Class Act in Dating Etiquette
  • Posted Jul 20, 2011
  • Views 305212
  • Written by 


“When she opened the door a gust of wind blew her hair back towards the street exposing her sharp cheek bones and neckline. He watched from the bar, knowing she had not seen him and he had the advantage of being able to observe her without her knowing it. With the smug experience of a pro with dating etiquette, he knew he had the upper hand and would learn a lot in the next few moments before the hostess brought her to him in the bar. He watched her quietly approach the hostess and lean in to whisper something in her ear. Her shy smile lit up as she looked into the eyes of the hostess, showing flashing white teeth against full lips and sculpted jaw. Following the hostess’ glance she turned towards him making eye contact through the glass separating the bar from the entry area. He gently waved her towards him and got up from his seat as she came around the corner to meet him.

Instead of a handshake she leaned in and gave him a quick hug and then removed her coat to sit down. Her open smile, warm greeting and easy manner let him know right away that this was going to be a pleasant experience. He mentally began to consider dinner options.”

What happened before …….

I accepted an offer and after a couple of short emails, my generous member and I made simple plans to meet at a fun, international restaurant for drinks. There was an age difference between us, but my date was smart enough and knew enough about dating etiquette, to reduce potential issues before they came up. He asked if it was going to be an issue or if it bothered me. I appreciated that he brought it up, and although I’ve almost never dated a younger man, great conversation and connection has no age limit. “No, as long as it doesn’t bother you, I think it’s more about fun,” I said. He sent me his number a few days before the date, but I never called him. I did not want to engage on the phone since my personal information is confidential. We confirmed the date via email, but other than his two photos, I had no idea what to expect.

I dressed in tight jeans, boots, shirt and leather jacket figuring it was city casual. The age difference crossed my mind briefly, but hey, this was an experiment!  I’ve never been on a paid date in my life, and this was going to be a new experience. As I crossed the street however, the wind whipped up, swirling my loose hair all over the place and I dashed into the building arriving breathless and self-conscious.  I absolutely hate going into a bar, any bar, by myself so I waited for the hostess and then leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I’m meeting someone and I have no idea where.”

She smiled and pointed into the bar next door. As I turned towards the bar, my date smiled and waved me inside as he graciously rose to greet me. I couldn’t help but note the tug of his jeans across tight, well-muscled thighs and the sparkle in his blue eyes (I am a woman after all). I gave him a hug and sat down to chat.

I asked him a few questions about the site, his experience and we laughed when we realized we were both newbies. I also found out about his family, his business, and his experiences; what he is looking for and the type of women he prefers. It was a fun and lively discussion with short humorous antidotes about dating in the city and around the world. He told me that he generally does not like American women and has found many to be quite immature.  “So,” I paused, “Are you pleased or disappointed? Am I what you expected?”

“You are much better than your photos, “ he said. “Would you like to go to dinner? I’d like to take you to somewhere you have not been.”

“Yes, that would be great,” I replied. I had been to the place where we were, so he decided to take me to another place I had been longing to try for some time and he happened to know quite well.

He led me out of the bar to a privileged parking spot since he knew the manager and casually opened the door and guided me into the car. His car was elegant and clean, showing that he not only respects his personal appearance but also takes care of his possessions, two desirable qualities in a man in my opinion. Despite the fact that the restaurant is well-known and impossible to get into, my date knew the valet, the owner and the host. We had no trouble getting a table right away and had a sumptuous and interesting cultural meal. Sexy finger foods and an array of textures and flavors leave my mouth watering in memory as I write this. It was a relaxed and easy flow of conversation covering many topics from his childhood, travel abroad and current work in his family’s business. Afterward we drank Turkish coffee and tasted sweets, finally leaving the restaurant at about 10:30pm.

We discussed staying out a bit later, but it was a school night after all, and I needed to get home, and into bed (alone), so he dropped me at my car, waited for me to get in and pull away from the curb before pulling away himself. In all of this, we forgot about the payment. I realized it as I headed home and pondered how to deal with it. I knew I needed to do something from the perspective of keeping agreements and avoiding resentments. In the morning I decided to make a joke out of it in a text and we both came to the laughing realization that neither of us really knew how to handle the situation. I decided to be creative and make it easy for him, and received payment a few days later. This was about establishing principals and developing trust and follow through. A principal based action.

For me, life is about the adventure and sharing experiences with people. I find I am able to enjoy most situations by being mindful, noticing and paying attention to the person I am with and by being responsive vs. reactive. Following some rules of dating etiquette made this date enjoyable for us both.

I wanted to share this experience with you because I found it to be a really classy date. There were certain measures of etiquette that were followed by both of us, and this lead to a more confident and relaxed date. I was able to feel like a lady and my date felt like a man.

Would anyone be willing to share their winning profile or some aspects of it with all members here?

What key components to a profile are getting you the most offers and the best dates?

Comments are closed.