artist has taught you. Women have an inherent douche alarm and are not afraid to use it.

Women have slapped me, thrown drinks on me, hid within their groups of friends, and even laughed in my face. But this is how I later succeeded at being single. You live, you learn, and you adapt.

Ironically, I realized that there is no complex guide, let alone answer, to picking up women. I guess college taught me more than just my degree…


The Solution

From my own failed experiences, I’ve learned to keep things simple: a genuine smile with a subtle “Hi” helps you easily gauge chemistry. If she’s interested, a conversation will flow naturally. If not, then at least I tried.

While my rule of engagement seems basic on paper, it’s often received positively by women. At best, I’ll get her number, and at the very worst, I’ll make an acquaintance.

The Lesson

Forget what fairy tales have taught you about dating. Making moves is a numbers game, not a serendipitous scene straight from Cinderella. Approaching more women will not only boost your confidence, but will also increase your success rate.

This self-assurance is vital in establishing attraction. Obviously, every approach will not result in victory, but trying and failing is better than asking, “what if?”

In that regard, taking rejection in stride is a quality that many men learn with time and with experience. Those who fail to recognize this concept often resort to childish and creepy methods that never work.

From cat calls to Facebook stalking, desperate men have used odd and extreme measures to attract women.

60% of the time, these approaches work every time… at driving women away.

shutterstock_100825303Social Media Stalking

See a hot girl on facebook? It’s definitely a good idea to message her and introduce yourself… if you want to be written off as a creeper.

Never, ever message a girl privately through the interwebs before meeting her in person. Were you waiting for the perfect moment to introduce yourself, only to reveal that you have been following her for weeks?

Try This

Always meet her first, broach the idea of hanging out again, and then ask to add her as a friend. It’s that simple.

shutterstock_75554701Ladies Room Lurking

Popular bars and clubs often have droves of women waiting outside the bathroom. Many inept men view this as an opportunity rather than a red flag. Never, ever approach a woman who is waiting in line to relieve herself . They only have one thing on their mind, and it’s not making out with you.

Try This

Wait until she is in a calmer, less distracted state—in other words, until she is done doing her business. Keep your approach near the bar or table areas.

shutterstock_48352015Drink of Desperation

Women like to enjoy drinks with people to establish rapport. You should never just buy a girl a shot without first introducing yourself.

A woman’s mind works like this: “Here is a complete stranger, who just bought me a shot, and is now staring at me prolongingly from across the bar.”

Creepy, right? Also, never offer a girl a drink that you already have. A woman will always assume you roofied it. We were raised as kids to not accept candy from strangers, and this gesture is no different.

Try This

The best way to offer a drink is to first introduce yourself and then ask if she’d like a drink. If she accepts, you are now guaranteed with a 10-15 minute window to find out if there’s more to you two than just a common love of alcohol.

shutterstock_161906780Sending the Cavalry

Do your own dirty work. Sending your “wing man” or group of friends to approach a girl is a move straight from the sixth grade playbook. Most importantly, why present your buddy with an opportunity for him to shine?

Try This

If you like her, approach her. At some point, you’re going to have to speak to her in person. Why not just get the hard part over with at the beginning?

shutterstock_62583838 (2)Flashing Cash

Never start a conversation with how much you make, what kind of car you drive, or the money that you’re willing to spend on her. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and this crosses the former. Women will either become immediately turned off, or they will fake interest just to use you. Neither of these results bode well for you, so keep the money talks at a minimum.

Try This

It’s all about the details: dress nicely, wear accessories, purchase a nice leather wallet, etc. Women are expert analysts and will immediately know if you’re worth their time. Looks and demeanor will say much more about your status than your words ever will.

shutterstock_79775938Touchy Feely

A woman will make it quite obvious when she desires your touch, so it is important to know the basics of body language. Don’t ever touch a girl without the green light: her touching you first, her moving closer to you, her feet pointing towards you, etc. Until then, keep your hands off the merchandise.

Try This

Once you have gauged her interest, lightly touch her back or her arm. But no matter the circumstance, never grab a girl by her wrist or her butt. This isn’t Europe. It is extremely rapey and will only result in a slap.


Women are people, not dogs. Loud noises are extremely objectifying and will get a woman to roll her eyes, at best.

Try This

If you want her attention from across the bar, avoid all annoying sounds absent of words.

shutterstock_80434225“I don’t usually do this, but…”

For God sakes, man up and never lead with this sentence. You made a move, now own up to it like a man. Also, never stare without saying anything. If she catches you doing the up-and-down, you’re still in the clear. Just be sure to follow-up confidently. Gazing without actually going for it makes you look like a kidnapper, not a suitor.

Try This

Never preface your approach with insecure lines or hesitance. If she catches you looking, then make a move. If you’ve already made a move, then don’t second-guess yourself by saying you never do this. It’s a confidence killer for you, and a buzzkill for her.


Men, what other moves never work when approaching women? How do you approach women?

Women, what other approaches immediately turn you off?

Comments are closed.