6 Ways to Ensure a Second Date
  • Posted Jan 28, 2015
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Casual dating can be a lot of fun, but it can become exhausting if you are constantly going only on first dates. Are you tired of pulling the “Go Directly To Jail” card that reads, “Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200”?

go to jail

If you’re getting tired of the first-date grind, it could be time to switch things up. First, you need to determine: What element you are missing. Why aren’t you getting a second date? This list of 6 ways to ensure a second date might be enlisted in your dating battles.

Bring Your Personality … Or Find One

There are many things you don’t want to forget to bring on the first date—but leaving your personality at home might be the biggest cause of dating disaster. Not everyone is super outgoing and bubbly, and that is perfectly fine. But please don’t seem like a “Debbie Downer” or just an insanely boring individual … especially if you actually are one.

Smile, laugh, tell a joke. A keen sense of humor is very attractive. Show emotions, be animated, push yourself not to just sit there. Keep in mind that you are creating a lasting first impression the moment the date begins. Being dull and unmemorable will lead to the no-second-date blues.

Add To The Conversation. Flow Is Everything.

A successful conversation is a two-way street. This means that it truly must go both ways, so resolve to actively add to the flow. The first date may seem like an interview, and that may not sound fun—but it’s actually perfect because a Q&A is the best way to keep a conversation going! Be sure to have thought-out responses for easy use when carrying on a conversation. Responding with close-ended responses like “yes” or “no” are instant conversation killers! (So don’t ask them, either, if you want to keep the talk—and interest—going strong.

Get creative, spark interest, and don’t be afraid to elaborate on your date’s comments. You are there to get to know each other! Most importantly, try not to constantly talk about yourself. It’s ironic: How do you answer questions about yourself but not constantly talk about yourself?

It’s easy: After addressing the question, talk about something you feel or know about something similar, then ask your date for their take on it. No one wants to sit there and listen to you draft your memoirs, but they are curious about you. Make it a give-and-take game of verbal volleys! It’s more fun and you’ll each learn much more about the other than if you just asked and answered direct questions.

Also, be sure to actually listen to what your date has to say. That way you can give feedback and respond appropriately. Always make direct eye contact, it shows you are genuinely intrigued and paying close attention.


Establish Common Interests

As you get deeper into a conversation, be on the lookout for common interests. These interests can easily segue into a more in-depth conversation. Who knows? You might just find out that you both enjoy watching Scandal. And there you go—the gateway to a second date has just opened up!

The more you two realize what you have in common, the more promising your first date will be. Which means there is likely going to be a second date! Put yourself out there—you might just find someone who is as passionate as you are.

Look The Part

Take the time to pick out an appropriate outfit. Choose something tasteful and keep it classy. Ladies, leave the miniskirts at home; and gentlemen, trade in that “hilarious” graphic tee for a collared shirt. It’s crucial to look your best. Keep your ensemble simple, not too flashy or over the top. You don’t want the main focus to be on your possibly outrageous sense of style.

Also, be mindful not to wear too much heavy perfume or cologne. Fragrance allergies are actually quite common. Unless you are offering complimentary Benadryl, it’s best not to take the risk. Less is more. Wear something light.

Last but not least, take the time to groom yourself. Ladies, wear natural looking makeup and do something nice with your hair. Wear the attractive style that you’re most comfortable with. Men typically don’t care how you wear it, as long as it looks neat. As for you men: shave, or at least trim your beard. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little facial hair … again, as long as it looks nice and neat.

Back Away From The Phone

In this day and age, technology makes the world go round. It’s easy to get lost in a world of unlimited text messages, social media, and a never-ending supply of apps. You’ll miss entirely too much of your date if you keep your nose buried in your phone.

Don’t be rude! Put that phone on silent, answer texts later, and let phone calls go to voicemail. Be respectful in giving your date full, undivided attention for the entirety of your time together. No one likes to feel ignored. Constantly checking your phone is a sure way of showing you’re more interested in what’s going on in the cyber world instead of what’s happening right in front of you.


Don’t Be Too Forward

Be playful and flirty on the first date. Just don’t go overboard. The last thing you want to do is send your date running for the hills thinking you’re a man-eater or womanizer. Pay close attention to your partner’s body language and emotions. Does he or she look comfortable? Have you received any strange looks or even glares during conversation? Does there appear to be an interest? These are all key things to look out for when trying to set the correct tone.

Good or bad, all dates come to an end. This is where the biggest question comes into play: Is it okay to kiss on the first date? A smooch could be an awful surprise or the icing on the cake. There’s no objectively right or wrong answer. It may be safer to go without trying for a kiss, but if there is a lot of chemistry between you, then go for it. If you are unsure, it’s probably best to avoid any awkward scenarios. You wouldn’t want to ruin any second-date chances on the account of leaning in for a kiss too soon.

Keep things fun and light-hearted. Give each other something to look forward to for next time, and refrain from getting intimate too soon. If you hit it off, you can be sure you’ll see each other again.


First dates are filled with numerous opportunities, so don’t miss out on the chance to make a lasting impression and land a second date. Keep these tips in mind and cruise through the hot seat atmosphere of that initial date.

When will you go on your next first date?

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