It’s well known that the weeks following the end of the holidays are brutal. Some studies show that January 5th or 6th—usually whatever is the Monday following New Year’s—is the most depressing day of the entire year. Most people are back to work and and the daily grind after celebrating, having time off, and generally enjoying their lives for once. Winter is just really gearing up and months of ice and snow loom ahead. Tax season is upon us.
Since we can’t change the calendar, make taxes less of a headache, or alter weather patterns, how are we supposed to break out of the January doldrums? With a new date, of course!
Dating a new person can help lift you from the seasonal depths of despair. But not all dates are created equal. This raises the question: What’s the best kind of date to escape the post-holiday blues?
The Person: This is not an unpleasant person to consider a date with. He opens the restaurant door for the lady with a smile and has a laugh with the two people who duck in before he can enter to join her. She tries everything with good humor, spending most of the date giggling or laughing or being about to giggle or laugh. And don’t get me started on when a drink or two is inside them.
The Date: Usually a comedy movie, then decamping to a T.B.O. McFlinnigan’s kind of ersatz corporate “pub.” A couple of margaritas or daquiris later, the laughs just keep on coming.
Ha, ha! What a card! Ha.
The Good: It is a fun way to spend a few hours or, if things go really well, giggling in bed overnight.
The Bad: “I don’t think that funeral procession appreciated our pointing and laughing because we thought the hearse’s muffler sounded like a fart.”
The Ugly: Laughing is good. Only laughing is weird. Constantly laughing can make you want to run screaming back to the calm but familiar depressing environs of your workplace.
The Person: Initially on the unpleasant side, a date with this kind of artsy, deadpan guy or gal can actually turn out to be quite interesting. Weren’t you just saying that you wished you could have some new experiences? Wasn’t that why you joined WhatsYourPrice in the first place? Well, now you’ve got them in spades, my friend.
The Date: Art show, tattoo shop, piercing pagoda, thrift shop, used vinyl record store, overdressed beach walks, smoking clove cigarettes, concert with mosh pit, fights with bourgeois waiters or bartenders, crying until dawn. In other words, it’s like you’re in high school again!
The Good: You’ll have a lot of funny crazy stories to tell on your next first date …
The Bad: … if you can survive this one.
The Ugly: Hanging out at Denny’s ’til 3 a.m. was barely fun in high school, let alone now.
The Person: His shirt is unbuttoned too far down. Her skirt is short and she lets you know there’s nothing underneath it. He drives a van with a waterbed in it or, after a dinner in which he tries to footsie you the entire time, likes to back his car into dark, secluded parking spaces perfect for a quick shag. She insists on giving you a backrub while instructing you to drive so you can park your car into a dark, secluded parking space.
The Date: You blah blah eat drink blah whatever, then hit the sack like it owes you money.
The Good: Sex. The chase has been cut.
The Bad: Going on a nature hike on future dates is going to seem extremely boring … unless you have sex again at some point while you’re doing it.
For example, this BDSM couple just found the location of some poison ivy.
The Ugly: Sex is good (see above), but getting down to business on a first date kind of drains the romance out of things, doesn’t it?
No matter what kind of person and what kind of date, you mustn’t give in to the temptation to sit on your couch and binge-watch basic-cable TV shows all winter. Get on the computer, login to WhatsYourPrice, and pick a partner. There’s nothing like a bit of company to make even the grayest days seem sunny indeed.