How to Ditch the Date – A Girl’s Guide
  • Posted Jul 17, 2012
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So you’ve used an online dating website and you’re now on a first date with somebody that you met. There’s no guarantee that things will go smoothly, so how do you get out of it in an elegant manner?

Are you “pulling teeth” to extract a thought from the guy? Or does every other sentence begin with, “I’m really good at…”  Whatever the reason, you can’t stand to be in his presence any longer. It also doesn’t help that you just ordered your main course and he’s already on his fifth beer. So how do you bow out without looking like a bitch?

Scenario One: Fake an Illness

Fake Being Sick to Get out of your DateBlame it on the prawns you had as an appetizer, or the bad sushi you had for lunch. Cover your mouth and book it for the restroom before bowing out with a case of food poisoning. And will any man really question the details of your “cramps?” Cramps to men is like fantasy football to women: they know it exists, but are oblivious to the details.

Scenario Two: Fake an emergency

If you don’t have a friend on standby to impersonate a dying grandmother or sick aunt, there’s always an app for that.

Scenario Three: Use alcohol as a coping mechanism

Any date will be more entertaining with a little alcohol in your system. Drink enough to find the humor in his stupidity, but not enough to make a bad decision.

Scenario Four: Be dramatic

If he is a complete tool who is throwing one liners down your throat and not getting the message, what else can you do? You’re not exactly “stooping” down to his level–you’re just expressing your feelings in a manner that he can comprehend.

Plus, who doesn’t want to throw water in someone’s face? So next time you’re part of a first-date from Hell, re-enact your favorite breakup scene and watch the priceless reaction that follows.

While we offer some humorous and exaggerated solutions to dating disasters, we strongly advise that you generally treat the evening with class. At the very least, you got a free meal and were compensated for your time. That’s the whole point of this dating website: adding an extra incentive to those who have to experience the good and bad of online dating. Remember, don’t lead him on if you really aren’t interested. Don’t kiss him goodnight, don’t invite him up, and don’t ask him to call you again. Let it be clear that you have no intentions of pursuing a relationship after tonight. After all, you’re signed up to an online dating website – just go home and find somebody else to date.

Better luck next time.

I’ve given some advice on how women can bow out of the date early (or decline the offer of future dates with that person) without causing offense. In my next post, I will go over some of the ways for men to do the same.


25 Responses to “How to Ditch the Date – A Girl’s Guide”

  1. Brandon Wade says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome on the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” page on the WhatsYourPrice blog.

  2. tomhear says:

    Your comparison of fantasy football and cramps not withstanding, I have to say that I think Scenario One and Scenario Two would be pretty transparent to many guys. We’ve watched enough TV sitcoms to see these coming. It may still work in getting out of the situation, but don’t expect the guy to be fooled.

    Scenario Three has some risks in that the guy may think you are trying to have a good time ad step up his advances. This may prove eqully entertaining, but be cautious…and as the blog says, have enough to enjoy, but not so much to make bad decisions.

    I like Scenario Four the best! Guys, man up and take the truth! Even if it’s a drink in the face! If a guys behavior is that boorish, give it too him. If HE’S boring, TELL HIM he is putting you to sleep. I think more people should be realistic about the purpose of the site. If the girl sees no hope for any future relationship, thank the date for the hospitality, for being gracious in honoring his agreement and wish him well in future endeavors. But, girls, PLEASE be honest enough to say that the relationship doesn’t work for YOU. Personally, I get annoyed when a girl says “I’m not right for you”. Really? As the guy, I thought you were, or else I wouldn’t have pursued the date! And if I didn’t think you were right, I would have ended the date. Watch for Brandon’s next blog to see how! :o)

  3. Ryan says:

    I always play it safe by approaching a date two ways – first, I make sure to have some form of preliminary contact before meeting. Face-to-face online chat through a disposable login for Skype, Yahoo or something similar. Secondly, meet for minimal time commitment – like coffee at one of the many coffee places all over town. If things go well, finish the date over dinner after the pre-coffee meet, otherwise you can leave – hard feelings or not – with no reason to hang around.

    If at all possible, have an exit strategy that doesn’t depend upon your date for travel resources. Drive yourself and meet there, or have a friend drop you off.

    With respect to the “Fake an Emergency” approach, if using a friend, don’t have your friend depend on you sending a message saying “get me out of here!”, but rather the opposite should be planned. If your friend does NOT receive a message from you within a certain time, they are to come in and assess the situation and determine – whether by visual cue or verbally from you – whether or not all is well. Your phone may have died, you have bad reception, or the dude has a cellphone jammer in his jacket. Go ahead – call me paranoid, I don’t mind.

    As to trading messages via cell or text to your friend, you have a couple of safer ways to approach this.

    First, you could just agree that unless you text the safe phrase “the pineapple was awesome”, they know not to trust anything they get from your phone and that you need assistance.

    Another option is to use a “duress” phrase. This is something you say or text – that to any casual outside observer would assume all is well, including your psycho date so as not to raise suspicion, but your friend knows you are in danger, or you perceive that a danger exists and they are to get you help by any means necessary. Saying or texting “everything is great!” means get me out of here!. And again, anything without your safe phrase “the pineapple was awesome” isn’t to be trusted.

    Lastly, if you really want to take it to the extreme – use two cell phones. A burner and a tracker. The burner you bought as a simple disposable texting phone as a pay-by-use from a Walmart, Target or somewhere else. Your “tracker” is YOUR phone. This phone you leave in silent mode and hidden. This way your friends can use something like “find-my-iphone” and follow you, or you can use it to make emergency calls.

    I know – I sound paranoid – but as a medical systems computer person, I am trained to try and think of all scenarios that mitigate and manage risk.

    Personally if I met a woman who thought things through like this, I would be in awe, probably giving her anything she wanted just because she was so freakin’ cool. :-)

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks Brandon for this blog entry! I must try the dramatic exit with the next guy off of here that says “Hey you wanna go back to my place and do the dirty?” Only they don’t say dirty :(

  5. Lore says:

    I have come close once to walking out on a date just once, only because he drank to much and was being obnoxious, but other than that, I don’t think there is a reason to ditch a date unless they over step their bounds, and don’t stop when you tell them too, then just walk. Other than that I think it’s better to make the best of a date.

  6. Ryan Forrest says:

    Are you saying some people that walk out during a date actually expect to be paid?

  7. bobby the k says:

    I think saying, “I have to be honest with you, I’m not interested in another date or any communication after this one, but I’m grateful for this date, it’s been a fun time, but I don’t feel we’re the right fit.” is one of the best things a beautiful woman could say if she’s not interested.

    I went on three dates with a remarkably beautiful woman from this site. One of the dates was so remarkably romantic, I gasp when I think about it. (No sex mind you, although it was possible. I don’t like sex unless I know a woman really likes me. Maybe I’m a weird guy.) At the end of the last date, she said, “Please don’t call me or text me, but you can send me an email, I might read it.” Woah. Can you imagine how long it took me to get over that woman? That was a horrible experience.

    But now I’m ready to date again and spend some money. Any beautiful women out there want to go out with a nice guy? :) (lol)

  8. betty says:

    Perhaps not ditch but more like shorten the date.

  9. Eva says:

    Oh my, I have had some bad dates. The funniest one was someone I wanted to walk out on,the minute I saw him. My mother taught me nice manners so I stayed. It was a nice venue, and a nice lunch. The man started sweating profusely, told me he had just quit smoking and drinking and I swear to God he began to froth at the mouth. Inside I was actually laughing myself silly. The gentleman was very unattractive, but very intelligent, and hilarious. We exchanged bad dating stories, and he had quite a few. All in all, it was quiet the date! But not to be repeated!

  10. blankenship says:

    It’s a good reason why you’re getting paid for the date.

  11. AJ says:

    How about just being honest and saying “You are not my cup of tea.”? This can be said before or during the date. But please don’t expect money if you cancel early; the guy is paying for a date, not for a quick “hi and goodbye”. Let’s be nice to each other out there!

  12. Laurie says:

    Point well taken, Blankenship…so perhaps the ladies need to consider requesting a considerably higher date price!

  13. blankenship says:

    Maybe that’s true. I guess the market tells all.

  14. Bobby the K says:

    A woman should say if she’s not interested, “I have to be honest with you, I’ve had a great time, but I don’t think we’re the right fit, but I’m eternally grateful for the date.” It’s a way for closure and most men would greatly respect a woman like that.

    I had four dates with one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met, from this site. The third date was remarkable and very romantic, and it was obvious she enjoyed it immensely. But on the fourth date she said at the end, “Don’t call me or text me anymore. But you can send me emails, although I probably won’t read them.” That was a horrible experience. I was in second guessing limbo for months. Please ladies, beauty is a terrible power to abuse. Be direct. No ambiguity. I hope handsome and charming men do the same.

  15. Bobby the K says:

    Brandon, I reposted because it said my post is under review, and I like the second one better. Can you delete my previous post? Thanks.

  16. Sophie says:

    I have never walked out on a date. But I have wished for a way to make a sharp exit with a few. I usually think the polite text after is a good way of saying thanks but no thanks. However, that is not easy on dates where they try to keep kissing you. Very awkward!

  17. annoyomous says:

    The bad dates are the ones where they take you straight to a hotel….then i think that is okay to walk away….when men are using this site for prostitution.

    I had a guy take me straight to a hotel. Apparently he though i was a hooker for being on this site….thats a bad date.

  18. tom says:

    Some guys are just pervs. But some girls on here put risque pics on their profile. I mean if girls want to be taken seriously than they should leave the risque pics for after you get to know a person. Putting a risque pic of say your cleavage or other body parts tells some guys that this girl is easy. Guys are supposed to show class the same should apply for women as well. I dont have problems with women looking sexy, just show some class in your profiles.Not every profile is like that but i have seen my share.

  19. Pete says:

    I’m really confused. I’ve had three dates and all women were good company and I enjoyed the experience, however two of the three dates were pretty blatant attempts at securing future services for money. One very pretty young single mother had me in her bedroom in short order – she explained that all her dates expected this. This quickly dispelled any romantic ideas I might have had. I refused her offer with the (in hindsight) rather stupid statement “I don’t know where you’ve been and you don’t know where I’ve been!”. It was not my plan to insult her, but I was not expecting sex for my money – rather I was hoping for a genuine relationship which obviously wasn’t going to happen in her case.

  20. Liz says:

    I had a offer for a large amount of money, the guy wasn’t great looking but thought he might be a good laugh & nice person so I thought what the hell.. I was away working when he contacted me.. We set up a date, over the next few days went from dinner to brunch to what I was to find out.. Coffee.. He picked me up from where i was staying, i just spent 2 hours getting ready for him to turn up looking like a slob, We sat in a cafe & talked he told me to order some food then when I notice he was going to order I asked him why & he told me he ate with friends before he came also he bored me to tears, he then asked me what I was doing for the day, I said I thought I was spending it with you or part of it anyway thinking it might get better, he told me he wasnt well.. The date lasted 20mins & I received no money & didn’t think I should ask for it.. The money was not the issue but I think he thought if he made the date short then he wouldn’t have to folk out.. He asked if we could meet up again & the answer is NOOO!!!!!!

  21. betty says:

    Maybe they take whats your price seriously pete!

  22. Sophie says:

    I had a guy ask me, if I give you £100 for 2 hours, what will I get? So it shows that some on here view it as cheap escort services.

  23. dianna says:

    I uploaded a couple pics now how do I set them as my profile pic

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  25. SpiritGreyWolf says:

    Sophie – I probably would have responded to him (let’s say his name is Chaz) like this;

    Dear Chaz,

    I can tell by your question you are a truly evolved male and I am already excited to make your acquaintance!

    Hmmm… 100 pounds for 2 hours? Oh, well for such a straight up question allow me to spell it out for you:

    1 – Me in a fancy dress, great perfume and sparkling eyes looking so hot that every other female in the place would shoot their own mother to look half as good as I do. Yes Chaz, I would be the best arm-candy your 200 pounds would EVER hope to buy.

    2 – Me ordering absolutely the most expensive items on the menu – whether I can eat them or not is of no consequence to you obviously, so I would order them all – then send half of them back because that would let you know I am very high-maintenance – and that you’ll need the stones and wherewithal to handle it. So Chaz, be a good boy and make sure you’ve grown a pair of testicles and keep an extra set in your pocket.

    3 – I would immediately ask the wait staff to bring me at least four to-go boxes, as I have six small children and a large dog named “Roger” at home. Four boxes virtually guarantees there will be a big sporting event to weed out the stronger man-children over the weaker while they fight for the sustenance you provide. “All hail Chaz!” I would exclaim before tossing the boxes into the child-cluster like feed before swine. If they’re smart, they’ll band together against Roger. It’s a gamble after each date, but the littlest, my girl Suzi, shows promise because she fights dirty. Definitely takes after momma.

    4 – During the date I can ensure that you will be thoroughly bathed in the glory that is my wit, my charm and my complete mastery of the magic of sarcasm. Unfortunately Chaz, I feel strongly that most if not all of that gold-plated discourse that will flow from my lips like angels breath, will be lost on one such as yourself. Hopefully a real man sitting nearby will tune in to what I am saying and just “get it” without me having to slow down and explain it to them. If he does, I will demand you immediately send for a cab, pay the cab driver to take me and the other man home so I can completely rock his world and put a smile on his face so huge it would take surgery to remove it.

    So Chaz, when do you want to meet? I’m already hot for you and my babies are hungry!”

    Seriously – guys like that should just call an escort service and be done with it. Sad thing is, Chaz has more clones out there that most women realize…

    Spirit Grey Wolf

    SpiritGreywolf (at) outlook (dot) com

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