Are You Dealing with a Time Vampire?

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There really are some rules to dating etiquette and the art of the chase. Men and women are different, and despite the fact that we are in a new era, the popularity of SeekingArrangement.com, WhatsYourPrice.com and other dating sites, just goes to show some things never change… you’ll find Time Vampires everywhere.

Time Vampires come in many shapes, sizes and forms.  On WhatsYourPrice.com there are two types of Time Vampires.

The first type are what I’d term “fake Generous Members” — users who join as Generous members, then send countless winks, make countless offers, and even accept offers with no intention of ever paying or going out on a date.  When using a dating website, there is no easy way of totally avoiding such Time Vampires, but there are some ways of minimizing your contact with them. On WhatsYourPrice.com, Generous members who have unlocked at least one date or have the credits to unlock dates they have accepted are given a Premium Member mark.  So having this mark means the user is more likely to be serious than a member who doesn’t have this mark:

You also know you are dealing with a Time Vampire when there is too much time or communication before setting up a date! One member complained about countless “get to know me” emails, or “send me more pictures” emails. She is a busy woman like most of the members here. Online dating is a way of narrowing the playing field, getting specific and finding the right person faster. While it is a tool, it can also be a distraction if the person you are communicating with is just lonely and doesn’t have any intention of following through.

Real and serious men aren’t Time Vampires. For example, I was set up on a date with a billionaire, and when he called, he flat out said, “Talking is just silly. Let’s get right to the date.” He did not have time to waste; he wanted to move through his list of prospective relationships with intention and speed, just as he would in business.

ADVICE: When you meet your Time Vampire in person, you should SET boundaries.

One member asked how people get into 2-5 hours dates? Of course the answer to this depends on where the person is coming from, their availability and what the plan is for the date. Depending on the price of the date, it seems a bit odd to meet for the 30-45 minute coffee. On the other hand, spending 4-5 hours with a person you just met can make you no longer as mysterious or interesting. Spending the same amount of time on the phone or chatting online has the same diluting effect.

What to do before and during your First Date…

Whether you are hanging around the desk of a guy you like in the office, or hanging around with him on line and always available, it shows you do not have much else going on (besides being a vampire yourself). This is not very interesting to a prospective date, yet having too much going can have the same effect. It takes the focus off of them or may set expectations that are too high.

On the date, be attentive and interesting but more importantly, be interested! Keep it authentic, short and sweet and not too deep. Do not tell your life story. Find out about common interests so that you have something to look forward to.  We all love mystery; don’t kill it on the first date or worse before the date!

Expectations and payment – where does the balance sit?

One member gets right to the heart of it quick.

“I cut communication off with any dates I get on here if they don’t feel like clearing the air of the expectations right off the bat… And in the same case if you don’t get half up front, leave (lol) because it means he’s trying to weasel out of it.”

You have all the opportunity to set up expectations before the date. Don’t feel uncomfortable, you can cancel at any time. Not talking about it can lead to some strong disappointments. Above all, do not be caught in the fantasy or attach to an idea or outcome that has not been discussed. In addition, have some fun in negotiating with members to see what price will unlock the conversation to set up that initial date. There is a fine line of course between play and just being difficult or unreasonable. Members who give a little authentic detail on their profile can help bridge this gap.

What about the Time Vampire with No Follow Through?

On the plus side, you have not wasted too much time, on the minus side it can be a let-down. Some ‘generous’ members appear to be using the “offer” to ‘unlock’ a conversation with an ‘attractive’ member, then don’t even read the corresponding email to set up the date.  Members have mentioned this is a common frustration.

“Did they accept the offer on a whim? Were they drunk? Were there married and changed their minds? Did they get cold feet?”

Some do not appear to have opened the acceptance email. From experience and speaking with various members there could be a couple of things going on. Yes! They have cold feet. Try checking their profiles; some are married and considering an affair. This makes things touchy and difficult in terms of risk, time considerations and if they really want to follow through on the impulse.

Yes! They changed their mind or had so many offers out they don’t really have time to take them all out. Or, perhaps they were accepted for dates at a lower price. These can all come into the lack of response, but it doesn’t make it less disappointing.

Again, please note where the person lives, what they are looking for, and if they are willing to travel for the date before accepting or making an offer. If the person lives in Las Vegas and you live in San Francisco, are they flying you to meet them or are they coming to meet you? Once a date has been accepted, these factors become much more real. You can help by posting information in your profile and keeping it updated.

If this appears to be a regular thing, you can report someone who appears to be fake or simply a time vampire! We would all like to know who these people are so we don’t waste too much of our time, but really just move on and don’t look back.

There is nothing ‘generous’ or respectable for a guy or a woman pulling a no-show. Just have the decency to either cancel the date before, or show up and make your contribution for taking the other person’s time and energy to meet you. It’s not necessary to fall in love on the first date, and since you agreed together, why not have the decency to treat each other with respect for their time and energy, just as you would for any other appointment or commitment?

Are there any members who have examples they can share that helped the transition from date to payment?

Is there anyone who is using their profile in a way that keeps setting them up with great dates?

60 Responses to “Are You Dealing with a Time Vampire?”

  1. Q&A says:

    This is internet “dating” and, as in any interpersonal communication of this nature on line, a lot of people are just playing games. In other words, it’s the same everywhere on line, not specific to this site and its users. People should stop taking the way anonymous people are towards them so personally.

    • Zorah Wright says:

      Yes, I agree with you in regard to being offended over accepted and never read dates. It should be easy to say, ‘next,’ when there is no real relationship. We have all heard of people finding true love online; in fact I know a few of them, but dating has got to be just this: An investigatory process in the search for a relationship where many ships are just passing in the night. Sooner or later, you will bump into the right one; probably when you let your defenses down, take your hand off the wheel and your eyes off the bow! Must be present to win.

  2. Lore says:

    It’s not about taking it personally it’s about wasting my time, my time is valuable, and as they say time is money. lol And the people here I believe are just voicing their opinions in order to help the creator tweak things to help everyone.

  3. tyler says:

    there was alot on here about generous members being time wasters…I’ve run into the opposite where the attractive members accept a date and never log back after accepting to read the email I sent. And since I wasted credits on them I cannot and am much less willing to unlock accepted offers unless the attractive member sends the introduction email. Waiting for the attractive member to send it has actually led to me finally going on a few dates after wasting time waiting on an email reply. Personally I think a good suggestion would be for this site to reimburse credits wasted unlocking non-serious attractive members offers if they don’t respond to the introductory email within a timeframe of two weeks to a month. That would at least make it more feasible to contact attractive members that are serious about this. I’m not sure what all the attractive members have to go through on here to get in touch with generous members, like do they need to pay for a monthly membership? Is that the issue going on? Or are they allowed to contact generous members without paying? I ask that because there are many many many attractive members in my area that accept dates and do not ever respond or log back in after an email…so fixing the credits for generous members and possibly reimbursing it after a set time frame and closing a non communicating accepted date would be a great addition to the site! Not trying to be cheap just sick of money that should be going to an amazing date going to this site to unlock more unresponsive dates!

    • Zorah Wright says:

      Yes, this seems to be the tricky part and I agree it works both ways. I’ve also seen people persistently make offers to an attractive member, and then when she unlocks the date, they have no way of really following through because they live out of the country. Again read the profile!
      I mentioned that males should take initiative with setting the date, but I can see the dilemma here. Can the ladies be a bit more forward?
      Also, what ways have attractive and generous members been able to get together when it’s long distance or that is an obstacle? Can anyone answer this?

      • tyler says:

        Yes I’ve run into a problem where I don’t mind travelling somewhere although I’d like it if it was for more then dinner if I am. But all too often even when they say willing to travel, or what not they say they’re not interested when I tell them where I live. Its like thanks for wasting more credits that could have went to someone local. I don’t think the ladies need to be more forward but maybe the right word is be more serious. Or maybe just a quick email after they accept a generous offer introducing themselves a bit more with their intentions would be amazing. Thats asking too much though. All too often I’ve emailed after unlocking a date that was accepted that day just to see it go unread and that lady in question never logging back in ever again. Basically I’ve had one date for nine that have been accepted and unlocked so far. Which isn’t really that bad considering how many dates I’ve been on on other dating websites (0). I just think the credits for generous members needs to be revamped or like I suggested if the message goes unread for a certain length of time some sort of reimbursement of credits. Its really because of this that I wait for a lady to be a bit more forward at least that way I know they’re more serious about this then the rest.

  4. lms says:

    I have had two women delete their account after accepting my offer, and then me sending an email to them. I almost felt scammed, especially with the first girl.

    I have had more than a few who went to certain degrees in setting up dates, only to never finalize, or simply flake on the date altogether.

    I am especially wary of new girls, as they seem to be very open to whomever contacts them right away, only to realize that they have lots of options, and move on from the guys who showed initial interest.

    Just a couple of thoughts.

    • tyler says:

      You know one of the girls I was disappointed in actually just contacted me today after having disappeared from here for almost a month. So maybe its more about being patient then anything.

      I haven’t had any delete their accounts yet though, that sucks man. But yeah in cases like that I definitely think a credit reimbursement needs to occur. I know there aren’t any guarantees on here that you will be contacted but it costs almost equal to unlock enough dates as the date itself costs. So something needs to happen on that side of things.

      • Suzy says:

        I agree with you on return of credits when someone hasn’t opened messages or returned a response.

        What bothers me most is that 100% of the men that opened communication were looking for prostitutes. When I wouldn’t come over this meant that obviously the date would never happen. Now should these men get their credits back?

        Ohh and reporting a man doesn’t do anything on this site. He will be there the next day next month etc. The site is about making money so that’s really not an issue for them if the guy is trying to pay for sex.

        Now another point.
        Can someone put a post up that says exactly what a generous member pays to unlock communication? I heard it was $20 per $100. So a $200 offer would charge him $40.00 and if he has purchased $50 in message credits then this will leave him unable to unlock any other dates unless they’re $50 or less.

        What I’m noticing is that within the first message a generous member asks for my phone number or email. This is not for means of communicating any better since he’s not being charged per message after the date has been unlocked, but mainly so he can state openly that’s he looking for a hooker without fear of being reported. When this information isn’t provided and I attempt to make plans directly on the site the generous member stops all communication or worse continues to push for my personal information to the point of getting irate.

        If you’re going to give message credits back, then you should also compensate the attractive member for either a percentage of communication opening or providing an extension to their premium profile after a month of time wasters and prostitute seekers.

        Another idea: If the generous member has not become generous ( not purchased any credits) then why allow him to send an offer? Why have him waste an attractive member’s time? Change that option to “Flirt” or something else. But letting non paying members send offers and having them accept with no intention of opening communication makes me feel like the attractive members are just being freely used as a promotion tool.

        Even the outside of your site says” this person is accepting $20″
        “This other person is offering $50 ” when we already know that once the person joins the site that attractive member would flat out refuse a $50 or even a $90 date. Since we don’t know what anyone’s minimum offer will be this makes sense as to why people join and send very low offers for a date.

        I understand this is a business tactic to get people to join but it’s very misleading.

        5 Generous members that either sent or accepted offers closed their accounts.

        I have yet to speak with an actual generous member that wasn’t looking for a date to start and end in his bedroom. So I’ve had to pass on all of my accepted offers.

        Who knows perhaps I’ll give it another month and see what happens. Or maybe I should delete and come back in 6 months when changes have been put in put in place.

        • tyler says:

          I definitely feel you on that…think you might have misunderstood me a tiny bit. I just meant if an email is never responded too. If you respond to him and the date doesn’t happen then he doesn’t deserve his credits back because he obviously didn’t read your profile and what your about. I’ve been on two dates now and personally I’m not looking for it to go to the bedroom. If I wanted that there’s many other sites for that and in some cases just as expensive as taking an attractive member out. I mean if i see a member is only looking for a sugar daddy i probably won’t take them up on a date…I may email them just to see what their expectations are and if it doesn’t match up I kill it off. I’m mostly just looking to meet people relax and whatever happens after that happens. But if someone doesn’t open an email and read it after accepting the date its obvious they were never seriously on this site to begin with therefore the generous member should be reimbursed to unlock a communication with a serious attractive member. And personally i think this site needs to ban generous members that solicit prostitution from an attractive member even if its off the site…because I’m sure it won’t be long before this site gets investigated if something on par with craigslist starts happening.

          As far as the monthly premium the attractive members pay i didn’t even know you guys had to pay anything. Thats interesting though…but just to tell you the two dates I went on were actually girls who sent me a 50 dollar offer all the other ones that have played games with me were for dates costing 100 plus so apparently the girls that are attractive and cheap are so far the most serious on here.

  5. Jared says:

    There is a massive problem him with the fundamental way the site works with this credit idea. While it seems plausible on paper, it is just not working. I’ve emailed customer service, but have yet to have anything spoken about.

    I’m going to tell this from my (guy) point of view so please know that I do understand there are many men who are bogus too. The problem I’m having is girls accept offers and never follow through. I think they do it to satisfy their ego. I’ve had over 35 accepted offers and I’ve gone on about 3 dates. I have MANY accepted offers where girls haven’t even opened up my email yet! On the other hand, I have many instances where I’ve sent an offer, it was accepted, I sent an email and NEVER heard back again. Really? It is just rude.

    I’ve spent $450 on credit. Three $50 packages and two $150 packages. Almost all women are oblivious to the fact that it costs money – upwards of $50 to unlock a conversation. They have NO IDEA how this site operates. The other problem I’ve found is many times I accept an offer, or have an offer accepted, but we are truly on different pages. To no fault of either party, but there should be some way to be able to chat at least once, or to confirm what each is looking for.

    I belong to another sugardaddy site to which I’ve been a member for over 3 years and it charges a monthly fee of $30. Yes, there is spam here and there, but I’ve been out with dozens, literally, of girls.

    Maybe one day customer service will address my problems and credit me a few hundred credits for all the fake girls I’ve dealt with here.

    I noticed that someone else on this blog said they felt scammed and I brought that EXACT issue up to customer service. I feel like they set up profiles and then you spend money to unlock the conversation and BAM! the profile is gone! Coincidental? I’ve had it happen a few times.

    I’ll agree with the advice another guy has stated. IF you send an offer let HER be the first to email. That way, it doesn’t cost anything to accept an offer. If she follows through in contacting you then you can decide if it is worth unlocking. I have three offers I accepted and I haven’t heard ANYTHING from the girls yet which goes to show they are BS.

    • Suzy says:

      Wow $450 just on credits? Not even including the price of the date? Sorry to hear that. I contacted customer service a month ago and haven’t received a response. Perhaps based on what you’ve spent so far, you’ll receive a real response. I had no clue as to what it was like on the generous member’s end. Thank you for posting your experience.

      • Jared says:

        Yes, Suzy. $450 JUST on credits not including paying for the date. This site is a bust and in my opinion isn’t going to last much longer. I see they like to advertise what good experiences people supposedly have, but everything is pointing to the exact opposite if you read through this thread. A friend of mine joined with me and while his experiences aren’t as catastrophic as mine, they are pretty bad. No responses, keeps buying credits, girls blow him off, etc.
        On average, it is about $15-$20 just to unlock a conversation and girls are completely oblivious to this point.
        And, for the record, I have yet to have a repsonse form customer service. Im’ going ot write them a letter and I’m also going to contest the charges on my credit card b/c I supposedly paid for a service and I’m not receiving it. The service is I’m supposed to be able to communicate with people, but as I’ve pointed out, this isn’t happening. I have a very strong suspicion that the web operators make profiles just to get guys to spend credits.
        Maybe someone on the website will read this and have the courtesy to address me as a paying customer. They’re almost as rude as the supposed girls here

        • NeverStop says:

          Woah man, seriously? If you are spending $15 to unlock a conversation you are doing something really wrong..

          Let’s do the math here:

          If you buy the cheapest package (the just curious one..), then you are getting credits for about $.50 per. (buying the more expensive package is $.25 per) I am going to assume you bought the more expensive package, since you have spent $450 thus far, unless you really bought the $50 package 9 times..

          The minimum cost for a date is 20 credits, which for you would be $5 for the date. In order for you to spend $15 unlocking a date you would have had to make the agreed upon date amount around $750 (assuming a 20% date cost to unlock cost ratio – this seems to be their ratio).

          So tell me, if you are willing to see a girl for one hour, eat dinner, maybe catch a movie, and then hand her $750; why would you be so upset having to pay $15 to contact her?

          I get it though.. I have 20 accepted deals, however I have been on just 7 dates thus far. 5 turned out to be really good – 1 of those being my current girlfriend. And the other 2 were just whores, but I’m not complaining about that really..

          But this is how this game works, I am very careful who I choose to make deals with.. I am not just whimsically clicking unlock on any girl that responds.. Because trust me, they all respond eventually. And why waste time on the whores when you can find your self a real keeper..

        • Lore says:

          OMG your hilarious! And that’s awesome you found your gf. Good luck to you both!

        • Jared says:

          Just as an aside, I literally just had a girl send me an offer and I accepted it and she sent me a message saying “Oh, I JUST read your profile and I’m not interested, but if you want to still go out that is cool”.

          Another 30 credits wasted.

          Such a scam.

        • Zorah Wright says:

          Jared,
          It’s Zorah :-) I did finally have the opportunity to read your profile and I noticed a couple of things that might help you have more success on the site. I understand that you are trying to be very clear with your profile, yet you might consider a few items: When people see things in all-caps they often feel attacked, so you could consider rephrasing those ideas and think about how a woman would like to be spoken to. Also, as a woman, you appear to be a little intense and authoritative which may be off-putting to someone who just wants to go on a date and perhaps meet a very cool, worldly guy. If the worldly guy seems like he doesn’t have any room for another person and he’s got it all covered, where is the mutually beneficial part going to fit?
          Fun things happen when there is spontaneity and flexibility. I’m curious about the rest of your date when you arrived in Paris after the two bottles of wine? Was it as fun at the end as it was getting going?
          My suggestion is to be clear about what you are looking for. If you are looking for a classy date, write a classy profile and leave a little mystery. Try to take a step back and remember that everyone is seeing things through their own ‘rose-colored’ glasses (or not). When you take a step back, you can open yourself and your date to the possibility of chemistry and a great time.

        • Blue says:

          If it helps any I just found out in the last thread it costs money for men to open my emails and I was wondering why they would accept and then not open them. I have never blown anyone off because I have only had one guy follow through. Luckily he was very generous.

          I am guessing most women don’t know it costs you guys PER communication. Maybe that’s the issue and the answer lies in letting women know this. I hate for the site to be in the position of playing nanny but I don’t see how else to resolve this on either side.

        • Blue says:

          Also, I have a problem with the words “Get paid to date, guaranteed.” No one is guaranteeing I get a date or get paid. But if they want to say that, they need to back it up.

          Why not just charge men a larger monthly fee? It must be another job just to be refunding so many people and dealing with so many disappointed customers even if they are making a lot of money.

        • Suzy says:

          Yes again the “guarantee” is another misleading term.

          Also I have decided now to ignore all offers from NON PREMIUMS since they are currently unable to unlock any dates.

          I even received offers from three 19-21 year old sugar daddies. Really? lol

        • Blue says:

          Thank you Suzy I didn’t now that about premium members.
          19-21 LOL LOL

        • Suzy says:

          Well I suppose I just read your profile. Have to say i was surprised it was posted by the site like this in the blog. But anyways I get how some girls could get upset but really you’re honest and straight forward. So why would a girl even send you a higher amount knowing about your expectations unless she was open to deliver?

          Your profile is not all that unusual. Someone in my state has something similar but his date price is $36 or $42 or something close for a basic date. $75 is actually pretty decent.

          So I would suggest from now on only send $75 dates. That way if she will not accept it then you loose nothing.

          I even saw on guy’s profile where he has date amounts for each activity so that he knows exactly what the girl is interested in. I tried adopting his method but no one seemed to be reading my profile because I just got a bunch of random offers anyways.

    • greg says:

      Yea I am tired of emailing and getting no reply back… the cost is really adding up

      • NeverStop says:

        I had a few where the girls never replied. I just hit up support and they gave my credits back for those dates.

      • Zorah Wright says:

        Well Greg, perhaps some of these gals should know a little more about what you are made of? You could update your profile and I’d be happy to vouch for you :-)

    • candy says:

      sorry about your problems I just joined and I would of answered your emails and gone out with you lol. I beleive when you say you will do something you follow through with it. Sometimes I just do not understand people any more. I’m honest and what you see is what you get with me I dont play games at least not the kind that hurt people. any way hope things get better for you guys makes me wonder if I really want to be here.

    • trina says:

      I’m so glad that you posted that point of view from the male perspective. I am on few sugar daddy sites and things seem to be alot smoother. I have been on many dates from those other sites and it just seems to me that this site may be a little scammy in nature. I’m still trying to figure everything out here, but right now things are not looking to good. I’m most likely going to cancel after my month is over. I know that I’m an attractive date, but I’m not getting any decent offers. FYI to the real generous members, I would never not answer an email or up and disappear!

  6. Jared says:

    Yes, Suzy. $450 JUST on credits not including paying for the date. This site is a bust and in my opinion isn’t going to last much longer. I see they like to advertise what good experiences people supposedly have, but everything is pointing to the exact opposite if you read through this thread. A friend of mine joined with me and while his experiences aren’t as catastrophic as mine, they are pretty bad. No responses, keeps buying credits, girls blow him off, etc.

    On average, it is about $15-$20 just to unlock a conversation and girls are completely oblivious to this point.

    And, for the record, I have yet to have a repsonse form customer service. Im’ going ot write them a letter and I’m also going to contest the charges on my credit card b/c I supposedly paid for a service and I’m not receiving it. The service is I’m supposed to be able to communicate with people, but as I’ve pointed out, this isn’t happening. I have a very strong suspicion that the web operators make profiles just to get guys to spend credits.

    Maybe someone on the website will read this and have the courtesy to address me as a paying customer. They’re almost as rude as the supposed girls here

    • NeverStop says:

      Woah man, seriously? If you are spending $15 to unlock a conversation you are doing something really wrong..

      Let’s do the math here:

      If you buy the cheapest package (the just curious one..), then you are getting credits for about $.50 per. (buying the more expensive package is $.25 per) I am going to assume you bought the more expensive package, since you have spent $450 thus far, unless you really bought the $50 package 9 times..

      The minimum cost for a date is 20 credits, which for you would be $5 for the date. In order for you to spend $15 unlocking a date you would have had to make the agreed upon date amount around $750 (assuming a 20% date cost to unlock cost ratio – this seems to be their ratio).

      So tell me, if you are willing to see a girl for one hour, eat dinner, maybe catch a movie, and then hand her $750; why would you be so upset having to pay $15 to contact her?

      I get it though.. I have 20 accepted deals, however I have been on just 7 dates thus far. 5 turned out to be really good – 1 of those being my current girlfriend. And the other 2 were just whores, but I’m not complaining about that really..

      But this is how this game works, I am very careful who I choose to make deals with.. I am not just whimsically clicking unlock on any girl that responds.. Because trust me, they all respond eventually. And why waste time on the whores when you can find your self a real keeper..

    • Lore says:

      Hold up Jared, just for the record, I ALWAYS respond, and I’m actually very nice and not rude. (so people tell me lol) I understand your frustrations, I have a few of mine to as in accepting offers from guys then never hearing from them again. But they are still tweaking the system and I am hopeful some resolutions will eventually be found. Just remember that just about everything that is created most always comes with a few bugs that need to be worked out.

    • Brandon Wade says:

      Jared,

      I have already personally written to your private email to address the concerns you have. But in ALL FAIRNESS, I have to speak up to defend WhatsYourPrice.com. This website works only if you play by the rules we have laid out. While I agree that there are still some issues with the website that can be improved (and we are working on improving those), the website does work and we have real testimonials to prove it.

      HERE IS WHY I THINK THE WEBSITE ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU.

      You really really need to re-look at what you wrote in your profile!

      http://www.whatsyourprice.com/~nycballerino

      Your profile essentially says: Accept a $75 or less date from me if you only want dinner and nothing more, or if you are asking for more than $100, expect to have sex with me.

      IMPORTANT: This website is not about sex on the first date and we clearly state that, so from a female point of view, what you wrote in your profile may sound quite demeaning.

      SUGGESTION: Please look at the profiles of the guys who wrote successful testimonials, and use them as a guide on how you should write your profile, or conduct yourself on this website. Also, read one of our earlier posts about the WhatsYourPrice Dating Etiquette.

      http://blog.whatsyourprice.com/?p=906

      If anyone else wants to check out Jared’s profile, perhaps you can offer him some constructive advice as well.

    • tyler says:

      haha thanks for saying my advice was good…although I have to agree what was said about your profile I mean if your not willing to pay a bit more for just dinner and being together chances are alot of them will blow you off. Personally the way I’m veiwing this site is a neat and interesting way to meet girls…yeah its expensive but so far the two I’ve met definitely have way more relationship potential then any of the girls i’ve ever met so at least I can say it attracts a classier set of women…well in some cases lol. But saying you want something intimate…well I mean I can expect something more and if I get an offer from an attractive member that requires travelling I email them and am up front about it that 1. I’m not expecting sex, but I am expecting to spend more time then just a quick dinner…now if they’re the ones travelling on their own dime to see me then sure yeah of course a quick dinner not a problem.

      My thing with starting this conversation about the credits is that I saw Blue and some other ladies complaining about guys not emailing them immediately. So figured I’d enlighten them as to what the probable cause is. Now the safest thing is just wait for them to email you unless they’re really close to your area and your very interested and wait a few days see how often they log on and view your profile you can catch a trend. And hell one thing I noticed that I needed to pay more attention to is never ever ever unlock a communication with a girl who has not viewed your profile!!! If you don’t see them on that veiwed list ignore them untill they look, because they are most definitely time vampires.

      • Candy says:

        I’d still go out with you tyler and I do not know how old you are or anything about you lol I just like your conviction your passion i geuss lol
        I wouldnt stand you up who ever did is just plain dumb

  7. Blue says:

    I love this article and am going to pass it on to my girl friends! Thanks

  8. danoise says:

    Hi

    I received difference offers, BUT as soon I akcept I do not hear a thing. It also happend I had an appointment and the person cancelled it. I think it is a real pitty that some people are using this web as a playstation. I find it enoying to face all this fake stuff and games. It is not only on this site, this kind of vampires like you call them are on all websites. I do still beleive that theres normal people around in this world, but they became rare I am afraid:-))

    • Zorah Wright says:

      Danoise, they are out there. Re-read your profile. Don’t get offended. This is not personal (yet). How could it be-they don’t even know you. There are lots of things that can constitute these let-downs. Stick with it and try new things.

  9. MsCyn says:

    I agree with Blue and others that this is a great article.

    I find that WYP, but more so SA and other sites, tend to have time vampires. I tend to get straight to the point with those I message on ANY site. I no longer do IMs on other sites due to time vampires, if can’t email me, send me a photo, or call me, then I know you’re not real.

    I have no problems answering any pre-date questions, but as you’ve mentioned, I’m not going to play email games back and forth either.

    SA & Other Sites:
    “If you’re serious, let’s meet, your treat,” is one of my most common lines I use in response to an initial email/flirt on another site. I find my time to be just as sensitive as any ‘generous’ member, and while I don’t do same day dates, I do like to meet within 1-2 weeks of initial emailing.

    I normally include that with an email address I have just for dating sites and my Google voice #. I never hand out my personal cell number until I feel safe with someone. But this does let interested parties verify I’m a real woman, and not fake, or worse a man, lol.

    Concerning ‘Generous’ Members:
    I’ve personally had issues with members that send an offer and then either NEVER read my response (I always send a response with an accepted offer), or never respond?

    I’ve taken to not “winking” or making offers at non-premium members because of this. I think it should be mandatory for ‘generous’ members to either pay to join (trial membership, etc) or not be allowed to extend offers if they haven’t purchased credits? (Otherwise, ‘attractive’ members are just wasting their time too.)

    As far as responding to profiles go, if you have ANYTHING about SEX in your “first date” area, I will NOT accept an offer from you! I also specifically state in my profile that I’m not looking for ‘casual encounters’ nor do I offer ‘escort services.’

    I actually turned down a guy today because he sent me an offer and clearly stated in his profile that he was basically looking for nothing but SEX? To me that’s incredibly distasteful and tacky to put that into your profile, and it would probably explain why he’s still dating.

  10. Bobby the K says:

    I have to defend this site because I have been having incredible dates, although I left the site and will join again if these dates don’t continue.

    I’m not sure why I’m having great dates on this site. I think it may be luck or because I’m extremely up front about expectations and extremely honest about what to expect from a woman.

    Expecting anymore than a nice date from a woman, that is sex, is to me preposterous. A woman makes the choice! As a guy, you unfortunately are taking a risk. You are paying to get your foot into the door, but then it’s on you to charm her. It may take several paid dates. But ultimately she makes the choice.

    Now there are some women on here who are in it just for the money, but a user made an excellent point. Explain your expectations beforehand, especially on your profile.

    And for the women, if you tell a guy you are not just in it for the money, don’t accept a second date if you have no desire to meet him again!!!

    • tyler says:

      Definitely agree with you on this one bobby, expecting sex is pointless you meet any non-working girl and tell her if you take her on an amazing date and you want sex afterwards chances are she’s going to blow you off as a player or slap you. Although I’m not sure how I feel about the paying for a date more then once. I tell the girls straight up thats probably not going to happen but if the chemistry is there expect a really really great second date. It is a way to get your foot in the door though and hey if your looking to be a sugar daddy thats awesome too.

      But being up front and paying attention to the girl and her profile and whats on yours and clarifying any grey areas in the email is definitely a way to weed through the problems. I made dumb mistakes on contacting girls on here and would love it if the site would clean out some dumb offers I accepted. And once again to the ladies if your serious please send the guy an email first even if it just saying hi i’m so and so and this is what i’m expecting blah blah blah and hell tell the guy what kind of food or something you like too lol. I mean I know thats the opposite of the gender roles but for this site it might make you ladies a bit more successful as well by showing us guys your not wasting those credits.

  11. queen says:

    If you guys like other dating sites and met tons of girls then why are you still here if things are so great?

  12. M5man says:

    I am on board with Tyler and Bobby. I have had quite a few successful dates and only a couple of non-dates after paying to open communication(in both instances I felt the attractive member made a genuine effort to meet but our schedules could not coordinate and we may still meet one day).

    I agree with the other guys not to expect sex, but an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting and see what is possible in the future. Things that have helped me increase the likelihood of ensuring communication and a date are:
    1)Find a profile I find genuinely interesting, not one with only two or so generic lines of description and one blurry or distant picture.
    2)Someone who appears fun but exudes intelligence and creativity.
    3)Preferably someone who may have a job, truly in school, or building a career with a plan.
    4)Of course someone who has logged in within a couple of weeks.
    5)Agree with opening communication after your profile is viewed, although this can be blocked by the attractive member in the privacy settings.
    6)Be patient, I am sure these ladies get pages of offers they have to sift through, including all the flakes and game players.
    7)I always make high offers, usually at least twice the average and pay with cash(full amount) in a nice card at the beginning of the date. That way all is done and we can enjoy ourselves.
    8)I am always respectful and friendly but not a pushover.

    All in all I think this site is an excellent source to make new acquaintances with people one may not typically meet in our daily lives.

    hope that helps…..

  13. queen says:

    I would imagine if a girl had a job she would not have the time or need to meet random strangers online for dollars. The risk is way to high for fowl play.

    • Blue says:

      Hmm…I’m a bit confused by your statement. I agree my time is worth money. What if you own your own company, work part time, and want to make a few hundred dollars an hour for dinner? My last date here was $500. Works for me.

      • Zorah Wright says:

        Blue if it works for you, it’s good. When girls agree to $200 then ask for $500 when they see his car, not so good… You seem to be in a mode. Have you had many second or third dates or met anyone special?

  14. Bobby the K says:

    I also wish there was another site similar to this, but not aimed completely at these out of the stratosphere attractive women. Just “normal” women. It would have a dollar limit. A lot of my sister’s friends would not join this site because they’d be intimidated by how many “really hot” women there are on this site. Although I’m not certain about this and it would probably take some marketing research. But I’d also definitely join a site like that and feel quite comfortable telling my friends about it.

  15. queen says:

    I just saw a profile on the mens side that clearly says he wants sex and even said he is not paying until after the sex act. How can this guy keep a profile up like that who is clearly breaking the rules and…..news flash. No escort would ever take payment after sex.

    • tyler says:

      Yeah I would say he needs to be censored…really would hate to see this site shut down because of prostituion

  16. Sheri says:

    I need some advice from the ladies who have already been on a few dates. If you’ve arrived at the date and the guy doesn’t offer payment within the first 10 minutes, would you simply excuse yourself and leave without saying a word, or would you let him know you’re leaving because you don’t think he’s serious?

    Also, could someone kindly give me a few ideas on ways to politely excuse myself from a date that isn’t going so well?

  17. queen says:

    I once had to ask a guy for payment after a five hr date and he said if i pay you that you could just leave. I had to tell him the money was for the date we where just on. He clearly thought the money was for sex because he was trying to get me to take him to my place. He gave me the money but it did take some arm twisting.

    • tyler says:

      Oh and I keep seeing things like this on these comments from the ladies. That the guy is expecting sex. I’m starting to wonder if this site is naturally attracting the wrong kind of men or if its the ladies profiles that are making the men think the wrong thing. My guess just the wrong type of men. The few dates I’ve gone on so far have been fun, but never took it down that road and always try to split the money half up front half after…that way if things are going terrible theres no hard feelings if its ended shortly after it begins. However you ladies definitely should do the guy and yourselves a favor by asking what his expectations are for the date. If you think he wants to get you in bed after that and you get a feeling he’s going to be a pain then kill the communication. Not saying that will alleviate the troubles, but if a girl on here tills me she’s looking for one thing and I don’t have the means to live up to that I’m going to tell her straight up that it won’t work. Maybe I’m just a rare genuine guy I don’t know…but you girls definitely need to be a little more clear and blunt about the expectations thing. Get that cleared up and be blunt about the no sex rule and when you expect to receive the payment. And if the guy can’t live up to any of that or seems overly weird or creepy kill the date!!! No need to waste your time on a game player when theres good guys out here that are trying to be good and charm you all into that rare second date.

  18. PM5000 says:

    I have had success on this site, with ease.
    I’ve winked and made offers. Im married, i do have to take time to schedule things.
    My advice READ THE INDIVIDUALS profile THOROUGHLY.
    Depending on price of date, decides what I ask before we meet. High price: high ‘expectations’. Low price, lets have coffee and feel each other out ‘figuratively’ of course.
    Personally speaking I have had the best results from WYP, compared to other sites.
    Everyone of them costs money ‘I love private enterprise’, and the price and product seem to be well balanced to me.
    This is supposed to be fun, remember!
    Last bit of advice ‘treat each other like you would want to be treated’. It has never failed me yet

  19. Lana says:

    I think, dealing with the time vampire, or someone who backs out…
    my biggest fears areL 1) I will be meeting with an undercover cop, and somehow I will end up in jail even though this isn’t supposed to be “prostitution.” 2) I will end up with someone who wants to kill me or rape me. I mean, honestly, if the generous male members are paying for this service, why isn’t the cost of a background check included? If the site did routine background checks, just basics to search for criminal records or fraud, I would feel much more comfortable on this site.
    As it is I am terrified of being hacked into itty bitty pieces, and I am terrified of getting arrested.

    • Zorah Wright says:

      Lana, let’s take a step back for a second. This is a dating site. There is nothing different from any other site once you agree to your date other than what you agreed on. For the most part, in my 10-year history of on and off internet dating, I have always met intelligent people who were at least a step (if not more) beyond average and found them to be human. Frankly I’ve met much stranger people in person at parties. My suggestion to you is to please, please only go on a date if you are comfortable. And never go against your intuition.

  20. Roger says:

    I’m a newbie here and really don’t don’t know what to expect. I’m in an open relationship and would like something different now and again. Anyway, I’ve really not spent much time dating in my life and so don’t know much about the rules. Any information would be appreciated!

  21. Michelle says:

    Hey Roger

    I agree with you on the plain vanilla.

  22. sports says:

    Brasil hero Romario expects Russia to progress past the group stages at the WC while saying Zlatan Ibrahimovic would play in any team of his.

  23. FScottFitzgerald says:

    There are a lot of assumptions to this process and common sense issues to consider. For one, too many on the site are frankly soliciting for sex. Its not that way in their profile but on first contact there is a RUSH to have the date. The moment they talk of setting up a motel or hotel room is a red flag. The same regarding a ‘rush’ to a destination (what do do). Many are escorts, call girls or prostitutes. There is a pay to play communication that may not take place on the WYP site but is the point of the phone call or e-mail. Frankly its dangerous to go forward without at least a small amount of courtesy, e-mail and phone communication. Yes, we all pick public places and careful of our surroundings as much as Men for women and women for men. Then there are those who agree to our profiles (preferred dates) who later give one excuse or another why they want it to be much different. And as one blogger stated well (paraphrased)”if its all about money its not then what most are seeking.” Essentially (if BW has explained it best) this is an initial qualifier to have a date. But too many want to treat men like a free ATM or Benefactor (much more suited for the SA Site than WYP. And then there are those who just stand you up. They are no shows. Or no replies once a date is set. Its still an awkward process that does not always materialize in a date. But when it can or does and the template works well then its gratitude from both for the opportunity to have an introduction, meet and see if there will be subsequent dating. Its much better than most singles sites but its still awkward because we are people meeting people. Its not as cut and dry as the marketing and FAQs otherwise state.

  24. William Knight says:

    Can anyone else be prepaid cards to work on this site?

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