Creative Ways to Pay
  • Posted Sep 6, 2012
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Tonight is the night. You’ve met the perfect girl and are looking to knock this one out of the park. After several messages and a little profile sleuthing a la Sherlock Holmes, the night is mapped out from dinner, a little fun and games, and even where you two will enjoy your nightcap with a private view of the city. NPH would be proud.  Except, all this effort is futile unless you pass step number one: the can-be-awkward money exchange. If you see this going pass a first date or simply want to be set apart from other suitors.

She’s sure to remember how thoughtful you were

Here are a few creative way to pay that are sure to make an impression.

For the Intellectuals: Buy her favorite book and place the amount inside.

For the Romantics: Place the amount in a card and attach it to a bouquet of roses.

For the Stylish: Wrap the amount in a scarf made by her favorite designer.

For the Wild-Ones: Join a competition, slip the MC the cash and, when your date’s turn is over, have her proclaimed the winner.

For the Cultured: Find out her favorite genre of music, buy a CD, and place the amount inside.

For the Sweet Tooth: Place the amount inside box of chocolates.

For the Adventurous: Plan a scavenger hunt during your date, place part of the amount with each clue.

For the Extroverts: Place the amount in a card and attach it to a nice bottle of champagne.

Mind your manners and etiquette—let her know if the method you choose will require you to pay during the date. And remember, if you’re having fun, she will too.

What are some other ways to pay your date?
What have you used that has been successful?
Like these dating tips? Share them with your friends!

107 Responses to “Creative Ways to Pay”

  1. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal
    attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements
    but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and
    respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details.

  2. betty says:

    Best way i got my payment was also with my favorite perfume that he asked me what it was in a mail. Very happy girl!

  3. Lore says:

    I liked all those suggestions, except scavenger hunt that would be very awkard. I typically like to get the money part out of the way quickly so we can both relax and enjoy the date. I do like it when a guy makes an effort and puts it in an envelope with a card, having it attached to flowers, perfume, a CD would be outstanding. Just handing me the cash is a bit awkard but, it’s fine.

  4. betty says:

    I hate when you have to ask for it. That is super awkward!

  5. Kira says:

    While these ideas are nice, in my personal experience 2/3 dates from guys who contacted me and offered ($150/200) never payed for the dates, No mention of it. One of them later claimed he “forgot” and would “make it up on the next date” definitely not.

  6. betty says:

    Kira, this is why you should ask for it because most will not offer it up and will use the excuse that they had such a blast they forgot! All lies just to be a scammer. I had one guy tell me he never pays up and that no one complained yet. I did send in a complaint!

  7. Jake says:

    That all sounds good. How i like to do it fold it up into little outfits and just give it to them saying i didn’t know there size etc.

  8. chris says:

    Good one jake.

  9. Raichel says:

    The first date I went in from this website actually ran off without giving me the money once the date was over… shame on him. The best way I’ve received the money was in a card, which actually contained an extra $100 victoria’s secret gift card along with a perfume and roses. Such a perfect gentleman!

  10. Giselle says:

    The scavenger hunt is NOT a good idea! You’ll make her feel like you’re just messing with her, like tugging a string at the end of it!

    My first date made me ask him for it, then jokingly gave it to me bill by bill. It felt awful. Second date in an envelope, right away (that works!). Third date “forgot” and I was too much of an idiot to bring it up (lesson learned), and my fourth date, who was very interested in me, wrote me a sweet message in a card along with the money. I read it on my way home and couldn’t stop smiling!

  11. chris says:

    Turn guys in who do not pay. Go to profile then click scammer and tell what happened.

  12. Kira says:

    The men who purposely go on dates with no intention of actually paying just show what kind of men they truly are, obviously no 2nd date. Just wasting both of our time. My third date was a true gentlemen exactly as he portrayed himself and paid at the end of the date. I personally do not want to have to ask for the $ we both know how we met and what the offer/agreement is. Showing up 80+ lbs heavier than the pic on the profile just makes (him) look like the fool. I want to date someone who is honest not a jack ass with (little class or generosity)

  13. Mine usually is an envelope or card up front with something thoughtful written ahead of time. If you’re smart, you might have more than one ready ahead of time and pick the one closest to how the date ends (or starts!) and give them that one. Guys – you can be real creative with this.

    My next, and hopefully my last, date is with someone I find to be very enchanting – especially with the written word (which means a lot to me). I have exchanged several emails, texts and phone calls with her. The way I intend to proffer it is this….

    She told me early on who one of her favorite actresses is. I searched and found that a critically acclaimed biography was written about this actress by a well known author. Through various contacts I reached out to the author and after explaining my situation, he agreed to give me a hardcover, first edition print he has from his private collection – complete with signature, bookplate with my date’s name on it, and a favorite quote by the actress that embodies her free spirit.

    Since I already know my date plans on going abroad later to continue her studies, I just wanted to give her something very unique that when she looks at it, will bring her right back to the moment in time of our date.

    Whether or not any relationship springs from the date is not the important part. I just want to see the look on her face when I give it to her. To me – the date is about her, not so much me. If it turns into an “us”, I would absolutely welcome it. But – at least I think the presentation of the payment for the date is a little different than most :)


  14. Martin says:

    For Kira and Betty, and anyone else who experienced the same situation. What if you really enjoyed who you were with, and who didn’t want to pay, would you have enjoyed yourself enough to see him again? Also If you weren’t hurting for cash would it be worth it to you to see him again, if and only if you guys connected?

    I went on one date with a girl, and she was looking for someone a little more steady financially while I am a student and Part Time worker. She enjoyed my company, that she offered to keep in contact and help me find someone, but unfortunately she never made the time too. She initially contacted me, but overtime she never did.

    I only payed for her food and she enjoyed that, and I did her wrong by not paying, but I guess we shouldn’t be on this website in the first place. I had more success here than i had on any other website, maybe the incentive of money makes all the difference, but we as guys see that as a lot of money to be paying a girl to just meet us. If I made more maybe I wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable to leave money, as well as weird that I’m paying a woman to see me, but I hope to get a relationship if I am willing to pay someone 100 to 200$ for one night out.

  15. betty says:

    I would be upset. Instant scammer. It is like if i had my hair done at a fancy salon and then told the hairdresser i enjoyed it but i can only pay for the shampoo and conditioner used. I bet i would get a theft of services charge! It would be a scam if i did it with intent to fraud the salon.

  16. rob says:

    betty i love the idear of giving a small gift with the money.

  17. Plzbelieveme says:

    I have tried different methods for delivering the money to them, at the end, up front, in an envelope, it doesn’t matter, the girls are just out for money. It doesnt matter how you pay them. You see 20-1 profiles with sugar/baby relationship, and not a long term thingy. Just proves this site is full of gold diggers. Men beware, you wont find a quality girl on here. Just 1 who wants your money.

  18. chris says:

    And men who want sex. All men do. Human nature. Fwmales like securiry. If you do not provide such thwn they will take the chump change and run. If soneone is not meeting you again it means you suck!

  19. chris says:

    Fat fingers a cell phones suck too!

  20. Heathercanflyy says:

    Everyone goes on this website to get or pay money to have a good time. Obviously you always get the money first. Not all of us are gold diggers, we are just old fashioned and want a nice man to take care of us.

  21. Man2063 says:

    For the first date i went on from this site I tried to pay toward the middle of the date because we were having a great time and it didn’t feel like it would be an awkward thing at that point. To my suprise she said that it wasn’t necessary because she was having a great time and I was already paying for the dinner and movie. She said that she had been on several dates with people that were awful and rude so in those cases she took the money. I feel like that is how it should be on this site. It is kinda like playing blackjack, you put money down because you believe you will get dealt a winning hand and when you do you win your money. I bet “X” amount on an offer that my date would have a great evening an she did so I won my money back that i bet and got another date with her.

  22. enjoyingthis says:


    I understand your feelings about the site, but expecting to find a woman who isn’t at least initially doing it for the money on this site is unrealistic. I just take this site for what it is, with no expectations or judgement. It makes for a much more enjoyable experience, otherwise you’ll just waste your time and money in misery. And if you do meet a woman who wants to stay with you just for you, then the gods are truly with you.

  23. Plzbelieveme says:

    If we arent capable of finding someone of value on here this site becomes worthless. I get more second and third dates off match, which leads me to correctly believe this site is about gold diggers and nothing else. On Match they dont have an objective of taking money, they want to date. I will go ahead and out the Multi accounters by the way. Lin1987 from Houston and Winwin187 from Austin, same girl, same account

  24. RaZor says:

    I was running late for my date so i had no way to purchase a gift, or place it in something fancy, but I still paid more becasue I was running late, I will normally bid less for my dates but will ateleast pay $100, that way I can eliminate the gold diggers and really go out with girls that seem interested, besides in my profile I specifically said I am not interested in a Suggar/baby relationship, but yet thye seem dissapointed with me when I refuse to make their rent, car payments, and monthly allowance. I am not too sold into a long term relationship wither but i do like to go on dates, and so far I am looking for a friendship and an activity partner, If I meet someone who is worth the long term relationship I will tell her that i am interested in more .

  25. betty says:

    I know of one male who also has two accounts active. I wonder why?

  26. Kira says:

    I’m far from a gold digger, never been a sugar baby either. I dont ask for my bills to be paid,car,rent etc… If a man contacts me, makes an offer than doesn’t follow through i wouldn’t go out with him again based on the principal. If i was falsely advertising misleading info, old pictures or fake pictures, i could possible understand a man not paying for my time, for the first date, i obviously wouldn’t expect a second date either. I am honest and expect the same. The 2nd date I had put up old outdated pictures & didn’t pay to top it off. Also put on his profile he is a millionaire, mhhh really? lol I would accept a date from a man with a modest income level or offer if i was attracted to him, profile sounds good. However if your old,fat and not very attractive then clearly you need to entice younger, beautiful women with something.

  27. Eric says:

    As the date begins or is over, simply shake her hand with a hundred dollar bill, and give her a kiss on the cheek. That’s one way, hope she calls you for a second date. I’ve found girls on here who wanted me to pay for the second date. That’s not why I’m on here, I pay for the first date, and that’s all folks.

  28. Eric says:

    It’s also sad that many girls have to make sure or send you a text message, do you have the money or the cash, etc. Come on now, that’s not the way it works. Then, we know you’re in it for the money, not just for dating as well. Or, they text you again, how much were you paying me for the date, how much were you offering me, etc. That’s what bothers me about some of the dates I’ve been on. And, once they go on the date they talk about it, when are you going to pay, etc. Sure, it’s easy to take care of it right away, and then you hope they don’t talk about it anymore, yet the fact your date is going to ask you about it is not good. You should know better, you shouldn’t have to ask, just get it when you do. Be happy you’re getting something.

  29. betty says:

    I need to be paid upfront or else i will call the date short.

  30. Lore says:

    I agree with betty, ALWAYS ask for the money upfront. If they don’t have it walk away. It already cost you gas to get there, and not to mention what we girls go thru to get ready for a date, my nails are always done, I spray tan, I spend good money on clothes and hair. They are not worth your time if they already lied to you about paying what was agreed upon. It’s about integrity.

  31. Bea says:

    I ask that it’s in an envelope on my side of the table before arrival,
    I hate when they had it to you infront of wait staff or leave it out in the open on the table.
    Lately i am finding men that before we even meet ask If I plan on taking the date further and how much that would cost, rude.

  32. betty says:

    Only talk about the money after you show and if he does not hand it over once face to face then excuse yourself right then. I had to do it once. I would have been super pissed if i spent hours flirting just to find out he was scamming me.

  33. austinpet says:

    @plzbelieveme… it seems you have been burned, but not all of us are scammers or “golddiggers”.. if you dont like what this site represents, then go away.. no one is forcing you to stay, and many of us resent the generalizations,, simple as that

  34. hayleegurl says:

    Here’s a nice, somewhat quirky way a guy has paid (not through this site, though): We were dining in a fancy restaurant, and I dropped my napkin. When he reached down to get it for me, he slipped my payment inside, and folded the napkin around it to hide it from prying eyes. Talk about classy and galant!

    The WORST was a date (again not from this site) that took me to a fast-food joint. (He picked me up at the office. I’m not stupid enough to get picked up at my own house for a first date with a stranger). He brought me a “kids” meal, and when I excused myself to “powder my nose” (and hopefully ditch this horrid date), he slipped the money in the little box the meal came in. Had I not seen a flash of green, I would have thrown it out. Thankfully, I had my cell and emergency cash, so I had discretely called a cab to pick me up while “powdering”. I told the dispatcher to tell the driver to come inside, claim an emergency with my daughter, and escort me out (again, safety). He was also a cheap you-know-what, as he had rolled up a bunch of $1′s around a $10 and taped it tightly). Counting the cab fare, the lousy meal, and being stiffed on the money, my “date” ended up COSTING me $38, as I only received $12, a $5 meal, and spent $55 (including tips – a LADY always tipds for good service) on cab fare (from the date, then back to work the next morning).

    Now, I break the ice first thing, usually with a line like “You’re handsome. I hope you didn’t spend all your money on your suit (or flowers, candy, or more frequently now, gas), as you look like you can easily afford a classy Lady like myself.” It’s tactful, and a bit flirty, and usually makes the date feel more at ease. I place the pay in my purse, and out of sight, count it, usually while “checking” my makeup before we leave. If I’ve been stiffed, I’ll set my cell to vibrate, excuse the interruption, and take the “emergency” call that gets me out of the date quickly. I’ll then provide the date with my “business” card, which usually contains the phone number to the nearest rejection hotline, so he can “call later and reschedule”.

    By the way, being transsexual (and bi), I’ve also been stiffed by girls (using that derogatively, as LADIES don’t stiff…), and, believe it or not, this tactic works out well for them, too.

  35. hayleegurl says:

    By the way, Eric, it’s generally assumed, through social customs in more civilized nations, at least, that unless agreed upon prior to the date, the GENTLEMAN takes care of all the finances. It appears that you, sir, are NO GENTLEMAN, especially with comments like “BE GLAD YOU’RE GETTING SOMETHING” and “YOU’LL GET IT WHEN (read “IF”) YOU GET IT”. Good luck dating. You’ll probably only end up with Hannah and her four sisters with that kind of attitude.

  36. hayleegurl says:

    I like your style, RaZor. $100, at least in this area, will buy a very nice dinner for two at a mid-priced restaurant (Clili’s, Appleby’s, The Outback), a movie, WITH REFRESHMENTS, and still leave me with enough money left over for my cab fare (I’m not medically cleared to drive), a nice haircut, or a manicure.

  37. hayleegurl says:

    @Plzbelieveme: Ouch! That’s kind of hurtful, and VERY PREJUDICED, don’t you think? But then again, a “good” date to you is probably ‘za or burgers, then bowling. Women want men that they can trust to make them seem secure. Being cheap sends a message that “I’m just doing this for sex, and you mean absolutely NOTHING to me – as a lady, or a human being”. A lady’s self-worth is REINFORCED by a gentleman that treats her like she actually has some worth. For me, it’s not the money, per se, but the fact that he thinks I’m a worthy investiment. And, for those dates where nothing seems to “click”, it at least is tangible proof that he at least put some effort, time, and thought into planning an enjoyable evening.

    And if the date’s going well, I might even pick up the tab. The proffered payment helps to ease that burden, and somewhat balances the control of power. It actually takes work for a lady to look good for a gentleman. Perfume, makeup, hose, powder, hair, nails, a nice outfit, and approprate accessories (tasteful jewelry, a purse or clutch, hair accessories) are all expenses that (most) men don’t have to worry about. An “average” date, in which I prepare myself beforehand, can cost me upwards of $75-$100, an expense I DON’T get back if the date’s a cheapscate, so the money I ask for, for the most part, just barely covers my preparation expenses, as I’m sure many ladies on this site can attest. We LIKE to look the best that we can, not just for our dates, but for our own well-being as well.

  38. Noelle says:

    It is incredibly awkward when you have to ask to be paid.. Doesn’t feel classy in the least!

  39. hayleegurl says:

    @Noelle: Notice that I didn’t, directly, ask to be paid. I played coy, and with a flirty hint, subtly defused a very awkward moment.

  40. niceguy says:

    While I don’t condone men not paying up on a date, it’s funny how some of the ladies that are complaining about the cheap men are obviously serial first daters. “Betty” for example, is coming across like a professional escort based on her comments (I mean that in the non sexual sense).

    Don’t hate on the guys if you’re not being honest and up front that you are just using the site as a source of income, rather than as a means to meet people.

  41. magno says:

    Nice Guy,

    I took a little bit of grief for stating that I will only engage with the Ladies on this site that tender offers, rather than ‘wink’ at me.

    It is not a surefire method of screening out the serial first daters, but thus far, it’s proven to be effective.

    I have proof that a portion…notice, I said a portion, of Ladies on this site simply use a shotgun approach and wink incessantly. It’s sad, but I have had to block 6 women who kept winking at me in rapid succession…sometimes 4, 5, 6 times after I have rejected their winks.

    It’s too easy for women to sit back and go on a wink campaign, hoping a few Gentlemen will take the bait. I don’t believe in playing the numbers game in the real world (always have preferred dating one on one, one woman at a time), and I won’t play the numbers on this, or any other site, either.

    The thinking goes, if a woman is serious in her intentions of attracting, and getting acquainted with a quality person, she will invest a little of her resources for a subscription, and bypass the whole wink nonsense.

    The wink is utterly useless, and absurd. What are we, in middle school? When a generous member ‘wink’s’ at an attractive member, that member is scorned and ridiculed for not having the gumption to tender an offer.

    Well, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander, I say.

    Please, ladies, no more winks! It states on my profile that winks will be ignored.

    Nobody seems to bother to read profiles anymore, though.

    It’s a sad commentary on our society.

  42. chris says:

    The whole point is to have fun and enjoy meeting new people!

  43. Lore says:

    @niceguy, I don’t think your comments towards betty is a fair assessment, I have dated from this site several times, and for me I am looking for my last first date, but sometimes you have to go out with several people first to find that “one”. And like many of the women mentioned on here it costs us between $75-$100 to get ready for a date, we like to look good, nails, hair, spray tans, clothes, perfume, shoes, jewelry and now a days gas is a concern. So not only if a guy show’s up that we are very excited to meet and he doesn’t pay we are VERY disappointed on several different levels, and once you have been stiffed you start changing unfortunately how you deal with a guy. Once the money is passed, I can relax and enjoy my date.

  44. Lore says:

    Wow I just got a $50 offer, from a guy in Philly, who supposedly makes between 300k-400k, and is looking for a sugar baby. UMMM….yea RIGHT!!! I guess the hooker on the corner turned down the offer and he though he’d try online. *smh*

    Now if he had an awesome profile,and was looking for a relationship, then heck yea, I would consider it.

  45. Adventure Chick says:

    My favorite ways of getting the money:
    1) it was folded and put in a deck of small playing cards – adorable and fun conversational gift (given during the date)
    2) wrapped tightly around the stem of a rose (given upon meeting)
    3) in a card given with a rose (and given upon meeting)

    Other than these most usually give just cash in hand or under the table. I understand what you ladies are saying about liking to get “get it out of the way” and “get it upfront” – and yes it is a bit awkward… but that is true no matter when you get the money.

    If it doesn’t get offered right away by my date – I don’t like to ask for it at the start. I think that tarnishes the mood. Relax, enjoy a nice lunch or dinner… and then at the end of the date if he still has not given the money – that when I mention the “gift.”

    I have been on this site for about 2months and so far I have been fortunate to not have any “scammers”… Knock on wood of course. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I try and vet out a person before a date.

    Good luck and happy dating :-)

  46. scottw says:

    I think men should pay half up-front and the rest at the end of the date. Put it in a card! If the date doesn’t go well then you should not have agreed to the price.

  47. Bluepearl says:

    I love the ideas…. :) Very cute! And yes… i hate when a man puts his profile on a dating website like this and then acts like he’s offended or doesn’t want to go by the rules.

  48. MizzJuliana says:

    I am new here.. I still never had a first date… that would be so nice if a date went well and it would be inside a perfume box a special perfume that I would like.. thats nice.. awww

  49. Plzbelieveme says:

    lol just got refunded 20 credits for a scammer, profile said Missouri, then said last logged in from Malaysia……

  50. Iggy says:

    Sounds to me like trying to start relationship with hooker or stripper, isn’t a bit awkward? I’m pretty sure most of girls here have a “normal” boyfriend who does not pay them nothing, and none of the girls is planning on having a relationship with a dude who pays for a date. So it’s a scam from the beginning.

    Guys, is anyone started relationship this way?

  51. chris says:

    I used to spend loads of money on cam girls thinking she might meet me. This site i have a chance.

  52. Martin says:

    Guys and Girls, I think the biggest mistake is worrying too much about how you approach giving the money, give it after the date but in a manner you feel comfortable like you were friends, also I put my income level at a million as a joke… lol.

    I better change that now that I read a post by kira believing that someone makes over a million, My pictures don’t represent a millionaire. haha. but kira would prob know that. also ya I agree with the men that the first date you pay and I hope that they come back for a second one.

    and yes, keep it cheap like a 100 bucks or so, the rest are looking for someone to support them, its so obvious even the pictures she looks to be enticing you. hah. but my advice guys if your on here don’t be so thoughtless or secretly upset, it will only affect what you will approach the girl about… be yourself and at the end or beginning give her the money at a comfortable area and time, don’t make it feel like a business to you… otherwise I think you won’t feel it from her. Today I will be going on a date, I hope it goes well


  53. Al says:

    If we arent capable of finding someone of value on here this site becomes worthless. I get more second and third dates off match, which leads me to correctly believe this site is about gold diggers and nothing else. On Match they dont have an objective of taking money, they want to date. I will go ahead and out the Multi accounters by the way. Lin1987 from Houston and Winwin187 from Austin, same girl, same account

    Can’t argue this one iota. I cancelled my membership after using 30 of 100 credits. I went out once for a lunch date with the Houston version of that gal. Fair enough she was, but I don’t think she was “all that” enough to fire me of a $300 offer at first. She accepted the $150 I put out, which is what someone with her “credentials” (not much, really) should be more than happy to take. If I remembered her profile right, she’ll go out on a first date with you even if you don’t bathe regularly. Blech. For $300…and her being divorced, I better be getting treated well afterwards! I don’t have money because I waste it.

    That one was at least better than the Dallas teacher who thought my $150 was not enough and promptly put on her profile that she needed $300 or more per date so she could pay her rent. No dice, sweetcheeks. Not driving halfway across the state to enjoy myself and to be her welfare check. NOT sorry. She hadn’t been active for a while before I checked out, so hopefully she moved to a cheaper pad willingly…

    So, I get that concern. The site idea is cool, but a ton of POF rejects make it not worthwhile. If a gal isn’t going to treat me in return and she offers little in terms of personality…what’s the use?

    Just handing over cash in my cash seemed fair enough in my case. Lin must have gotten stiffed previously.

  54. Al says:

    Motherfreaking Octomom is on this site? Really? Now, I know I can’t take this site seriously…that is absolutely what is on the top of my browse…I kid you not!

  55. Plzbelieveme says:

    How much is Octo going for ? She has 14 kids man !

  56. Plzbelieveme says:

    I will say this tho guys, watch out for the girls, who email you and give you a email address, they are prolly scammers.

    FYI, I got stood up tonight…..sigh……………

  57. chris says:

    You guys talk about gold diggers but the negative attitude comes off like a seasoned john. Not a man looking for love.

  58. Lore says:

    I would agree that there are many woman on this site that are scammers and looking for only money. I’M not! I have started at least 2 relationships from this site, but what ended up dooming it was the distance. I’m sure there are many woman like me looking for a relationship, and you probably will experience a lot of the gold diggers and scammers because they are aggressive! So if you are looking for a real relationship then I suggest don’t put your income, and don’t check the box that say’s sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship. I’m sure those woman are doing a search on those 2 particular criteria. Lastly, if you don’t get a 2nd date don’t assume the woman was a scammer, it could have simply been that there was no chemistry. I have gone out with many guys that it was like pulling teeth to get them to talk, or they talked way to much and I couldn’t get a word in, or they didn’t look like their pic. I do understand someone can be nervous going on a date, but if you come across arrogant or insulting, you won’t get a 2nd date.

  59. MissLino says:

    Although this has nothing to do with the topic of this blog (my apologies), I have a question for those of more experience with this. I’ve been on this site for some months, somewhat lurking. I’ve gotten offers, but honestly I can’t accept a date with a man I’m not at least SOMEWHAT attracted to. I’ve accepted one offer before a few months ago but the guy stopped texting back when we were about to set up a date. Oh well. So, anyways I finally got an offer for a man that I thought looked attractive a few days ago. Profile seemed normal enough. I told him $40 for the date, which I figured would cover gas, and he accepted. Now, in the first message this man sends me, is first two sentences are “Hi how are you? Would you like a back massage?”. What the hell? A back massage? First date? Am I just being overly sensitive, or would you say this is a red flag?

  60. Martin says:

    Ok, I got scammed pretty bad tonight… i take back what i said in my previous thread. This girl named Olga-LA, who now blocked me, didn’t look like the young attractive, and nice body pics, that she posted.

    she was older, had lots of wrinkles and unattractive to boot. She rushed me for a 15 min date! at a coffee shop, and was persistant in taking my money, she lied about going on a second date on a hike, and it was terrible from there. I immediately found out after the date she wasn’t interested because she knew I wasn’t going to an expensive place to eat, but she took my 90 dollars and never wanted to see me again.

    I was scammed becasue she was NOT ATTRACTIVE, NOT LIKE PICS.

    Please if you ever go on a bad date, DO NOT pay her! I felt so guilty and she didn’t even care is the worst part, now i’m down money and wasted time. If you ever get a date from her do me a favor take back my money and message me at kingmarty50 on this site.

    haha. :)

  61. RaZor says:

    No that guy is creepy and you should probably accept a date from a guy who is an 8 or so, if you are willing to date a 10 that is going to give you a back massage then money should not be an issue. maybe you should sign up as a sugar mama, and look for attractive guys you can pay to go out with.

  62. RaZor says:

    @hayleegurl, what area are you talking about? what I meant to say was that I will pay atleast $100 for a date with any girl I go out with, but i will always bid for a lesser ammount, and if the girl accepts a $50 offer from me, than she is probably interested in more than just money. And ofcourse I will pay for all the drinks, food, transportation, Disney tickets, or any other stuff that we agreed to do. But I draw the line when you take me to the store and want me to buy you a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. ( and yes it has happened )
    I also dont really accept winks from someone who doesn’t even read my profile, because they probably are just winking at everyone and making this site their primary source of income.

  63. RaZor says:

    I know girls spend a lot of time and money to go out on dates, but really it all depends what type of date you are going out on, its gets hot in the summer so I normally like to go out and be comfortable and I am a blue collar guy who makes pretty decent money and likes to go out on dates. So as long as I like to be comfortable I am not going out with my boat shoes because I dont own a boat, Sorry girls. Besides I get sea sick.
    I think this site is great and I will continue using it until I find what I am looking for. And I am not looking for a sugar babe or a girl who is interested in a discreet affair.

  64. RaZor says:

    @ Al, Really that same girl sent me a $150 offer, Did you go out on a second date? I found out that on this site I can normally either find a pretty decent friend to go out with and chill, or a nice looking decent girl to date and get to know her better> Oh and there is one more type of girl I found here, the type that only wants your money, and I stay away from those. I am yet to go out with a girl who is not attractive. Which ones have you found?

  65. betty says:

    All the guys i have met and seen profiles of are not attractive at all! the whole point of the site is the money gives you a chance. If all girls waited for a hot guy to offer then no one would be dating off of here. ~ truth ~

  66. lovelylori says:

    I just joined this site yesterday and today I’m going through it to get myself better aquainted with it and what I have found is that the men feel resentful for having to pay for a date with a beautiful woman. If you don’t want to pay for a date with a beuatiful woman then simply don’t. Stop complaining about it. All you have to do is correctly decifer the profile of the prospective woman to figure out if she is only looking for money or if she is the genuine article. If her profile says sugar babby and you can’t afford it, then don’t bid. If I can’t afford a Tiffany bracelet I simply will not buy it. How hard is that concept? I am not looking for a sugar daddy, I am looking for a man that is serious about finding a good woman but I have found on the other sites that the guys were only looking for sex and as an extremely attractive female I am sick and tired of having my time wasted by men. My time is valuable.

  67. Cristina says:

    Im just curious as to how real this site is…
    I’m a very attractive girl, but I don’t think I can ever ask
    Someone for money just to take me out on a date… I mean
    Wtf does it sound like when u tell a man. Ur going to
    Have to pay me 200$ to go on a date with me smh lol
    This site sounds so creepy. Lol

  68. MissLino says:


    I dont even understand what the hell you’re talking about, but it sounds stupid. Next.

  69. magno says:


    I could be off base here, but it sounds like what Razor is trying to say is…..

    In every instance, regardless of how attractive (a 10) a Gentleman happens to be, if he opens a conversation with the suggestion of a back rub, he is, at best, socially awkward, and at worst, a very strange bird to avoid.

    The suggestion is a Gentleman that is attractive, but not gorgeous (an 8) might possess a tad more charm, charisma, personality, and be more adept in social settings….

    and that if your standards are such that you prefer only entertaining the idea of accepting dates on this site that are perfect 10′s physically, your odds of finding such are greater if you sign up as a sugar mama, because perfect 10 Gentlemen are less likely to feel the need to sign up as a generous member to be successful in dating an equally attractive female counterpart.

    It is a bit of a personal projection, but nonetheless, a worthwhile presumption to ponder.

    His post is not that difficult to decipher, once you excuse the grammar issues contained within his prose and style of written communication.

  70. BlueAithne says:

    I just joined out of curiosity. In all honesty, I put “sugar daddy/baby” on my profile, and did NOT put “long term relationship” on there. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to go out having sex, or that I’m looking for a rich man to pay for my every whim. I don’t “look” for meaningful relationships, I look for meaningful FRIENDSHIPS then let stuff develop thereafter. I’m a working girl, and make very little money. In reality, I’m LOW MAINTENANCE relative to most women I know, so a “sugar daddy” to me is used lightly lol. To men complaining about paying for dates, why bother joining a site where you pay to go on dates? XD The money doesn’t even really matter to me, I like to meet new people and this seemed like an interesting way to do it!

  71. Plzbelieveme says:

    LOL, at these Noob Gold diggers just signing up, then coming to the blogs and defending themselves and the site……GTFO

  72. tom says:

    Ok ladies when a guy takes you on a date and things go well, Do not tell the guy you are interested in seeing him again if you really are not interested. I have had multiple dates do that to me. I then a few days later try to set up another date and never hear back. That makes me feel that they just wanted my money. If you are not interested in seeing a certain guy again just say so! Do not lead the guy on! How would you feel if a guy did the same to you? It works both ways…

  73. chris says:

    Tom, the money was payment for the first date. You did not buy her forever. It was a chance to be face to face. No chemistry her way and i am sure she was just being kind and not rude by pretending so. Most females do this to avoid getting themselves caught up in public drama. Some men can be aggresive when rejected.

  74. anonymous says:


    The way to handle the non confrontational public drama is for the lady to quickly do a 180 degree turnabout as soon as she is safely in her car and on her way home. She can then immediately send the Gentleman a message, thanking him for his time, but expressing regret that she doesn’t feel there is enough of a spark for her to continue in the process for a second date.

    That seems reasonable to me, rather than leaving the Gentleman hanging, as Tom eluded to.

  75. Kat says:

    Guys: most women probably are here for a sugar daddy. why else is she like Ya pay me to date you… Come on guys use your brains. the important part is finding one who is at least honest of why she feels she needs or wants a sugar daddy and you both agree on the terms. You want something more I suggest you go to another site. And yes I came here looking for a sugar daddy (custody battle with mother in law) my husband passed away. But to find one guy I click with and we take care of each other so be it. it’s a win win as I see it and I don’t have to shake my ass in a club somewhere… In the end if you think about it that’s what a good marriage is all about anyways right. Keeping each other happy no matter what that might be. When their happy your happy right?

    And Ladies come on grow up there’s jerks everywhere. You gotta filter them out some how every where you go…

  76. BlueAithne says:


    You’re acting rather pathetic. All you do is attack people and complain on the blogs. Me? I’m not a “gold digger”. I’m just interested in meeting people. If they’re willing to pay to do so, then odds are I wouldn’t be stood up so easily. If some beneficial relationship should develop I’m not gonna turn it down, but that doesn’t make me a gold digger, as I’m not digging. So next time you want to call someone a “noob” at anything, try 4chan. Maybe you can find a date there. -.-

  77. Pat says:

    Has anyone had a second date from this site? I have had a similar issue that Tom had. I mean ladies if you are not interested just say so or better yet just dont say anything at all! I dont like being led on as well…

  78. Martin says:

    @ lovelylori, hey I’m in CA, if you are an attractive female, look me up, and wink me. kingmarty50. i’m looking. hey it won’t be a 100 bucks, but it will be a fun and classy gentleman.

    @ Blueaithne same for you blue, i’m searching all the time, if your in CALI, shoot me a wink, i’ll respond with an offer.

    @ tom and pat, sorry i just went on a date, she wasn’t like her pics at ALL, she was old, and lied to me that she was interested took my 90 bucks and ran. She even threatened me over text to leave her alone. Very bad, and i’m sure she is getting what she deserves in life… so just rmber that to those woman too.

  79. newfemale says:

    i have a question for the females of the site. do you feel obligated to have sexual relations with the man after the first date? have you? i am worried about accepting a date and then feeling like i am in the position to do something sexual with him when that’s not my style

  80. CooPerson says:


    I don’t have an account here or ever had one but a person doesn’t need to experience this site to advise you too never feel obligated to ‘put out’ under the conditions and setup of this online dating site.

    If you give this site a try, keep in mind that it’s a possibility you might find yourself on at least one date or a few with a member that feels their money has baught you.
    Just remove yourself from such an awkward situation -never allow another person to pressure you. It’s not your fault if they aren’t following the rules of the site or understand it’s purpose and attempts to twist it to benefit their power trips.

    Way I see it;
    The females on this site owe the males nothing if they can’t behave like a decent person. -If a girl gets paid for her time but needs to cut the date short because she can’t tolerate the company she should hand the money back and just get out.
    vice versa
    If a girl is late, looking drasticly different than photos, acting drasticly different than their profile -she should settle for appreciating a free meal and forget about the time payment.

  81. chris says:

    Martin, i am wondering why you even want to see again if she is so old and does not look like her pictures. You have me shaking my head on that one. You should be glad. First warning sign is hot girls would not meet for only 90.00? !

  82. Ray says:

    I think from a man’s perspective you have to be prepared to pay for a beautiful woman’s time and take the risk that it will not evolve into something more. It is just company for the moment! I think that to be able to easily meet a lovely girl for dinner and give $100 for her company is a no brainer. Men, if you cannot afford to take care of a woman financially then you need not be on this site. If you are not the truly generous type, you should not be on this site. Men who are predisposed to caring for a woman and to lavish her with attention and gifts in return for her womanly charms belong here. During your first date, you pay the girl up front in a discreet manner and take your chances that she is for real and at the very least you have a pleasant time with her. You cannot expect her to want to see you again unless she likes you for some reason. And be prepared to pay again! I love it. I don’t have time to hang out in bars looking for girls- this is perfect for a sucessful gentleman who understands and accepts the risks and benefits of this site- I always have a great selection of beautiful woman to meet and just enjoy a woman’s company with no expectations. If something blossoms, great! If you cannot handle the reality of this site then take off and leave all the great woman here to me!

  83. Bill says:

    Question from someone very new to this site: Are the generous gents obligated to also pay for a second date? Meaning, after the 1st date you both agree to meet again (in the hopes both parties had a good time), is there another payment expectation or is the payment intended to be only for the introduction?

  84. betty says:

    Bill, i have been paid for second dates as well and a few times no payment offered. Everyone seems to have different rules. For that reason my profile is for sugar relationships only as i have zero time for full blown relationships nor do i need the drama of cooking and cleaning for a man.

  85. Magno says:

    My view: this site is designed to compensate the attractive member for time, and miscellaneous expenses associated with presenting a positive first impression during a first meeting/date.

    The whole premise behind asking to be paid again for subsequent meetings/dates becomes dangerous terrain, and a potential breeding ground for abuse.

    Scenario: “You seem like an interesting man/woman, but I am not sure yet if we might be a good match. I think it might benefit us to get together again. Do you mind adhering to the same agreement for our second date?”

    Then, the same song and dance three quarters of the way through the second date….”oh, I really like you, but i am concerned about a few things about you, do you think…”

    So the generous member springs for a third paid date, and all the while, the attractive member can’t stand to be in the same room with the generius member….and has known this from 5 minutes unto their FIRST meeting.

    Unscrupulous people with a lack of moral fiber and integrity have been playing trusting, unsuspecting people since the beginning of time.

    It’s bad enough when an attractive member agrees to go out on a paid date with a generous member she KNOWS isn’t her type in the first place. But to string it along? That’s just plain cruel.

    I will offer to spring for the second date, but it won’t be in the form of a cash payment. If I really like the wiman, and I sense things are progressing to the point where a relationship may ensue, I will also consider springing for a third date on my tab.

    By the fourth date, assuming we are indeed headed for a relationship, then I expect the woman to at least offer to go Dutch. If she is offended by the notion of me paying the way through tge first three dates, then things aren’t going to change from that point forward, and I don’t ever want to feel like just a wallet to anyone.

    A little effort in making a man feel special and desired go a long way.

    So I say no way to the expectation of a cash payment for a second, third, or subsequent dates.

    Life is too ahort for a man to not feel appreciated for who he is.

  86. betty says:

    A man should always pay regardless! Manners are number one!

  87. betty says:

    Sounds like mango that you only pay to impress from the start and then it goes downhill. Not to worry….this is how most men are and why we get upset with a change in treatment. Go dutch from the start to show how you really are so the girls will not waste time thinking you are a great guy.

  88. Magno says:


    It sounds as if you have experienced some shoddy treatment from men in the past, and it is clouding your reasoning at this particular juncture.

    As luck would have it, I re-connected today with a lovely woman I met on a chance encounter nearly two years ago through mutual friends in my social circle. I wasn’t in the dating mode at that time.

    A few days ago, out of the blue, this woman sent me a message on one of the traditional dating sites I am on. In her message, she told me….”wow, you are a very attractive man. It’s too bad there is too much of an age difference between us.”

    It took me a few minutes, but I recognized her as the very same woman that made such an impression on me nearly two years ago! When I responded, letting her know that I recognized her as someone I met, and referenced her name, the evening, and the occasion, she then said that she now remembered me, too.

    She sent me her phone number. I called. We talked for two hours. I asked her what her schedule looked like for the coming week. She said she was slated to visit friends out of state, but said she was free Tuesday (today).

    I met her for lunch at a sushi place with a dozen roses in hand, greeted her with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek.

    As we were parting, she insisted on picking up the tab for lunch, since having lunch was HER idea. On my wat home, I sent her a text of thanks, with a picture of a smiley face giving a hug. She rsponded she would like to see me again upon her return home from her out if state trip to visit her girlfriend and her husband.

    A half hour later, she sent me a text with picture of the roses I presented to her, and thanked me again.

    This woman is a professional sole practitioner that doesn’t ‘need’ a man to take care of her financially, or otherwise. She is simply at a place in her life where having a companion/boyfriend would be “really nice.”

    Don’t underestimate the signal a strong, confident, independent, self sufficient, successsful modern woman sends when she asserts herself (asking me out), and insists on picking up the tab.

    I already knew she was really attractive. After today, and after talking with her in the phine a couple of times, I think she is downright sexy!

    If you are interested in engaging with a quality Gentleman, try meeting him half way some time. I am not saying you have to do this on the first, or second dates, but try going Dutch on tge third date to show you appreciate the man, not just his wallet, or what he can do for you.

    Next up, I will find out what her favorite perfume, body lotion, or type if dress is, and surprise her again with one of the afirementioned.

  89. betty says:

    Mango, you mentioned she was on a visit to see her husband? At least you found a match and can get off this site you seem to always talk down on anyway.

  90. Magno says:


    No, sorry, I guess the way I worded it, it sounded like that. She is visiting with her female friend, and that female friend’s husband. She was divorced 12 years ago, and single.

    I haven’t talked smack at all about this site. I din’t know where you get that from.

    The only thing I said in one of my posts on these blogs is….I feel there is too much of a wide variation of the kind of relations/objectives people seek on this site, but that isn’t much different from the traditional sites, either.

    If anything, I am not all that keen on internet dating in general. It is just so difficult to engage with women who don’t already have preconceived notions as to who a man is, based on his pictures, and the contents of his profile. The reverse is true of the men perusing female profiles, as well.

    It is true that I am meeting quality women outside of this, and other sites, but I don’t ever like to limit myself.

    I don’t mind adhering to outdated social protocol and treating a Lady on outings the first few times out, in order to ascertain whether or not continued relations of some fashion is mutually desired, but the one sided relationship will grow old real quick after around the third or fourth date, is all I am saying.

    In my opinion, it has been my experience in recent years, that if a woman is at least moderately successful and self sufficient, then she does not want a man to pay her way all the time. She wants to feel appreciated, respected, admired, and desired….but not controlled or made to feel like a kept woman.

    Two of the last three women I have dated from my social circle have offered to treat me by the third date by picking up the tab. The third one said she enjoyed my company, but as a friend. Didn’t feel a ‘spark’. That happens.

    I suppose the point I am trying to make is…don’t bag on a Gentleman on this site for feeling he is only obligated to offer a cash donation to tge woman for the FIRST meeting/date….especially if, as with me, his stated objective is ‘friendship/activity partner’.

    If he has ‘sugardaddy/sugarbaby’ as his dating objective, the maybe the parameters are much different.

    In that case, it us reasonable to possibly expect an alternative arrangement.

    But I have to tell you, if a woman’s profile states her objective for ‘long term relations/marriage’, ‘short term’, ‘casual, no strings’, or ‘friendship/activity partner’, then my mindset is the woman is NOT looking for a man to present cash payment compensation beyond the first meeting…perhaps she, based on outdated, antiquated social etiquette, assumes a man will treat her to several dates. And that is fine. I have no problem with that, to sime extent is the woman is sincere and genuine in her intentions.

    What I don’t understand is why women on this site with sugarbaby intentions send winks to men that are seeking friendship/activity partners. My profile is bombarded with winks from women I have absolutely no interest in engaging with.

    It’s pretty simple: if an attractive member is seeking an arrangement, then he/she needs to narrow their focus, rather than taking a blanketed shotgun approach.

    Not everyone on here is on this site for the same purpose and objective. In fact, as I said, tge reasons are quite varied.

    I pay cash for a first meeting on this site, and treat the Lady for subsequent outings WITHOUT cash payment donation, then after three or four dates, assess whether a relationship is on the horizon. If not, and tge woman wishes to continue engaging as friends, then I expect her to meet me half way and contribute. Otherwise, I wish to focus my time and energy elsewhere.

    I believe that is fair and reasonable.

  91. betty says:

    All of my female friends agree that if they do offer to pay and the guy lets her. She is secretly upset that he let her pay.

  92. Magno says:


    I don’t know what to tell you. My date yesterday insisted on picking up the tab for our first date, and later made plans to see me again when she gets back from her visit with friends out of state.

    If you treat a Lady right, she won’t have a problem desiring to be a man’s equal. One small gesture of that is meeting a man half way at some point (hopefully, after the first three dates).

    Relationships should be based on equal footing. If a woman offers to pay, I will put up initial resistence. But if she INSISTS on picking up the tab, I am not going to continue resisting. To do so would be insulting to her.

    Another lady friend of mine treated me to dinner and a play at a town Opera House Saturday night. This is a woman I dated a few times back in February. We didn’t become a romantic item, but have remained good friends since those dates, and we enjoy each other’s company.

    She was not angry (secretly, or otherwise) that I allowed her to treat me to a really nice out on the town. She is a professional woman, and has the means to reciprocate from the times I have done things for her.

    The key is, I do things for my friends without any expectation of return in kind. You do because you want to do, not for any ulterior motives. So when someone DOES express a desire to return in kind, I do not deny them, for I realize it makes them feel good about doing it.

    Life is a sad world for those that feel everything is owed to them, simply based upon their gender.

    I enjoy forming healthy, meaningful, thoughtful relations with people based on genuine affection, care, and respect.

    I would do anything for my Lady friends, and I think it probably shows in everything I do.

    If you and your lady friends are upset when a Gentleman accepts your offer to go Dutch, or outright treat, then don’t offer. If it is a game, if it is not genuine, then don’t do it.

    I have no interest at this time in my life to invest a considerable amount of my time, energy, and emotions on relations that are centered around money. In recent years, I have lost a few close friends to untimely deaths. Life is too short to not connect with others in an entirely genuine, heartfelt manner.

    To each his/her own, but the sugardaddy/sugarbaby arrangement would not be emotionally fulfilling for me.

    I am seeking a friend, a companion, and an equal.

  93. Bill says:

    Thank you Magno and betty for your dialogue to my original post…your feedbacks have put this site and it’s intent into an array of perspective.
    And Magno, I give you kudos for I can’t help but agree with some of your points…hopefully, there are some women out there who share your ideals.
    And betty, I do understand your point as well. And with all respect and no insult intended, I can’t agree with your points. After reading your initial response, I asked myself, “why would a man continue to pay to see a lady (outside of picking up the dinner tab, gifts, etc.) knowing she is only looking for financial gain?’ Unless he is only looking for the materiality/temporary satisfaction the female is offering in the encounter, in which case, a man with some ideals would eventually end the whole communications? I just can’t understand how not agreeing to constantly pay to see someone disqualifies them as a “gentleman”. Sorry, but just my thoughts.

  94. betty says:

    A man should always pay a girls way if they go out. Period! ~~ i am a sugar baby so money is why i am online dating. I can get a man checking my mail box. Men are easy to find. A generous one is not.

  95. Magno says:

    I am generous to those I hold dear to my heart. An emotional and spiritual connection take time to develop.

    The way Betty views the world, a woman, by happenstance of being female, is entitled to be the recipient of lavish generosity, regardless of the nature of the relations.

    I am sorry, but A desire to give of myself to a woman I just met is impossible.

    If I understand her viewpoint, Betty is suggesting a man should throw caution to the wind and give of himself to a total stranger, on the chance that down the road, the woman may develop a desire to engage in a friendship/relationship with him at some point.

    That just doesn’t make any sense. There, based on stastistics, and the law of averages, that the Gentleman may decide after a few dates that there is no romantic compatibility.

    Why in the world would a man throw money at a woman BEFORE ascertaining whether or not he even enjoys being with her?

    Like I said, I am generous to those close to me that I appreciate and cherish.

    It takes me 3 or 4 dates sometimes to gauge whether or not I am attracted to the woman. It makes no sense to make outlandish plans right out of the gate after tge first date.

    I don’t have any problem treating my Lady to a nice evening out on the town…but a stranger grom the internet is going to have to cool her heels and give us an opportunity to become well acquainted.

    Sorry, that’s my viewpoint….but then again, I admittedly bring a different mindset because I happen to like women, and enjoy their company, and have no interest in engaging in the cold and personal suggardaddy/sugarbaby arrangement.

    Life is too short to not be actively seeking a soul mate.

  96. chris says:

    This site the man is called generous.

  97. Magno says:


    Not true. There are generous females (albeit, smaller in number) on this site also seeking attractive male members. As a generous male, you just aren’t able to search for the generous female, is all. And vice versa.

  98. chris says:

    It does not say. Cheap male. Get the point now?

  99. Magno says:

    No Chris, unfortunately I don’t, since I an among those who are generous.

    The point being, this site designates both males and females as being Generous, and both makes and females as being attractive.

    I would take a wild guess and say that suggesting a generius female on here that is cheap might not go iver so well.

    It’s the way of the world, I suppose, but if one of the attractive male members should counter a low ball offer from a generous female, then that is exactly what the suggestion would infere…fair or not.

    While we are on the subject, I do not quite understand why a generous member offer of $150 for a 20 minute coffee date is considered cheap.

    I can’t tell you how many times a $300 counter offer is returned.

    That just seems exorbitant if I happen to have the urge to gracefully cut the meeting short after 10 minutes.

    That is not being cheap. It is being logical and reasonable.

  100. chris says:

    I can not understand mango. I think you are beating a dead horse here.

  101. Magno says:


    Sometimes two people just have divergent viewpoints on issues/matters. When this occurs, coming to an understanding/consensus proves difficult.

    As such, rather than ‘beating a dead horse’ as you say, (exhausting precious time trying to enlighten one another) I agree that the best action to take is to move on to another topic of discussion.

    I am not an internet cowboy, so the subject is now closed.

  102. Melpomene says:


    Ok, she asked you to lunch, so she was right to offer to pay…but I agree that on a date, the guy should always pay. AND, your friend might well have been expecting you to decline her offer – though it sounds as though she was fine with it Ladies can reciprocate with packing a picnic, making dinner, baking a cake, etc. That’s just proper dating etiquette.

    I only offer to pay when I’m clearly not into a guy and want to make sure he knows he’s in the friend zone at best.


  103. Magno says:


    Your points are valid, but I always make it clear to the ladies I spend time with that my expectation is that they understand I am looking for friendship. If they desire more than that from me, and I am attracted to them, then I am open to the possibility down the road at some point of more developing.

    If they can’t invest the time in hetting to know me first as a friend, and then companion, and then eventually, a romantic interest, then I understand.

    I just got home from a night out dancing with friends. We went out for a late night dinner after wards, and one of my lady friends offered to pick up the tab for my meal. She and I have been good friends for awhile, and I did not put up much resistence, and permitted her to proceed in paying. One of my male friends picked up the tab for another lady friend in our social circle….someone I dated previously for 4 months.

    I am in my mid 40′s, so I am well aware of the dating expectations, and social etiquette. If I ask someone out on a date, and it is for romantic purposes, or intent, then I will always pick up the tab for the first three dates. By the fourth date, I usually can tell if I am attracted to the woman, and am open to the possibility of being more than friends down the road.

    By the fourth date, if a woman hasn’t offered to go Dutch, then I will only consider her for friendship, and communicate such with her, and the expectation I have for an equal partnership, should she desire more than friendship from me. The majority of the time, in my experience, the Ladies I date haven’t had an issue with it.

    It’s all in how a man presents himself, and explains why this is important to him, really.

    I agree that it is a little rare for a woman to ask a man out for a first date, as was the case with my lunch date on Tuesday, but it happened, and it made sense that she would pick up the tab. She expressed interest in seeing me again next week, so I will ask her out, and pick up the tab. If I continue to enjoy her company, and figure out by then if I am attracted to her, then I will pick up the tab for our third date.

    But if she wants to go Dutch, I am fine with that. During our phone conversation, she already told me she doesn’t ‘need’ for financial, or other reasons, but it would be nice to have a companion.

    A woman that doesn’t need a man is alluring to me.

  104. Marie says:

    Honestly, the sugar baby aspect is really being talked down on here. It’s quite simple really: if the Generous Male in question lists that he is looking for a mutually beneficial relationship, that’s what they’re here for. If they list they’re here for long term relationships, that’s just what it is. When I see that, though, I run for the hills, because that’s not what I’m here for. I’m not going to sit here and harass men who aren’t in the same mindset as I am. That’s unfair and scamming, as most of you have stated. But the thing about mutually beneficial relationships that most of you aren’t accounting for is that a lot of the “sugars” on this site are college students. Now that doesn’t mean we want you to pay our tuition or the like; our schedules are harder to navigate or our full course loads prevent us from working and we need help with groceries.
    A lot of us respect the fact that some people here are looking for long term things. But the men who are complaining need to realize that the money you offer goes for gas, childcare, or simply time. Yes, some women are only here for money. Some are here for money and new people. Some are here just to meet new people. If you don’t like it, no one is asking you to stay here. The way some of you talk comes across as slightly misogynistic, like you’re entitled. Again, I said some, not all.
    As far as second dates go, even sugars have the no return problem. I met a man I really liked, who was really a gentleman and so on, but he just thought I was “too young” in the end. After that I met a man who only wanted sex, and I had to rush out of that situation. Since then I’ve had no luck whatsoever, and I’m always completely forthcoming about what it is I want from this site. I don’t ask a man for $150+, seeing as 100 is plenty enough; that makes me feel rather rude and “gold digger-ish”.
    Please, please don’t be so judgmental about the mutually beneficial relationships. Not all of us try to scam those who are looking for non monetary relationships; if you come across those who do, report them right away, as they’re giving us all a bad name. In the end, we’re all here for the same reason: the money is what we found attractive.

  105. Magno says:


    What you stated is exactly what I have spoken of in the blogs.

    I have no issue with those that are interested in the sugardaddy/sugarbaby arrangement.

    What drives me batty is, like you mentioned above, I get bombarded with winks from sugarbabies, even though my profile reads I am interested in friendship/activity partner, and everything in my profile is consistent with that.

    I also have no interest in partaking in a casual dating/ no strings attached thing. To me, that indicates a woman wants casual sex. Sex is really low on my criteria, so I would surely dissapoibt in this equation.

    I also receive winks from those who are in open relationships…even though I specifically state I am only interested in those that are single, unnattached, and emotionally available.

    I don’t hold any illusions that I will come upon anyone that I could conceivably consider for long term relations, but I never say never, as it could happen…just unlikely, given the dynamics involved with this kind of site.

    I think people’s expectationson this site are sometimes unrealistic on both ends.

    In my humble opinion, this site would work better if the only agenda was sugardaddy/sugarbaby.

    You shouldn’t be able to select married dating/discreet affair, AND long term relationship/marriage minded.

    I just shake my head when I see profiles with multiple dating objectives selected.

    I have one dating objective….friendship/activity partner. That should deter those looking for sex, a relationship, or financial arrangements….

    But for some reason, it doesn’t.

  106. Marie says:

    I completely agree with the whole married/long term thing. It’s completely unfair and unrealistic. I have my profile set to “friendship/activity partner” and “mutually beneficial”. I’m not the emotionally available type, seeing as I’m in college pursuing my first degree. I like to have my priorities in order and, sadly, that includes finances. My loans cover my tuition and rent, and I just need that extra help every now and again. As far as payment goes, I’m not the pushy type; if you’re interested, fine. If not, I’ll merrily be on my way. You can meet friends here, just like you can meet the “one”. The money just happens to be extra incentive. And if I meet someone I genuinely like being around, I’m not going to ask them to hand me cash. I’ll just ask to go to lunch or meet up for dinner, just to hang out. And I think that’s a fair thing. Networking seems to be big here too; some guys will hire a woman he meets here as a secretary or in a store he owns. It’s happened to a friend of mine, but unfortunately I haven’t been so lucky. It’s all a matter of who you *choose* to spend your time and money on. Sites like these come with the good and the bad, you just have to learn to read the signs.
    It’s a good site, the overall idea behind it is pretty good, as well. It’s just that there will always be those who will take advantage.

  107. Magno says:


    I have no issue with the 1st meeting/date payment agreement, as this is what this site is designed for.

    Unfortunately, some attractive members have the expectation of being paid for subsequent pitings in the form of cash.

    I guess I have too many options for female companionship outside of internet sites like this to have this make any sense to me.

    The premise behind the cash donation to the attractive member is to compensate him/her for his/her time and expenses incurred in preparing for the date. (Albeit the attractive males most likely spending less money getting ready for his date with the generous female).

    To expect cash payments beyond the initial first meeting equates to an ongoing escort/client scenario. (Regardless of whether intimate relations ensue or not).

    These same attractive members become agitated at the mere suggestion that their actions amount to being a professional companion for hire/rent.

    The premise behind What’s Your Price teeters on the edge to begin with.

    Sugardaddies and sugarmomies should be generous in ways that do not directly involve handing cash to the sugarbabies after the first initial meeting. Help with college tuition? fine. Help with bills and rent? Fine. Send the attractive member on extravagant vacations in exotic locales? Fine. Buy him/her lavish gifts? Fine.

    But to hand cash in exchange for his/her company equates to him/her being an escort.

    That is my view. People should do what they want to do, but don’t get all indignant, and rant against the generous member for holding true to his/her principles and integrity, is all I am saying.

    If the attractive member is good company, and fun to be around, chances are, he/she won’t have much to worry about anyway. The Generous member will have incentive to be….generous, and keep him/her happy.

    I wouldn’t mind dating a generous female if She were nice, and….reasonably attractive. Unfortunately, the odds of a generous female being even marginally attractive are remote.

    So, it’s an more efficient route for me to take to be generous in nature.

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