So you’ve used an online dating website and you’re now on a first date with somebody that you met. There’s no guarantee that things will go smoothly, so how do you get out of it in an elegant manner?

Are you “pulling teeth” to extract a thought from the guy? Or does every other sentence begin with, “I’m really good at…”  Whatever the reason, you can’t stand to be in his presence any longer. It also doesn’t help that you just ordered your main course and he’s already on his fifth beer. So how do you bow out without looking like a bitch?

Scenario One: Fake an Illness

Blame it on the prawns you had as an appetizer, or the bad sushi you had for lunch. Cover your mouth and book it for the restroom before bowing out with a case of food poisoning. And will any man really question the details of your “cramps?” Cramps to men is like fantasy football to women: they know it exists, but are oblivious to the details.

Scenario Two: Fake an emergency

If you don’t have a friend on standby to impersonate a dying grandmother or sick aunt, there’s always an app for that.

Scenario Three: Use alcohol as a coping mechanism

Any date will be more entertaining with a little alcohol in your system. Drink enough to find the humor in his stupidity, but not enough to make a bad decision.

Scenario Four: Be dramatic

If he is a complete tool who is throwing one liners down your throat and not getting the message, what else can you do? You’re not exactly “stooping” down to his level–you’re just expressing your feelings in a manner that he can comprehend.

Plus, who doesn’t want to throw water in someone’s face? So next time you’re part of a first-date from Hell, re-enact your favorite breakup scene and watch the priceless reaction that follows.

While we offer some humorous and exaggerated solutions to dating disasters, we strongly advise that you generally treat the evening with class. At the very least, you got a free meal and were compensated for your time. That’s the whole point of this dating website: adding an extra incentive to those who have to experience the good and bad of online dating. Remember, don’t lead him on if you really aren’t interested. Don’t kiss him goodnight, don’t invite him up, and don’t ask him to call you again. Let it be clear that you have no intentions of pursuing a relationship after tonight. After all, you’re signed up to an online dating website – just go home and find somebody else to date.

Better luck next time.

I’ve given some advice on how women can bow out of the date early (or decline the offer of future dates with that person) without causing offense. In my next post, I will go over some of the ways for men to do the same.