A Step By Step Guide To Being A Lady
  • Posted Aug 14, 2012
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Being a woman does not automatically make you classy. If you want to be treated like a princess, and date a gentleman, then you need to act like a lady… not a whore. The truth hurts sometimes, but we are only doing this because we care.

How to be a lady

When He Picks You Up

1) Are you appropriately dressed without revealing too much?
2)  If he shows up on time, will you be ready?
3)  Is your scent overpowering, or just subtle enough?
4)  When getting into a car, did you enter sitting with your legs together?
5)  Did you put your phone on silent?

During Dinner

1) Did you sit with your legs together, skirt pulled down, napkin on lap at the table?
2) Did you avoid re-applying make up at the table?
3) Did you order modestly from the menu?
4) Did you avoid overindulging yourself with food and alcohol?
5) Did you set down your fork or spoon between each bite?

During Conversation

1) Did you avoid cursing or talking dirty?
2) Did you direct an equal part of the conversation towards him?
3) Did you avoid looking at your cell phone?
4) Did you maintain eye contact during exchanges?
5) Did you contribute to the conversation?

After Dinner

1) Did you offer to split the bill?
2) Did you share your appreciation for the meal?
3) Did you let your date lead you?

Going Home

1) Did you let him walk you to your door?
2) Did you thank him for the evening and hug/kiss him on the cheek?
3) Did you avoid being too forward?
4) If it was a miss, did you avoid leading him on?

Like these dating tips? Share them with your friends!

What are other classy ways to act like a lady on a date?
What’s the least classiest thing a woman can do on a date?

76 Responses to “A Step By Step Guide To Being A Lady”

  1. Brandon Wade says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome on the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” page on the WhatsYourPrice blog.

  2. betty says:

    Split the bill when he says on front page no going dutch…lol!

  3. tom says:

    A few women on here are using this site to get there fix so they could care less about etiquette. Its no lie either just look at some of the profiles…

  4. bobby the k says:

    Ahh, avoid leading him on. How beautiful ! :)

  5. betty says:

    Tom, i do not think you are ready to date in general just yet. Perhaps more reading, learning and less blabbing.

  6. WYP Expert Dater says:

    Tom, dont worry about Betty, she is the woman you want to avoid on this site. She cannot understand that other people have opinions.

  7. Magno says:

    I think Mr. Wade copied and pasted this list….offer to split the bill? Seriously? On a first date from THIS website? Oh, now that is really funny! What happened to the “no going Dutch” mantra?

    Aside from that, I honestly don’t care how a lady enters a car, and if she is really thin, I encourage her to….EAT, EAT, and EAT! The notion that a ‘lady’ should go light and order a salad, is so 20th century thinking.

    And my gosh, a hug or a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening, even if the date was a colossal dissaster? I don’t think so. That is a yellow light, not a solid red.

    Being a lady has little to do with silly antiquated notions such as these. I realize this list is meant as a general guideline, but it’s pretty lame.

    Just refrain from being rude, aloof, disrespectful, and crass, and that’s a start.

  8. Magno says:

    By the way, Betty, what you said to Tom is an example of being rude. What Tom stated happens to be true to some extent. Notice he said ‘some’ of the women? Perhaps I should do a little less reading?

  9. Magno says:

    Actually, Tom said a ‘few’ women, but that’s just semantics at this point.

  10. betty says:

    To say something about girls needing a fix means they are on drugs and need more drug money. Rude gets rude back or at least should. All i mean is if you hate the people on here why be on here. That goes both ways!

  11. magno says:

    Betty,

    Are you saying it is not reasonable to expect that ‘a few’ of the women on this site are abusers of substances?

    Again, he didn’t say anything that isn’t most likely factual.

    Just as likely that ‘a few’ of the men on this site are addicted to sex. I see nothing rude in stating such.

    Where is the hate in Tom’s message?

    Am I totally missing something here?

  12. tom says:

    No hate in my message intended. I have dated people on this site who i later found out were coke heads, How do i know this? SHE DID A DRUG DEAL RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! JFC MAN. So it does exist i have seen it first hand. Needless to say i cut communication right there and got out of there before law enforcement arrived. I have a clean record and plan to keep it. Was not worth the risk. Plus she was ten years older than she said on her profile. I have nothing against women on this site as long as it is used for the purpose intended. Screening would be nice for both sexes on this site.

  13. Staci says:

    I was just reading the blog and I thought that I would put in my two cents. It seems no one is really answering or focusing on the topic and are addressing Tom’s issue so I guess I’ll jump on it too…lol.

    If the woman arrived and you found out she was ten years older than what her profile stated then that’s the moment you should have cut off all communication because that alone let’s you know she is a liar and probably can’t be trusted. Yet YOU still decided to take this woman out. So whose fault is it that she dealt drugs right in front of you? You’ve said you’ve dated “people” on this website who turned out to be coke heads. Maybe you should learn how to screen “people” better because this is what you are gravitating towards. If the site did screen women do you really think that it would smoke out the undesirables? I think not! Funny how you’re a bit salty about your experiences on here YET you are still on here and you’ll probably still be on here three months from now…lol

    @Magno~I totally agree with you about the silly list.

  14. betty says:

    Tom, report her profile and they will delete her if shes buying drugs on dates. It seems to be a strange story though. How did she find a random drug dealer? And why is all of a sudden we have all these new guys on the blog talking crazy. Are you just changing your name to back up your own story. None of these name ever posted in the past so its rather shady! Adm

  15. Sophie says:

    The blogs seem to turn more into what the intention of users of this site are, more than the topic at hand.

    I do not think any etiquette will make a difference. Like Magno said, as long as you are not rude and you are actually ‘there’ on the date, it is ok.

    Chemistry is the only think that will make the date a success or not. I am over 6ft tall. So when a date turned up in a near to the ground sports car, I had to get in however I could :D

    Luckily I had a modest skirt on :)

  16. Magno says:

    Betty,

    Do a simple advanced search for my profile….magno, and it will alleviate your conspiracy theory. Tom and I are not the same person.

    Why is it so difficult to fathom that there are…albeit, a small percentage of women on this site that have less then stellar backgrounds and undesirable hanits and doings?

    It’s a shame you can’t browse some female profiles to get an idea of what I am talking about.

    As Tom said, a Gentleman that does NOT screen carefully, can find himself in a pickle he might have a tough time explaining to law enforcement.

    “Officer, I don’t know this young woman. In fact, it’s our first date. You see, I paid her money to have dinner with me and”….

    Uh, yeah. It’s time to contract a Defense Lawyer, and possibly say goodbye to your present employer.

    Some of the Gentlemen on these blogs take a beating for being “fussy”, or “asking too many questions before the date.”

    Well, try seeing things from the other side of the fence. Sorry, but I ALWAYS want to have a good idea of who I am dealing with. That goes with business, as well as in my personal life.

    It’s the prudent thing to do. It’s not hating on the ladies….some of us have just experienced wyp dating dissasters, is all. It’s no different from the challenges and risks inherent in other online dating websites.

    Too bad friends don’t introduce friends anymore. That social system seemed to work fir our parents generation of the 60′s.

  17. tom says:

    I am not the above poster. I am not making up what i said. That above story was my first experience with this site. Not a good one. I have since used more common sense and do my own screening through emails and google. If something is sketchy i now just move on, not worth the risk.

  18. betty says:

    Mango, your profile is very negative.

  19. Magno says:

    Betty,

    Thanks for your input from a woman’s perspective…

    But I don’t quite understand. What, exactly, seems negative with regards to my profile?

    Just curious, because I have more ‘winks’ than I know what to do with.

    It’s been a constant challenge weeding through the clutter, to get to the profiles that are worth my time and attention.

    I would appreciate a second set of eyes, and a second opinion from another woman that is active on the blogs.

    If anything, I tried to ensure rhe contents of my profile was concise, and communicated very clearly without imbeguity, what I am seeking.

    I don’t see that as being negative….just precise.

  20. Harley says:

    You rock, Betty! :)

  21. Lore says:

    @ Magno, was just curious do you talk the way you write?

  22. Lore says:

    I found so many things wrong with the article, for one splitting the bill as everyone pointed out, is a no no on here, the other thing I have a problem with is “did you let him walk you to your door?” Any woman that has a blind date pick her up at her house is a fool. Always Always meet in a public place, AND do not get into their car to go to a 2nd location. Alway drive yourself. Be vigilant about your safety. Some of the other things are just offense ” Did you thank him for the evening and hug/kiss him on the cheek?” There should never be any expectation for physical contact, I’m not gonna hug or kiss someone that tried to molest me thru out the date, or I just might not feel comfortable, my choice. ” Did you avoid being too forward?” REALLY? ” If it was a miss, did you avoid leading him on?” again REALLY? Sometimes I think these articles were brought home and given to their teenager to write.

  23. Canyoulivewithit says:

    Magno, hello.
    This is my first itme on the blog but I wanted to read your profile and give you my opinion, but I searched on MAGNO in advanced username search and keyword search and it turned up nothing :(

    I agree with most of the post that this list is antiquated in many respects, but the intentions were pure.

  24. Canyoulivewithit says:

    Oh, Magno, just in case it wasnt a typo…ambiguity :)

  25. Canyoulivewithit says:

    Ok, Magno, I found it, finally. I have to agree with you that it is very straightforward, informative, declarative, and unambiguous with a bit of hautiness thrown in for sh*ts & giggles.

    I agree because i have been accused of the same writing style on a different website (my profile was twice as long as urs, lol). After being told numerous times to just “shut up & look pretty,” a vocal gentleman was actually able to tell me why it was a turn off. And I actually found some merit in what he was saying.

    So, I say the same to you. You can be quite definitve in your desires, but equally so, extoll your virtues and what you will contribute to the evening.

    For what its worth *stepping down off my sopbox*.

    Ciao

  26. Magno says:

    Ok…but how is my profile ‘being negative’ when all I am trying to be definitive? My original profile draft caused a bombardment of winks from women I had absolutely no interest in.

    On an unrelated topic, while I have the ‘soap box’…

    Perhaps you can help me understand the mindset of women that continually re-send winks when the Gentlemen have rejected them….sometimes 3,4, and even 5 times? I have had to block about 10 ladies that kept sending winks.

    I don’t get it. That partially wxplains why I have stopped responding to winks from women, altogether. Enough bad apples spoils it for the rest.

    @Lore. I don’t think I know anyone that communicates verbally in the same manner in which they write. If I did, I suspect I would come across as a tediously dull dufas. So no, I don’t.

  27. Lore says:

    @Magno I have met people that DO talk the way they write, so that was the reason why I asked, and just my 2 cents on your profile, it is straight forward but also could be looked at as a bit condescending. Lastly regarding your question why some women are hitting you up 3 – 4 times even though you reject their winks, I am guessing they are doing a blitz and hitting up many profiles at once, or maybe they send so many winks they forget who rejected them.

  28. bobby the k says:

    The splitting the bill thing is interesting. I would never expect a woman to offer to split the bill.

  29. T says:

    I don’t think Betty ever said anything that should stir up such a fuss. She was only defending the reputation of the women who use this site. I don’t know why the guys who harp on their bad experiences keep coming back to the site to post on the blog.

    I didn’t look at the above guys post, but in general if someone thinks a profile is negative, it’s usually because it’s full of what the person “doesn’t want” rather than having an emphasis on what the person “does want.”

    As for the tips, yeah, the offering to pay half thing is bogus considering the other information on the site. I really wish these blogs topics were geared towards things that actually relate to this actual site, rather than just general dating advice, which I could have just googled myself, to be honest. The point about ordering modestly is usually only applicable to the first couple of dates, though, and the reasoning is that you don’t want the guy to get the idea that you only came out for a free meal. There was some article that precedes this site about how a girl in the Upper West Side used match to get free meals all week long to offset her crazy rent she wasn’t used to – hence the order modestly. Once the guy knows you’re into him, then you can relax on those stupid rules.

  30. chris says:

    It seems to me mango that you are trying to use big words as if you are better than everyone. It does seem very rude. I am not sure how not having a membership and sexy even go together. You lost me on many of the points you try to make.

  31. bobby the k says:

    I actually like the articles. They’re good, concise reminders.

  32. Prettybee213 says:

    @T I totally agree with your comment. The posts do not match up with the website just like some of the sa blog posts. It must be a copy/paste job from eharmony lol

    Many of the men that post in the blog section seem to always have something negative to say about the women on this site. Stop complaining about the past..move on. I have definitely had to kiss a few toads but you don’t see me whining about it.

  33. Canyoulivewithit says:

    @ Chris…I cannot speak for Magno, but I wud venture to say that those who choose to use 50 cent words may not be condescending. Some truly have a love of vocabulary and have adopted words that sit well with them. I expect that my daughter will be one of these ppl, as I am. She has consistently, and erroneously, lol, used words outside of her realm of understanding since she was 3. I believe she likes the way they feel in her mouth and the sound they make when spoken. I know I do. Plus, some just love to learn and using what we’ve learned comes naturally. Please dont take it as disdain.
    But ladies shud be aware that this is the level of communication and intelligence he will be most compatible with. That is NOT to say that those who do not choose to converse thusly are unintelligent. There are different varieties of intelligence ( i.e., social, academic, physical, etc). This is only one.

  34. Canyoulivewithit says:

    @Magno…the blitz answer sounds good for the repeat winks.
    I did not say ur profile was negative, but since having that talk with that gentleman, I understand now how it can be construed as negative. My suggestion was the suggestion he gave me, in order to get across to great potential dates who may perceive it as such. That is to incorporate why you think you would be a great date. :)

  35. Plzbelieveme says:

    Yeah, I will jump in this argument, since I last posted, I went on a date. She said her brother and sister were staying with her and she needed to go get them dinner. Another waste of $$, these gold diggers are joke. I have had no girl offer to split the tab on this site ever. Why would they ? They are after the money…and thats all. Gl to everyone trying to find a good girl on here……

  36. chris says:

    Im sure it was a mistake to post the ladies should offer to split the bill. I am sure it is just standard dating tips.

  37. Magno says:

    @Canyoulivewithit, thanks for the support. (Not like a bra)
    @Chris, The last thing I want to do is come off as a complete jerk. A kind, caring, considerate, thoughtful, well intentioned buffoon, perhaps…but not a jerk….so….
    @Betty, I took into consideration what you, and the others, had to say with regards to the gist, impression, and overall vibe my profile conveyed, and revised the contents accordingly.

    I think the contents contained within still communicates the necessities, without harboring the ills of negativity, condescension, arrogance, or any other underlying faction of that reprehensible ilk.

    Having said that, I still have designs on discouraging roughly 98 percent of the profiles from expressing an interest. I believe this revision accomplishes that in a socially gracious, and acceptable manner.

    Feel free to check it out again. Thanks for your input.

    One last thing with regards to the manner in which I communicate by way of the written word: At birth, oxygen was cut off to my brain, causing what the Doctors described as brain damage. A few days later, they described it more as a mild case of Cerebral Palsy. In any event, the end result was speech, and other various impairments, physical, and otherwise, that caused me to be ridiculed and bullied as a child. (I overcame and squashed these challenges by my teen years through dedication and hard work with therapists). The end result of my near death at birth is I predominently utilize a different portion of my brain than ‘normal’ people. This partially explains why my written communication style may differ from others in the mainstream. I process thoughts in a vastly opposing manner, sometimes with wildly offbeat vernacular expounding from the keyboard.

    It’s not arrogance, it’s memorex. (That was a joke for those keeping score at home).

  38. bobby the k says:

    That’s great and that’s funny.

  39. Plzbelieveme says:

    Hey guys just leting you know theres some girls on here with multiple accounts, I went out with a girl, and her multiple account blocked me, which leads me to believe shes not using her first account anymore, her picture is the exactly the same.

  40. Magno says:

    Perhaps she just suffers from multiple personality disorder. If so, look at it this way: with one profile, you have a chance to date several women in a one stop shop. You just have to hope none of her personas is psychotic, sadistic, or otherwise dangerous to your well being.

    Or yeah, it’s probable she simply has some twisted reason to have more than one account.

  41. Sam Spayed says:

    Elegance and class cannot be summarized in a concise set of rules. These traits are manifest in a woman or man’s response to a situation. Yes, there are guidelines. But no rules.

    Likewise it is difficult to assess elegance and class from a profile. Certainly it is easier to rule out those attributes from a profile. But to determine the difference between a pretender and the genuine article? Difficult.

    But personally I can interact well with those who may not have perfected elegant manners. On the other hand, I don’t work well with women who have no respect for elegance. It isn’t something you do everywhere and all the time: that becomes pretentious and frankly tiring.

    I supported an SB long ago who was genuine in her desire to lean to be a lady. She was raised in a rural, uneducated and poor background with little opportunity to learn from her friends or family. She was a willing and eager student, her Eliza Doolittle to my Henry Higgins.

    All sites of this sort entail risk, in particular of encounters with persons who misrepresent themselves or have poorly telegraphed motives. Let’s keep in mind that nobody is forced to use the site and it’s unlikely any of us will change human nature concerning deception and greed. It is up to the customers to determine if the rewards are worth the risks.

  42. bobby the k says:

    Magno,

    You’re right. There’s one on here who is from Las Vegas as well as Santa Monica. But either I’ve been really lucky, or I can see who has a bogus profile, because I’ve been four out of four on decent to remarkable dates. Nothing super bad. But that of course is not a great sample statistically speaking. I’m hoping to go five for five soon.

  43. BeResponsible says:

    I just got a job as a statistics teacher and will bring up a controversial topic here. Guys, you’re a dickhead if you get a woman pregnant and don’t own up to the responsibility. Census Bureau stats show that 4.3 million women who were never-married mothers make less than $20,000. That’s a 1995 statistic before the internet and online dating went full bloom. Divorced mothers fare much better, by a million, in the under $20,000 range. I respect the single mother fight, but it can’t be easy. Use every means necessary to prevent pregnancy if you have no desire to marry the woman. I can tell you exactly who will be a behavior problem in my classroom. Single mother babies!

    It’s quite obvious from this website that the statistic is true.

  44. Breanna says:

    Unless I’m in a committed relationship, I will never, ever ask to split the bill..especially not on a first date. I don’t think I’m obligated to.

  45. lynnnster says:

    I find the psychology of your comments very interesting. I have just joined this site and have had no dates yet, but I think I may have to rethink this :)

  46. arianna says:

    i am new to this site and i was kind of wondering if accepting money to go on dates (bidding) for dates is considered prostitution, and one other thing… do they give you the money for going out with them when they see you????

  47. prettypetal says:

    I can sum up a guide to being a lady in two words :
    Have virtue.
    How?
    Show self-respect, enough to do your self up to make yourself feel good about your presentation to the world and to your own standards of prettiness, instead of baiting for a boyfriend with sex, fish for a gentleman with your inner qualities, let your soft-heartenedness shine (its not a weakness, its a female strength), show how much you respect yourself by being respectful of others (e. g. , don’t bad-mouth your exes, or speak disparagingly about other women, etc. ).
    Avoid talking his ear off . Dating is a chance for a woman to learn about the man, she learns nothing if she is too immature, or self-centered, to ask intriguing questions and then LET HIM ANSWER. Whatever a man needs to know about a woman, he can figure out on his own. Contrary to popular opinion these days, men are in fact NOT stupid and do not think with their…who -ha’s (they are driven by them – but in fact are capable of intelligent thought and using their brains)
    Need a mental image of how to dress attractively yet modestly without baiting with sex? Think : business world. What would be appropriate and earn a woman respect at a board room meeting, or a business cocktail party? Here’s a hint – its not trying to copy the men, and its not a skimpy little dress
    There are my two cents. I have a few more pennies in my mental pocket, but I can’t give away all of my secrets to the competition! :)

  48. anon says:

    Wow sexest much

  49. chuck says:

    I think being a lady means knowing exactly what you want and being able to tell your date without fear. I want my date to be honest and open. We are all adults and use this site for a purpose. As long as the woman is polite (i.e., please and thank you), there is nothing wrong with a little (or a lot) of skin, candid conversations and grown up words.

  50. Cera says:

    Ladies – I would suggest doing some simple research on table manners and etiquette. Some information may be outdated but you should at least know which fork to use and where to put your napkin…
    **Doing a background check isn’t a bad idea. Ladies, be safe! Let a friend or family member know where you will are and who he is. Definitely get his first and last name.
    I had a guy ask me out, did a quick search and he was listed on the sex offenders website! Needless to say I am glad I typed his name into a Google. There are some very scary people out there: predators, users, abusers etc.
    Better SAFE than sorry.
    Guys you could do the same if you are worried about a woman’s credibility.

  51. Cera says:

    Type- o!
    Meant to write:
    “Let a friend or family member know where you will be at and who you will be with.”

  52. arealcad says:

    put the phone on mute? Are you kidding me? Every date the phone is on, and texting occurs. I encourage it. I encourage my date to text her pals the moment she arrives. No need to retreat to the bathroom, just do it. Besides, I don’t want her pals busting in because they think I’ve kidnapped my date and taken her to my dungeon or something. (I don’t even own a dungeon, f’r crying out loud!)

    And dinner dates? C’mon. It takes too long. You either click or not within minutes. Who wants to go through the ordeal of a meal? All that waiting around to order then waiting for the food and all that chewing and trying to carry on a conversation. Phhhuuut.

    Meet for drinks after work, it’ll be over in less than a 1/2 hour, then retreat to your respective corners, evaluate and decide come out for round two at some later date if you want to.

    Plus it’s a great way to stack dates. I’ve done it numerous times; usually just two – back to back. Once I tried three dates in one night – 6pm, 8pm and 10pm. No overlap. I never left the location. After 45 minutes, I stood up and announced “thanks for meeting me, I hope you had a good time and I wasn’t totally “creepy” or something like that. I walked her to the door and a hearty handshake (no hugging or kiss on the cheek) boom out the door she went and I go back at my table for the next one.

    Much better than spreading them out over a week or something.

    The only drawback was I was slightly tipsy by the end of the third date – but that’s because I had two drinks per date.

  53. Katrina says:

    All of the men on here are hilarious!

    One thing i don’t understand is when you all say that women are only here for the money. But in retrospect are all men here for sex then?

    I signed up my male friend on here and he has had loads of punters knocking on his profile door yet I have not had more then one offer me a date. Someething I was quite shocked about considering on other sites where one can find a better quality of men I have 10 new interests every day.

    His experience has been that most women would like money before they ever even meet. They ask for half the money through paypa and half when they meet up. Kind of lame! But then again I don’t really feel sorry for him because he is only after sex in any case.

    My experience was bad so far. I was meant to meeet up with a guy who took the train near me. I couldn’t make it in time and told him to walk down the high street to meet me. He stalls and then says he can’t find me although he never texted or rang to tell me where he was so I could find him as I was only a short walk away. Finally he just said he was going home! I thought wtf .. I paid for a babysitter £10 an hour and he just blows me off like that. Oh and he was married!

    I orginally joined this site because I have met loads of men on the net and half the time they stand me up. I will book a sitter a week before and then he will call me the day or day before and I am unable to cancel my sitter. Costing me valuable money I could better spend on my kids.

    Most of the men on this site are really not up to the quality I am used to and definately would never give a second thought. Simply because they are very superficial!

    As for the rules above! Well they are rubbish! And judging from the mens replies I think its obvious they are not interested in a proper date but more of a shag then anything else.

  54. Magno says:

    Katrina,

    My experience has been the polar opposite. Many of the women on this site seem to be emotionally vacant, and not open to anything than a hit and run arrangement….tap and go, don’t let the cat out as you close the front door.

    Nobody seems even remotely open to the possibility of developing a friendship that could lead to a relationship down the road. Money and casual, no strings attached sex seems to be the prevailing theme on here. I guess it is a sign of the times….living in an instant gratification, me, me, me world.

    I have learned to screen out 99 percent of the female profiles on here that are just looking to fool around.

  55. betty says:

    I am ok with being single and enjoying the company of men. When they make for great company!

  56. Katrina says:

    Magno,

    Unfortunately it is more difficult for us women to “screen” 99% of male profiles on here that are just looking to fool around. And what worries me is that when we do meet up with him and the chemistry isn’t there will he give us our date money or run off?

    I do think its a sign of the times! Very few men seem to feel confident in a peck on the cheek. As one friend said.. if their isn’t any touching and feeling then the date probably didn’t go that well. Which is silly to me. Whatever happened to good conversation and enjoying each others company? But being as experienced as I am with dating I know that rarely will we see a guy again unless we kiss him and let him touch our ass on the first date.

    The second is heavy petting and the third he usually asks if we can book a hotel. Its disgusting!

  57. Umm.. Spitting the bill? Seriously? Even on a normal date, who ever ask who on the date (male unless you’re a lesbian) pays for the bill. Ordering modestly, I will order what ever I want and eat it ALL lol everything else seems legit though. Somebody really needs to delete “splitting” the bill though !

  58. Magno and ARealCad make some good points. First Magno – at least you’re honest. Cad, your approach is rather mechanical – but effective – and again, an honest enough approach.

    As to the date itself – If the woman offers to pay, I say “no thank you” and let it go at that. Depending on progressive dates with the same person – it’s what we (and she) is most comfortable with. If her issue is to feel that she needs to be on some perceived “even ground” so that there is less pressure for some “shagging” or “sex”, I do everything I can to re-assure her – there is NO pressure. Period. Some of us guys are like this, believe it or not.

    I will say though that I try to have the “vetting” down by way of making sure they actually read my profile. My profile states specifically – I am looking for ONE person, who is willing, provided the chemistry is there, to explore a sexual relationship with the added point that I am looking for a FRIEND. Note that word – F R I E N D. It means I want to actually LIKE the person I am with, and that they like me and that every meeting doesn’t need to end in sex. Seriously – if the friendship isn’t there, the sex will not be either. Enticing, mesmerizing and setting a woman’s mind on fire is as much fun if not moreso that doing that to her body. It’s a package deal.

    In general all that I ask is the woman just be honest with me. I also agree with the quick drink or coffee kind of date – nobody wants to endure a dinner all the while you’re have suspicions the other person wants to gnaw their arm off to escape, or that you want to take a bullet in a the head 15 minutes into the date in order to stop the pain.

    Have there been some “emotionless” encounters? Sure. There have been some totally psychotic ones, too – so I suggest Google Voice (for those in the USA) to keep your information private. I absolutely agree on the “background fact checking” too, but in order to protect MY privacy, I do the same thing as well. Hence, that’s why we meet in a public venue – and if you want to have a friend nearby? Fine! Let them vet me, too. I’m comfortable enough with who I am and what I’m looking for – so vet me all ya want.

    Bottom line – you pay for one date; what you do and plan for after that date comes after if there is chemistry there and you’re both honest to each other. Be it no chemistry so you never hear from the person, successive dates to build a solid friendship, or “OMG! we simply cannot keep our paws off each other long enough to even breathe” encounter – great! This site just brings us the opportunity to sit across from each other and see what happens.

    Spirit_Greywolf

  59. charity550 says:

    WoW.. I just signed up on this site 2 days ago and I really don’t know what so say or think.. I’ve read all of the things that have been posted here and it makes me kinda want to run. I feel bad that time is wasted on arguments like these..

  60. Alison says:

    I’ve had my share on this site and had the weirdest experience ever. I met a man who happened to be my first on this site and we clicked, he travels a lot and is a Wall Street Trader. Very successful ad we both felt a connection. We spent the weekend together and he would text me every day several times a day. He was so into me! He on the other hand going through a divorce and at first I didn’t believe him but over time everything fell into place. We have been seeing each other for about a month and a half. Last night we haven’t seen each other for a while but we made plans to meet and he confirmed and everything. Communicated all the way till I got there. The next thing I know,”Give me 10 inutes.” Nothing…never shows up. No response and I was so shocked and confused. :( It didn’t make sense what he did and why would he do that to me after everything we gone through together. Finally I heard from him and he says The reason why he stood me up is because he has feelings for me nd doesn’t want to fall in love, hurting me and getting hurt. It makes sense since we came close and he is finalizing his divorce and is scared and not ready for this. I understood but I don’t kno where we stand. It sucks because I am a great girl.

  61. YourSecretSugarBaby says:

    First I gotta say kudos charity550, I couldn’t make it through all of it. I only read like 10 ugh right? Now, I’ve got to say, MY GAWD, reading this blog reminds be of why I got a divorce. Its Not the subject matter its the matter of bickering.
    Why is there not a mediator? This blog seriously needs to be edited.

  62. miamya says:

    Wow, I am somewhat concerned about what has been written. I just recently signed up on this site and I didn’t know all of these issues existed. I told some friends of mine about this site and they thought it was a sex site, But I refuted that. I watched the video and thought you’re right if someone is truly interested in going out with you then they will pay for the first date. Well, just reading some of the comments, I am SMH and rethinking my decision. What is this site really about??? Is this site what my friends said it was, am I being naive? WOW!! SMH

  63. michelle says:

    So the list is helpful but don’t get the split the bill on first date.. I like the fact that people actually respond on these topics. Nice

  64. hayleegurl says:

    First an FYI: These rules DO, INDEED apply to ladies in the 10′s: 1610′s, 1710′s, and 1810′s.

    I am a M2F trans-person, and the first strike against this site is that there was NO WAY when signing up for a new account, to indicate this fact. And then, I read this mindless, outdated drivel.

    If you want to be a LADY in 2012, here are some RELEVANT tips:

    1) Always be polite. A true lady, whether by birth or trans, shows grace and poise always.

    2) Don’t be a tease or lead the guy on. More horror stories begin with “She was giving out all the signals” than you would imagine. Your body language should mirror your words, if not exactly, at least enough to make your true intentions clear.

    3) Keep an eye out for your own safety. Remember, you are out with a complete stranger. Avoid going anywhere that you feel might impede safety. There’s no better ways to give off mixed signals than by acting apprehensive, or giving the guy power over you and your well-being and safety.

    4) If a date’s going poorly, the quickest way to end it gracefully is to state honestly, “This isn’t working.” Then, leave the establishment, making sure to leave payment for your half of the date where your date can CLEARLY see it. I know the site harps on “No going Dutch”, but NOTHING says “It’s over” quicker and with more force than a physical reminder, and by doing this one simple action, you are saying loud and clear that you are NOT indebted to the guy, and that you KNOW you owe him absolutely nothing.

    5) Never go to either party’s house on a first date. By letting him take you home, you are sending a subliminal message that the guy should expect something more than a companion for dinner. And going to his house SCREAMS OUT “I’m easy, and want sex”. Remember, FIRST AND FOREMOST, to always be safe.

    6) Always take the seat closest to the center of the establishment, and NEVER allow yourself to be put into a position where your chances to make a quick, unimpeded exit is put in jeopardy.

    7) Greet the host of the restaurant, and the server/maitre d’. By doing this, you are sending two clear messages to your date: “I know my limits”, and “Someone knows I’m here, and COULD be watching your actions”. Besides, it’s polite, establishes rapport, and could, quite possibly, provide you with an additional line of defense, should the date go wrong. Many times, I have been rescued by an “unexpected” phone call, an “old friend” that just “happens” to show up, etc.

    8) When in doubt, double or go out as a group, at least until you get to know your date, and have established his overall character.

    9) Avoid tobacco products and alcohol during the date. Cigarettes make your breath and clothing smell, and send a hidden signal of “sex”. I know it’s an old stereotype to see a sexy model smoking, but it is very true. A woman who smokes during a date, at least in a man’s mind, sends a subtle message that you aren’t afraid to break the rules. And everyone knows that alcohol impedes descision making, lowers inhibitions, and leaves you wide open for possible drugging or date rape. Alcohol’s effect is intensified in women, due to the various hormones in her body. Estrogens have a calming effect, as opposed to testosterone’s aggression-inducing behaviors (think ‘roid rage).

    10) Never be afraid to make a scene, if the date turns ugly. Slap his face, if his actions merit it. Raise your voice. Knock over your drink. Anything to draw attention to yourself, and the potentially dangerous situation, will aid in your escape.

    11) Never give out personal information on a first date. Do not give out your number, or request his. BY NO MEANS HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST (or second, or third, …) date. If the date goes well, suggest another PUBLIC place to meet next time.

    12) Be prepared. This means being punctual in your arrival, looking appropriately attired for the situation (both in dress and hygiene), AND carry enough money to pay your share if the need arises (remember rule #4), in addition to cab fare (avoid public transportation, as this can lead to unsafe circumstances. IF AND ONLY IF you have parked in a secure, WELL-LIT, and WELL-TRAVELED area should you drive yourself home. You can always go back in the daylight to retrieve your vehicle, but you can’t always predict unsafe areas like parking structures, blind alleys, etc.

    I know I’m harping on safety a lot, but after all, you are going out WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER, and bad things, unfortunately CAN, AND DO happen to unsuspecting women. Remember, Heels are pointed, and can be used as a line of defense, mace or pepper spray is USUALLY an effective deterrent, and a full purse, when swung with appropriate force, can knock even the strongest man off balance, even if you’re a 90-pound weakling.

  65. Kay says:

    I have a question! I am new to this thing and am kind of confused on how it all works, i have never done a website thing like this, but its somethin new i want to try, i just want to make a very good impression…the first time!…so if any one has advice about that other than safety it would be greatly appreciated!

  66. Saffron says:

    Hayleegurl – yours is certainly the best advice I have seen yet on these blogs. Bravo for posting about safety – so many forget about it!

  67. Angie says:

    Personally,I think it depends on what women are looking for on this site.If a woman is here looking for a Sugar Daddy relationship,I know for sure the woman never pays any part of the bill.That is the man’s job in that situation and realistically,that relationship involves a man who is willing to spoil and pamper an attractive lady while enjoying each other’s company.If it’s a first date,then sure.That situation involves two people who are looking to settle down or trying to find “the one”.If the relationship is strictly platonic,then without question splitting the bill is a must.

  68. myah says:

    Some men are understanding and others simple minded ! Anyways yes maybe some of us are in it for the money, so what if were not your type then dont waste time. Im a sugar baby, but it doesnt mean i am a ruthless gold digger. I have feelings too, and for a man who takes care of me financially i respect even more then one who wont because i know i can have someone who actually cares that much to treat me like a princess. When it all comes down to it im not going to have a sugar daddy i cant stand, feelings have to be mutual.

    tip for the ladies, make sure when you contact before the date that the money is upfront before the date stars or its a no go! that way you dont end up having to ask at the date!

  69. Kat says:

    No one should be kissing anyone in any manner good night if the date didn’t go well.

    That would only make him think you are interested in him.
    I did this once kisses him one the check to be a lady, the date had actually gone well tho. And later that night I got video of him playing with his hand and other head, So sick. Never spoke to him again!

    So guess what I’m saying is Ladies here have to careful too. Just cause he’s on this site doesn’t mean he’s not just looking for sex. They might think just because they payed for you to go out with him you owe him sex. So yeah I would say I have to agree with hayleegurl if it’s not going well pay for your half and get the hell out of there.

  70. elsa says:

    ok, so if a woman and a man are in agreement for a payment exchange for a date and it is a legitimate date, or its just for the money, SO WHAT. we are all adults and we all have opinions, but what it boils down to is two consentual adults agreeing to do what they want. I have read people complain about golddiggers,,,,,,,um,,,,,whats the name of this site again??????? duh. and it may not just be for the money for some men or women. whatever the case, let people live, do what they want for their life and have a nice day!!!!!

  71. CooPerson says:

    Woah… this blog is dancing on the thin line of escort service. If you date someone -you can’t tell them how to act. If you want your money to have veto power on their behaviors and the impression they’d give to others while out in public then this is the wrong place to purchase a facade.

    (Unless this website is infact supportive and encourages the attractive users to be escorts -last i checked it was discouraged.)

  72. Joy says:

    I am curious, are not-so-attractive women up against the same dating nonsense as many attractive women do? I do all this but offer to split the bill. I am on this site because I am a magnet for liars, married men and players on other sites. When I do meet a nice guy, he’s dumbfounded that I am still single and assumes there is a “catch” or that I have a psycho side waiting to come out. That is why I decided to give this site a try. But after reading this blog, as well as others directed at men trying to date attractive women, I am rather amused at the mindsets of these males and am concluded that no matter how intelligent and selective I am, I have an uphill battle in finding true love. Maybe I should just let this site help me finance my salon bill (which by the way, teeters at over $500/month)

  73. chris says:

    Joy, no need to be super annoying. 500 if you have to use fake hair. That is true.

  74. Markie Mark says:

    Signed up two days ago. Got a wink from a potential date the next day. We made plans to do dinner and drinks. This morning I rolled over and asked her if she wanted cream in her coffee…

  75. betty says:

    Yea for mark! She sure likes you and that sounds hawt!

  76. Kami Lataille says:

    Although the convenience of email cannot be denied, the act of receiving and reading a snailmail letter is by far the better experience. So kudos to you!I understand that the letters are not personalized, but are they physically signed by the sender? That would be such a nice touch and one for which I’d gladly pay more. Perhaps the sender could sign a small percentage, so that a randomly chosen few each week would have a little extra thrill. That possibility would absolutely make my heart race a bit faster as I tore open the envelope!

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