Be Nice: Nice Guys Always Win Here
  • Posted Nov 17, 2011
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In my last post, I wrote about serial daters, and more specifically about Attractive members who ask for more (rather than less) money for a first date.  As a result of my blog post, I have received an earful from some of the Attractive girls who feel that I was being hypocritical when I tell them they should expect more from men, but at the same time, I was branding them “serial daters”.

After reading their comments, I felt I needed to clarify my position.  The fact is provides a good way for both Attractive and Generous users to weed out those who aren’t a good match.  The price of the first date is a great way to do so.  If an Attractive female is used to dating men who can afford her high standards of living and lifestyle, it would be reasonable for her to expect a high offer for a first date.  $500 for a multi-millionaire is obviously not much, but if you are pulling in a $50,000 a year salary, that is simply an unreasonable amount to pay for a first date.  In this sense, the system helps singles weed out those who are economically incompatible.   And for this reason, I believe this website is far more superior than any other dating website out there.

But money and price aside, it is ultimately what happens before and during the first date that matters.   This leads me to the current topic of today’s blog.  I’m urging all Generous members (especially all you men) to …. BE NICE GUYS!

Nice Guys Win

Nice Guys Always Win

Why?  Because while you may be mistakenly thinking that “nice guys always lose or end up last” because it is always the jerks who end up with the beautiful girls, on the opposite is true — Nice Guys Always Win.

So far, we have received hundreds of member feedback and testimonials, and all the good testimonials from Attractive female members have always been about meeting nice guys.  Let’s look at a few of them from this past week:

Finally had my 1st date, and I must say this has been by far the best date ever imagined. I met this amazing guy online last Monday. We started communicating via phone/text everyday all day, during this time he would ask me several questions regarding my likes and dislikes, favorite color, designer, my measurement, travel destinations, etc. We’re both from Chicago but I live in Cincinnati now, so I mentioned to him I love Chicago’s Garretts Popcorn. He went on to ask me to pick a number 1-4, and I chose 3. He texted back and said I have 3 surprises coming to me. He made arrangements to fly to Cincinnati for yesterday, and asked if I would like to receive one of my surprises early, and I said yes. By Thursday last week I was surprised at work with 2 gallons on Garretts Popcorn.  Finally he arrived yesterday, and we met at a lovely restaurant, we felt very comfortable with each other, so there was never an awkward moment. He proceeded to hand me my 2 other surprises and a card, my surprises were a beautiful silk dress, a pair of black suede stilehetto’s to match the dress and had an additional surprise #4 of my favorite designer jeans. He told me to open the card once I return home, and in it was a Thank You along with the original offer amount. I honestly felt there was no need for the offer amount after receiving all the gifts. He’s flying me to Chicago on tomorrow for date #2. Will there be another surprise….don’t know but he is all the surprise I need for now.” — Posted by a user from Cincinnati, Ohio

I don’t have to tell you why this Nice Guy is going to get a 2nd date or a 3rd date.  And if you are an Attractive female, you must be wishing all Generous men could be like this Nice Guy.  He happens to know one thing that most men don’t — that women love pleasant surprises.  And these surprises can go a long way in winning hearts.  He’s polite, shows he is genuinely interested in her, and he goes the distance by pleasantly surprising her not once but multiple times.  And if he keeps this up, I’m almost certain he won’t be a member on much longer because many of our female members will be fighting to get him off the site.

The truth is, even if you don’t put in as much effort as the Mr. I Love to Surprise You Nice Guy, a nice conversation over dinner usually does the trick. Here is what another user had to say about her date:

I am not a fan of writing long soppy stories so I’ll keep this short and to the point. I met with my first date from this website tonight (you know who you are!). We went for some amazing mediterranean food at a lovely restraunt in the city in Melbourne. We were both a little shy, but after a couple of drinks got chatting and had a great time. I was working the night just gone, so I went to work and my date came and visited me as a surprise, I’m a dancer at a showbar so I got to show off a little, but nothing crazy. All in all, great company, great food and we are catching up again this week!” — Posted by a user from Melbourne, Australia

So, while approximately 50% of the feedback we get are positive and about amazing first dates with nice guys, the other 50% of the feedback we get are negative ones about guys who are simply not nice.  One complaint that comes to mind is about a Generous Member who likes to accept first date offers, only to spend money to unlock the dates just so he could tell the Attractive Member she is not attractive enough for him  (One may wonder why he takes so much joy in insulting others, and I bet he isn’t having much luck with the ladies).  Another regular complaint we get are about Generous men who don’t honor their part of the agreement, or behave like they are “God’s Gift To This World” simply because they have money.  Neither types are nice, and neither are likely to do well here.

Advice For Nice Guys…

As a “nice guy” myself, who is at times shy and nerdy in many ways, it would be misleading for me to say that just being nice will do the trick.  The truth of the matter is nice guys who lack confidence, or social skills, can appear to be creepy or overly clingy to the opposite sex.  So if you don’t have the confidence to be around beautiful women, that would be the first thing you need to work on:  Your Confidence.  For women, there are few things more attractive and sexy than a confident man.  So, if you don’t know how to behave confidently before and during your first date, consider asking your dates for advice on how you can improve your confidence.  As they say, practice makes perfect so the more first dates you end up having, the more confident you will become.

So here’s the deal:  When it comes to choosing between a funny and confident nice guy vs. a funny and confident jerk, I think it is obvious who will come out ahead.

NOTE:  To read the rest of our user Testimonials, CLICK HERE.

Questions for Females:

Do you prefer to date a Nice Guy or a Bad Boy?  Why?

What turns you ON the most about a man — on the first date?

What turns you OFF the most about a man — on the first date?

What advice do you have for the Nice Generous Guys on the website?

Questions for Men:

Do you think Nice Guys always win in the end?

79 Responses to “Be Nice: Nice Guys Always Win Here”

  1. Brandon Wade says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. havetostayanonymousonthisone says:

    This is an interesting topic to me. I teach high school. I’m being trained by a woman who is a coach. Anyway, this woman does not show niceness to the students and is really sarcastic to them, almost on the verge of mean, and she kind of ignores them, but they keep trying to get her attention. We’re taught at college never to use sarcasm in the classroom. But I’m not joking, every high school girl she has taught comes to visit her and they say “I love you” all the time to her. It was so eerie to me, I asked her, “Why are all these old high school students of yours who visit you girls?”. She replied, “They have daddy issues.” I had never heard that before. I said, “What do you mean?”. She said their dads don’t give them the attention they crave. So when they come across someone who gives them the attention, their needs are filled and they don’t need anything more from the person anymore. But if you cause the same cravings they have of their dads, then they won’t leave you alone.

    Please don’t lambast me for posting this, ladies, because I don’t believe it. Please tell me it is NOT true! Otherwise, I’m going to quit this site and become a monk.

  3. Melissa says:

    Well I can’t speak for the woman who do seek attention from others in order to fill the void of not having a father but I tend to get away from anyone that may attempt to fill the void my father may have left open. My father is not a affectionate man but I do not attempt to attract myself to others that act like a father. I have a father and I don’t need anyone trying to be my father.

  4. alli says:

    anonymous i dont really understand the point of your comment it seems a little off topic, but all girls are different and theres a lot of them that are clingy not because of daddy issues. but maybe so. there is also mommy issues. their moms may be clingy or skanky or in bad relationships and they follow in their footsteps sometimes unknowingly. i know that i have a dad but we never speak..ive been in toxic relationships but im not gonna blame that on him. its about the choices we make.

    now to answer the ON TOPIC questions —
    1. i like to date a little of both. i like a perfect mixture of good AND bad. and as in good i mean- affectionate, not annoying. confident, NOT COCKY.. cockiness is disgusting and itll get you nothing but my hand across your face, and the door slammed in front of it. the blogger is right. just because you have money, doesnt mean you need to act like a jackass. not to mention.. most the men on here dont have as much as they like to front. (otherwise a ‘pricy’ first date wouldnt be such a huge deal) anyways.. smart, not stupid. dont pretend to be something youre not cuz ill know!
    and as in bad i mean- sexy, not nerdy. flirty/teasing/play hard to get, no girl especially me can f*cking stand a clingy obsessed jealous whiny douchebag. dont try to be perfect.. make me laugh. have some fun geeeze!

    2. & 3.
    what turns me ON on a first date– generousity, sincerity, good humor, appropriate conversations, playing hard to get, greaaaat smile!
    what turns me completely OFF on a first date– greediness, cheapskates, pervs that bring up anything sexual, trying too hard to be cute or funny, cursing a lot, bad breath, interrupting me, CONSTANT convos about YOU, your huge bank account, your companies or jobs, talking about too much “guy stuff” or politics, i hate hardcore liberalism as well, so if you are sweet on obama (or the chick in the restaurant with the double D’s) more than you are me, im going to leave..i may be hard to please at times but im VERY sweet and never disrespectful until you give me reason to be.

    4. advice i have for all you nice generous men– be yourselves. dont try too hard, us women do notice and it comes off as if youre lacking confidence. never stop being clever or sweet, we always like cute surprises and gifts if you prefer it, never lie, it gets you no where so fast and youll end up old and alone..never bring up sex on the first date like a lot of these tools do, girls cant stand horny pervs looking for a quick lay in exchange for money or gifts. remember that most of us are young, a lot of us like myself arent looking for a husband right now. we like to have fun– but if you do end up on a fourth or fifth date with a woman and you both have legitimate feelings, keep the spark and fire lit! dont let the chemistry fizzle out into smoke. have fun!
    xoxo, alli
    sorry for the long novel 😉 happy dating!

  5. Blue says:


    First of all…EWW! I dont’ want to talk about high school students here. This is not the place to be comparing them to grown women. Please, if you are a just being creepy, stop it.

    Secondly, if it is true, sounds like the teacher is a regular meglomaniac making stuff up in her head.

    My ex and I tried therapy and the therapist had a belief that everything stemmed from the mother so everything we said got pinned down and blamed on our mothers. Very frustrating having to deal with people who are stuck in making blanket statements. You believe whatever you want.

  6. Blue says:

    ….and yes, being nice will get you further than being bad ever will. It seems the women here are pretty secure with themselves and know what they want.

  7. havetostayanonymousonthisone says:

    Blue said: “I dont’ want to talk about high school students here. This is not the place to be comparing them to grown women. Please, if you are a just being creepy, stop it.”

    Cmon, GIVE me a BREAK.

  8. queen says:

    I think on a dating site nice will get you the meeting as mean will get you blocked real fast! …..Blue, i wrote your email down and will be writing shortly. My fav lover is in town and i am having a blast with the boy toy!

  9. Bobby the K says:

    When women say they want to try something new like go skydiving, do they realize that it takes several days of preparatory classes? What if they can’t stand the date they’re with?

  10. queen says:

    Bobby, in most cases i can not stand the guy, but i do stay anyway because he did go out of his way to hook up and meet me so i give them between 2~4 hours of my time, to be fair and of course a charming evening in my sexiest outfit. The men set the tone and in most cases they make the date awkward on so many levels by silly pushy questions or lack of manners all together!

  11. Allan says:


    You are doing nobody a favor by staying longer than a half hour if you are certain that you don’t want to see the guy again. With all this talk about direct communication I continue to read of behavior that is misleading.

    I am always happiest when a woman admits to me up front how she feels (in diplomatic a way of course). It shows that she trusts that I am mature enough to understand and move on.

    For me the greatest sin is the lie, because one can never demand attraction, but you can demand honesty.

  12. Bobby the K says:

    “My fav lover is in town and i am having a blast with the boy toy!”

    Queen, don’t get angry that I ask you this, but how are you able to tell if the guy is just treating you as a commodity or not?

    And if he is, do you just deal with it?

  13. Bobby the K says:

    Well said Allan.

  14. shanm says:

    In answer to the questions:
    1) Nice guys. Too many people genuinely like me for me to waste time with someone who doesn’t, so I see hassles as just that.
    2) You nailed it with confidence, social skills (these can be learnt from a book so no excuses nerds..) and leaving me intrigued (luck of the draw sadly).
    3) Continually referring to me for basic decisions, asking for things you dont really want, and getting too close without any returned signals from me. I can only be polite or awkward if that happens.

  15. shanm says:

    @having to stay anonymous.. there are Daddy issues, but those girls are the ones becoming doctors, getting Op 1’s, and generally dedicating their lives to something in the hope of competing against their cool siblings… I knew a couple of these girls in school very well. Highly motivated individuals. But I think it can be said mild disinterest, and a gentle ‘im not sure that’s enough’ flicks a switch in all people making them try to impress you and can be done in any circumstance. I find it hard to be false, but when needed, and when it won’t be damaging I occasionally this trick too. :-/

  16. shanm says:

    Actually… I only use when I’m intimidated ..

  17. Lore says:

    Speaking of creepy I just had a guy accept a date, then had no intentions of going out with me, he just wanted nude pics! Grrr… How does one go about reporting jerks like this?

  18. LoveA says:

    I must agree…Being nice does take you far. But there are a lot of rude men on this site who just come off as obnoxious. I understand if they want to be straight forward and get to their point. But really, you can do that without crossing the line. Therefore, when the nice guys show up it’s more noticed.

  19. Blue says:

    @ Allan

    Trust me the guys who are not on this board and spending money on women could care less if we “want” to be there or not. lol Far from it!! I can tell them a thousand times I just want to go home and they will say “no just stay for another drink” Okay? I hope you weren’t trying to put Queen down.

  20. Blue says:

    Bobby the K

    Please clarify what you mean by “treat you like a commodity”.

  21. Blue says:

    Queen looking forward to your email luv! 😀

  22. just bc says:

    I speak for myself:
    Nice is all I am looking for.
    Jerks get nowhere with me.

    I expect honesty, as should all men and women on this site. Being dishonest is just a waste of time for both. Being honest is the fastest way to get what you want.

    And I am not happy tricking someone to be with me. I am happy when someone really enjoys being with me. I do not understand why anyone would want it any differently. I think lots of people don not know what they really want or are too scared to say it. I am anonymous bc I am afraid of being judged by others who just don’t understand this type or relationship. I think all marriages amount to some type of social contract and this is just a little different.

  23. Allan says:


    I rarely put people down, but I will put down behavior that is non-constructive. Behaving in a manner that is 180 degrees opposite ones intentions rates as one of those behaviors. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And if there are women here who are willing to act counter to their own desires for cash, then they should say as much, because if it is true that the men could not care less, then the deal will still go down, and best of all there is less chance of raw feelings.

  24. queen says:

    A guys worst nightmare on this site is a guy who pays just to have avgirl up and leave right away. I am not on here to bicker back and forth or try to make people see my way. I just want to treat people nice while they are around me. Trust that some guys need a slap in the face. I just am afraid being a petite 100 pounds that i could be followed home or attacked so i try to take it all in stride and get out safely even if a man is fondling my breasts as im saying please leave me alone i wanna go home. Im still saying it in a playful laughing manner as he is already gropping me and i should be calling police sbd i just have trouble finding my loud mean voice and afraid of getting punched as he is already showing hes a mo mo!

  25. Allan says:


    I won’t second guess your experiences, and you portray a lamentable scenario.

    It may sound odd, but I feel that men and women should look after each other, even in the context of P4P. I have a female friend and erstwhile partner who manages to make every experience a fun one, and if she is not cool with what is going on, she says so.

  26. queen says:

    Blue, I emailed you !

  27. Blue says:


    “Queen, don’t get angry that I ask you this, but how are you able to tell if the guy is just treating you as a commodity or not?”

    Okay, like you said, say what you mean and mean what you say. Quit beating around the proverbial bush!

    Why are you pondering life and aiming those thoughts toward Queen may I ask? It sounds a little condescending.

  28. Allan says:

    Lets be clear, before something someone else said is attributed to me: I did not say anything about treating anyone like a commodity.

    As to the things I did say; I stand by every word of what I wrote, no less, no more.


    “Queen, don’t get angry that I ask you this, but how are you able to tell if the guy is just treating you as a commodity or not?”

    Okay, like you said, say what you mean and mean what you say. Quit beating around the proverbial bush!

    Why are you pondering life and aiming those thoughts toward Queen may I ask? It sounds a little condescending.

  29. queen says:

    If this site is like a date auction then why are guys taking it so seriously? Can we not all just have fun and relax? At a date auction does the person get the choice to cut the date short after 5 mins? Hey, you suck…bye! You guys want that treatment? We give you a chance but if you blow it then that is on you. You have to be charming to meet again. Creepy probing questions and roaming hands after telling us to sit in your car to talk and get the payment from glove box is just not cool and will not get another meeting. Just takes a tiny bit of brains to figure that out. Also, asking for bj’s in parking lots deserve a kick in the crotch. Makes girls wanna cry and that is not funny!

  30. Blue says:


    Well that’s one of the sentences you wrote. Sorry I am just trying to understand what you are asking. What does the boy toy have to do with some other guy possibly treating a woman as a commodity, why would she be angry you asked? i’m not making the connection.

    ““My fav lover is in town and i am having a blast with the boy toy!”
    Queen, don’t get angry that I ask you this, but how are you able to tell if the guy is just treating you as a commodity or not?
    And if he is, do you just deal with it?”

  31. queen says:

    Yes, what does my hot, young, sexy “boy toy” have to do with anything, I was just telling blue why I was late on writing to her? Did you get my mail blue?

  32. Blue says:

    Queen no 🙁
    i just checked. Please try again.
    Blue Jewel SB Yahoo


  33. Blue says:

    STOP THE PRESSES It’s in spam. Queen. 🙂

    I’m going to read it now!

  34. Allan says:

    Nope, you have me mixed up with someone else. I searched this page, and first use of that word was by Bobby the K, not me.

  35. Blue says:


    Who has you mixed up? what word?

  36. queen says:

    Blue, Bobby is the one that wrote it. Anytime someone says: “don’t get mad” is a red flag they are being rude.

  37. Lore says:

    Grrr how do you report someone on here? My date was accepted and when I emailed to set up, all the guy wanted was to exchange nude photo’s and didn’t have any intentions on going out on a date.

  38. queen says:

    Lore, on his profile you can click on report then scammer but i do not think the site cares. I reported a guy who i met in person who said he is not paying at all unless i gamble and sleep with him to see what i get after.

  39. queen says:

    I had a great lunch date today! A huge bottle of chanel perfume costing 115.00 plus food and 200.00! Very nice man. Happy and feeling spoiled!

  40. Blue says:

    Congratulations Queen! Always nice, all I wear is Chanel perfume What kind?

    Sorry Allan! That was a tough one to unravel. Thanks for your patience.

  41. queen says:

    Chanel # 5 ! I love allure also !

  42. Allan says:

    I had a date set up with a scammer and WYP refunded their fee. Several other women accepted but never followed through on the date.

    Most times I have had a pleasant half hour without the expectation of anything sexual or extravagant, which is what I seek. If I wanted sex I would be on Craigslist, or Backpage, not here.

  43. queen says:

    Allan, how do you know all the hang out spots for sex? I looked at backpage like you mentioned and i heard on tv they shut down craiglist for escorts. I find it strange you know where to get paid sex yet seek different here. Almost all men want sex at some point. Just the way a man is wired. To hunt is natural.

  44. Allan says:

    Oh, I see, Craigslist doesn’t do that anymore. Well, thanks for setting me straight, evidently I was misinformed.

  45. Lore says:

    Thanks Queen and your probably right about me reporting a jerk they don’t care. Oh well. And out of curiosity, from the above conversation I looked at craigslist, they still have a section for casual encounters, looks like all about sex to me, I think they renamed it to be less blatant I guess. I never heard of Backpage before.

  46. queen says:

    Lore, I was on craigslist once looking for girls to hook up with and they posted hot model pics then sent fat nasty pics from phone. i was like where is that hot chic? ewwww! Or it was dudes pretending to be girls to get threesomes or pics!

  47. queen says:

    Lore, I was on craigs once looking for girls to hook up with and they posted hot model pics then sent fat nasty pics from phone. i was like where is that hot chic? ewwww! Or it was dudes pretending to be girls to get threesomes or pics!

  48. Rob says:

    I have a question for the other guys… (and girls too).

    For the sake of my question, assume there’s no expectation of sex.

    Are you setting up dates hoping they turn into something lasting (MBA, relationship, etc)? Or are you setting up the dates with just an eye toward enjoying the one-time experience, and when it’s over, it’s over?

    What’s the typical duration? Alan mentions half-hour dates, but that just seems too short to get to know someone.

  49. Allan says:

    I only expect a half hour, though it may run over. I find that a woman will know if she likes a guy or not in the first ten minutes anyhow. If things really seem to click, I certainly don’t fight it. I get the hint if the girl starts to talks to me about rent or other expenses.

    If the woman is willing to go out on a second date to see a Broadway show (costing upwards of three hundred dollars for two tickets) then I have demonstrated my generosity but have not established any role as a source of income for her. I make it clear that I am willing to pay for a shared experience, cook her dinner or help her paint her apartment, but I am not willing to directly provide cash.

    There are sound psychological principles to back up my reasoning; once I know a woman wants to establish a pattern of continued reliance on me for income, I move on. I would rather simply share a drink with a dozen women than go out with one woman a dozen times knowing full well that it is the money in my pocket that she enjoys and not any desire to develop emotional ties based on mutual compassion.

    Typical first meeting duration is an hour or two, but as I said, I am ready to pass the envelope after half an hour and express my thanks for her time. I am paying the girl for her expenses (gas, babysitter), nothing more. Sometimes she suggests P4P, and I find that line of discussion to both honest and more honorable than simulated affection.

    I know of this with a close friend who has dated (and slept with) at men whom she privately despised for the thousand dollar handbags and bracelets etc. Personally I don’t see the point, and I’d rather be treated with genuine indifference. Best of all it seems the more honest relationships have an even chance of evolving into true (non monetary) friendships.

  50. Allan says:

    @ Rob

    What am I seeking? Well, I’ll put it this way: I am open to a serious long term relationship with a woman with whom I connect with, but any honest woman who is attractive and fun to be with gets a hug, a sympathetic ear, drinks on me and dinner.

  51. queen says:

    I have a shopping spree date on wed and he said he likes to carry all my bags like a good slave…after we can play ! Oh boy! This is our second date. Says he wants an arrangement where I am put on payroll and money goes into a bank account. I will keep you all posted .

  52. Blue says:

    Oh he’s into that! lol

  53. Blue says:

    I don’t want a slave. I just like the Sugar Daddy dating and meeting new people and learning new things, having new experiences and getting financial security in life out of all that.

  54. queen says:

    I do have a bitchy side so having a slave will be just what the dr ordered !

  55. queen says:

    So, I am talking to this guy who wants to know if I am dating him for the money yet asks me for more and more pictures. I do not understand how men think they can treat us like objects and that is ok ? Not sexy to be asked for a ton of pictures as if they are still deciding if they want to meet or not. This is the fastest way for me to not want to meet !

  56. Blue says:

    Picture collectors abound! The only photos you see are the ones on this site to give me a little protection from theft.

  57. queen says:

    Some of my dates have been spooking me off by what they say before meeting. I wish guys would not interview prior as it turns me off and I no longer feel excited about meeting. One guy says, you better be off the chain hot because I can get hot girls anytime. This site has ugly chics show up in person. I was turned off by that. I felt like he was rude and was going to judge me . Others say they wanna talk on the phone and get t know you for long periods of time. I wish guys would understand how easily spooked girls get by this bossy attitude.

  58. Blue says:

    Queen, they do know and I would avoid them like the plague! IMHO they are trying to do just that, scare you off, put you in your place, make you feel like cr*p about yourself. Then when they see a woman who will still tolerate this, they feel like they can call the shots. Those guys get blocked fast!

  59. Just bc says:

    Those guys are not worth meeting. If they ask for more pcs and get bossy. I just ignore them. I don’t have time for crazies.

    Real men know the risk is far greater for us women than them. Men are not afraid if meeting a woman, whereas we never know what kind of crazy we could meet. The price of the date to me shows chivalry in addition to sincerity. The rest are whiney cheap losers. I am off of match Bc of the many rude timewasters I had met. If you are whining about paying for a date go to match.

  60. Lore says:

    Ok is it just me or does anyone else feel insulted when offered 5-25$ To go out?

  61. Kay says:

    Do you prefer to date a Nice Guy or a Bad Boy? Why?

    What turns you ON the most about a man — on the first date?
    What turn me on the most about a man on the first date is that he automatically puts a smile on my face, have alot in common, and doesn’t ask alot of questions and just goes with the flow of things, also romantic.

    What turns you OFF the most about a man — on the first date?
    Turn off’s for me would be talking ALOT!!!, being cheap, expecting me to sleep with them on the first date.

    What advice do you have for the Nice Generous Guys on the website?
    Be polite, really get to know the girl before you judge her, and suprise her if she likes surprises. =>

  62. Kay says:

    I forgot to answer this question…
    Do you prefer to date a Nice Guy or a Bad Boy? Why?
    I don’t have a prefrence but nice guys really are plain and bad boys have a sense of adventure but not all good guy’s are plain.

  63. Bob Valenti says:

    It should read “be nice to the guys”,since they are the ones paying and often get used.

  64. Lola says:

    Do you prefer to date a Nice Guy or a Bad Boy? Why?

    Both terms have negative overtones these days and they are on the extreme end (sucker vs. jerk). I prefer a gentleman, always, and adventurous lover.

    What turns you ON the most about a man — on the first date?

    Manners, intelligence go without saying (at least they do to me) and a well groomed appearance. I don’t mean he has to wear a suit and tie. He can dress down and still be sexy. He takes care of himself and cares about how he looks when he leaves his home.

    What turns you OFF the most about a man — on the first date?

    Foul language, asking about sexual likes and dislikes, disheveled appearance.

    What advice do you have for the Nice Generous Guys on the website?

    Don’t settle. Stay within your limits and boundaries and make sure she respects them. If it doesn’t feel right, move on to the next candidate.

  65. Ray says:

    Nice guys always win?! May be somewhere else not here.
    I had my second date from this website just last week and just like the first one, I never heard from second lady again either. They both were very nice and attentive during the date. Promising to meet again and nothing.
    I think I’m giving up on this site.

  66. queen says:

    Just because a girl goes out once does not mean she is an instant girlfriend because you want her to be. Perhaps you are just not what they are looking for. It is your chance to woo them. Sounds the woo turned into a boo hoo for you. They are just not into you. I wish we could hear why from them. Can you ask for advice from them maybe on what turned them off?

  67. PrettyTall says:


    Is it possible the two women don’t want to be the pursuers and are waiting to receive a call from you? When a man doesn’t call me to ask me out again, I assume he doesn’t want to see me again OR he’s the type who likes to be pursued by women- which I am not comfortable doing.


    I agree with you and thank you for saying this:

    “Both terms have negative overtones these days and they are on the extreme end (sucker vs. jerk)….”


    Thanks for somewhat leveling the playing field. Your previous post had my Cosabellas in a bunch for sure!


    Do you prefer to date a Nice Guy or a Bad Boy? Why?

    What turns you ON the most about a man — on the first date?
    -He’s a good listener
    -He opens all doors
    -He respects boundaries and isn’t pushy

    What turns you OFF the most about a man — on the first date?
    -I don’t like being asked invasive questions.
    -When he keeps pressing after I’ve expressed that I don’t want to talk about something.
    -When he gets overly touchy-feely.
    -Being impolite or rude to people in the service industry. Wealth doesn’t give anyone that right.

    What advice do you have for the Nice Generous Guys on the website?
    -PLEASE be honest IN YOUR PROFILE about who you are, how you look and what you want. No one is going to judge except the person who’s time you’re wasting with pointless misrepresentations. As Kurt Cobain said “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not”

  68. UndyingRomantic says:

    Nice guys finish last. The ladies step all over me, and when I stand to the abuse, I’m an a__hole. There’s a very fine line between confident and arrogant. Women tell me they want spontaneity, they want me to sweep them off their feet. Well, having been accused of assault by someone who changed her mind the day after, I can promise you I’m not making the first move ever again. Its not worth the jail time.

    Does this make me a wimp? Cynical? No, it makes me a realist. Open & honest communication is a must from both parties. I can’t read your mind, if you want to go home after a nice dinner, say so.

    As much as I am aching to be in a LTR, P4P might be the only course available . . .

  69. chris says:

    You do not want a girl who has sex first date anyway because that means she is possibly full of std.

  70. Lore says:


    umm…so if a guy tries to initiate sex on a first date that means he must be full of STD’s to right? Or is he just being a guy? And good gawd in this day and age I would sure hope people are using protection!

  71. queen says:

    Lore, Look at all the pregnant people, you can bet no protection.

  72. Lore says:

    @Queen, I would hope the majority got pregnant from a relationship and not a one night stand.

  73. queen says:

    I met a chic at the store the other day who said she was pregnant from a one night stand and does not even know the guys name and it was her fifth child !!!!

  74. mainechicky says:

    Am I the only one that has had issues with guys backing out of offers? I guess none of them have actually backed out, but there’s been a couple guys that sent me offers, one I accepted, the other I counter-offered and they accepted. After that, I sent them a message asking when and where they would like to meet and I never heard anything else…Just a little confused here. Am I doing something wrong?

  75. queen says:

    Happens 80 percent of the time or more Chicky !

  76. carol irwin says:

    I enjoy reading other ppl’s comments. It gives me an idea about what I can expect from this site.

  77. EthnicElegance says:

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