They’re cute. No! Scratch that. They’re flawless. They’re rom-com meet-cute, drop your shopping and reach for the same apple as it rolls away material. You know you have to shoot your shot and to get that date, but it has to be perfect. No pressure, all you need is to flirt like a pro. That’s a lie. Major pressure.
Cool it, we’ve got you covered.
Our dating pros know a thing or two about flirting online — and today, they’re sharing their best secrets with us! These aren’t opening lines, though. We’re getting you a date here, not getting you blocked.
This is a step-by-step guide to help you make your move and make it count.
Welcome to Online Flirting, Pro Edition: Your SparkNotes to find the perfect phrase and get them swooning over you. You want to be funny and seem approachable. But trust us when we say that corny lines will only get you crickets (unless you’re Ryan Gosling or Adriana Lima. Which you aren’t, so we’ve got to work the personality angle here).
The best way to slide into their DMs is with a message that feels authentic and shows your character; gone are the days of the pick-up line or the “wyd?”
Ready to take your online dating game to the next level?
Giving good digital isn’t easy! You can’t just sidle up to him or her and splurge on expensive drinks at the bar to show off. The fact of it is that online flirting has to start with something plausible.
Show your dating potential from the get-go. To do that, do your homework.
They say people think differently when they are behind a keyboard. Digital doesn’t allow for the ‘laugh it off’ slip-ups of IRL, and it’s that much easier to come across as a weirdo. If you want to flirt like a pro, you’ve got to speak the lingo.
It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.
Here are some tips to liven up your chats:
There’s a reason Bruno Mars is a master of seduction. Want to hit it out of the park with that first message? Give them a chance to talk about themselves and let them know you want to hear more in person. By leaving the door open, you make the other person feel flattered and excited to share how cool they are.
So, when you send that first message, resist the urge to talk about yourself. Instead, set the stage for them to show the best of who they are, hint at why you may be compatible, and make it clear that you’re interested in a date. This combo adds an actual allure to your opening phrase.
Keep something back, make sure they have room to ask you questions.
In the digital dating era, you’ve sometimes got to get mathematical about things— but, sometimes doing it by numbers can work wonders. Here’s your cheat sheet:
Genuine Compliment + Why You Like Them + Open-Ended Question = Date
Let’s break it down:
Check this out. Here’s the formula in action: